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Answers in Dreams

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Prior to bed I again asked for clarification, this time shifting my question to, "Give me more specifics on what you mean by "face". Face what exactly?"

Dream: Suitor 

I was invited to a man's home where we had dinner and a nice chat. He was a nerdy (something has been overlooked) sort of guy with a pronounced nose, thin face and light hair. He was tall and thin, wore glasses and appeared to be somewhat young. We got along well, though, and I enjoyed his company. We spoke about his plans, his education and other things. He invited me to be more than friends. I declined. I remember being attracted to the attention he was giving me but understanding the implications allowing myself to overly indulge in his attention. I did not want to encourage him knowing I was unable to reciprocate. I had thoughts about my husband and family at this time.

I remember him telling me he had bought the house (soul, self) we were in. His believed if he owned a house and was successf…

FACE

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Things have been good. Quiet, too. I've not heard any updates from my mom but I haven't inquired. I will be visiting tomorrow to celebrate her birthday so figured I'd wait for any updates until then. My focus has mainly been on my children and my own personal goals. Keeping busy has been my motto, but a good busy, not just monotonous stuff.

I've been steadily working toward my goal of a 10 min/mile on my runs. I reached it and then some, managing a 9:41 pace on the 5K this morning (yay!) and a similar pace on 4 miles yesterday. It was almost too easy which suggests that it is all in my thinking, not so much in my physical body. But then I have always believed I control my body, my body doesn't control me. One's thoughts really make or break a run, or anything for that matter. Think you can, you will. Think you can't, you won't.

I have now reclaimed my running joy, something I thought I had lost when I started back into running this past July. It really…

As It Is

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Woke early this morning at around 5:30am with no dream recall whatsoever. Super tired, I rolled over to try and return to sleep despite hearing tiny footsteps on the stairs outside my room.

Dream: Injured Cat

I was in a garage (period of inactivity in my life) with my mom about to get into the car to go somewhere. It felt like early morning. My mom told me my brother was checking on an injured cat (feminine spirit, sexuality) he saw in the road that had been hit by a car. He was going to take it to the vet and see if he could save its life. I remember thinking, "My brother the cat hero" or something like that and thinking about how he always did have a big heart. In my mind I saw the cat - gray with thick fur and wrapped in a towel. It reminded me of one of my mom's cats that recently died, attacked in the night by some animal and left in my mom's front yard for her to find in the morning, entrails strewn all over.

Dream: Adoption Agreement

The dream merged into anoth…

Change is Afoot

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The energy is intense again, but not in the usual (spiritual) way. I woke up yesterday morning feeling a strong urge to do something about my current situation. This is the third or fourth time I've woke up with this feeling. Usually I wake early and then can't return to sleep because my mind is so active. This morning the thought going through my mind was, "I've got to get out" and it took me a while to calm down and stop that thought from superseding everything.

A couple of nights ago my guide told me, "Everything will be clear in the morning." I wonder now if this is what he was referring to? It is not often that I wake up with such a strong inclination for change and this morning things are already pointing to changes on the horizon.

Change is Afoot

When I checked my phone upon waking there was a message from my mom to me and two of my siblings. She spent an evening in the ER and was informing us of what happened. It is nothing serious, thankfully, …

More Tears Anyone?

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Seriously tired of crying - in my dreams, when I'm meditating, when I have down time/alone time.......crying in general! I never know what will set me off, either. Sometimes it is beautiful things, sometimes sad things, other times it's memories, and then sometimes I have no idea why I'm crying. If I'm busy, I'm good to go. Stay occupied = no crying. Got it. But the minute I'm alone and unoccupied then my heart grows heavy and I get all sappy and weak-like and usually end up crying either a little or a lot. UGH! Then, lucky me, I get to cry in my dreams!!!!!!!!!!

No, it's not an all-the-time thing, thankfully, but it happens enough still that it is bothersome. I'm getting a bit grumpy/angry about it now.

Dreams

When I woke at 6:15am I had no memory of my dreams and fell back to sleep. When I woke again I was in tears, full-on sobbing, but suddenly had an entire night's worth of dream recall.

School dream with burning car - Dreamed I was in school (li…

October Energy and Update

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The energy is weird. It started October 1st and has just continued. Full moon maybe? I didn't even realize the full moon was so close until today.

On October 1st toward the evening I began to feel like nothing I did or ever could do would matter or change my future. It was such a helpless feeling but interestingly enough it came with an unburdening. My shoulders felt lighter and I exhaled relief. I can't remember now what I was thinking prior to this feeling. Probably trying to sort out my future, to make decisions about the direction I wish to go.

Then on the 2nd the news of the Las Vegas shooting came and I wondered if maybe the gunman (or gunmen) felt some of what I felt on the 1st? Maybe he just felt so hopeless he lost his mind? Maybe he figured he would do something drastic since nothing else seemed to make a difference? Makes me glad that I relaxed into the feeling and let it unburden me.

Dreams

For both the 1st and the 2nd I had strange dreams and woke up crying. The t…

Let Go of Everything

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Lately I've been having emotional surges. Yesterday there were quite a few of them toward evening. They are not welcomed because they are the same kind I've had all year - a deep, penetrating sadness and heartache.

One particularly intense one was triggered by a song that was being sung in a show I was watching. It was so beautiful and the minute I recognized it's beauty tears started to flow. My thought was, "It's so beautiful." Then the tears came so hard and fast I couldn't breathe. My heart aching as is the norm. My guide said to me, "You are beautiful." This only caused me to cry more. I heard more, more about accepting love, feeling worthy of love, being the love the I am. Most of what I heard is lost to me because I was so overcome by emotion. I remember acknowledging that I missed the feeling of being utterly open and vulnerable yet at the same time completely safe and without fear. I miss feeling that connection with another and somehow…