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It's been a while since I've written in this blog. I've been shifting back to my WP blog but still don't feel 100% comfortable there when it comes to writing about the more mundane aspects of my life.

I am halfway through my NASM course and finding it harder and harder to stay interested. The course pace is slow compared to how quickly I work on my own and that is the main reason for my loss in interest. Not much else to say about this topic.

I have been struggling for almost two months now with horrible hormonal acne around both sides of my mouth. The antibiotics I was prescribed worked but then began to run out prior to getting another prescription. So the spots started recurring and I am having to go through the whole process of healing again.

When I say "horrible" compared to others struggling with acne it is really not that bad, but to me it is horrible because it is worse then the acne I had as a teenager. When I was a teenager I use to cry about my co…

Giving Up is Letting Go

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If you've noticed, I've not been posting much in this blog. I've been attempting to shift back to WP but find myself limited by it. Limited meaning I don't feel safe to post the more mundane and personal aspects of my journey. There is an expectation that goes along with my WP blog, an expectation to post about OBEs, dreams, and the spiritually profound. Anything else is lacking.

I mentioned in my WP blog today that there are things that happened on the 10th and 11th that I couldn't write about on there. Well, I will share some of that here now.

Whatever "change" the 11/11 portal brought for you, for me it seems to be a full letting go of a particular dream of mine. Giving up is a better word, though. Giving up on a person, really. On 11/11 my FB feed showed a pic I had posted last year. The pic showed my old office telephone with 11/11 and the time 11:11 am. I recalled the horrible pain I was going through at the time and recognized how far I have come …

Taking a Win

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Happy 1111 day (November - 11, 1st, 2017 = 10).

I've been mulling over this post all day, hesitant to actually post it. Why? I'm not totally sure but here I am and we shall see what comes of it.

The other day I stumbled upon a bunch of photos hidden in a drawer. They were from way back, like my teens, college years, and the time I spent with my ex-husband. In fact, the photos came from my ex. He mailed them to me one day after he found them and a bunch of my stuff in his parent's garage. In these photos were several from when I was 17-19 years old. One in particular caught my attention because 1. it didn't even look like me, yet it very obvious was and 2. I was wearing a bra and panties and quite...um....chunky. I wracked my mind to try and figure out when and where the photo was taken. I came up with sometime in 1994-1995 in a hotel room somewhere. It was during freshman year - after gaining the notorious "Freshman 15" and I weighed around 160lbs.

I still do…

Lessons

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I've been more tired than usual lately. Not extremely so, but a noticeable difference in energy level, enough that I have cut back on running and weight lifting to give my body more recovery time. For example, in the first three weeks of October I ran an average of 20 miles per week, this week I ran only 12. I upped the weight I have been lifting, though, but not by much as I have a home gym and am limited by my equipment. When I have gone running I have had little motivation and felt low on energy. I have also been dreading my weight training but doing it anyway. Pushing through it, as is my tendency.

The things is, my body is telling me to slow down in other ways. For example, I have had more aches and pains than normal and feel a bit "off" health-wise. I recognize my lack of motivation/dread as tell-tale signs of over training. Plus, when the body hurts, you listen! What is hurting? My knees feel achy on and off but nothing major. The part of my upper back that was h…

No Job, No Worries

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Not a whole lot to write about this morning. Things have been quiet and a bit uneventful and I've not been much interested in blogging these days. My motivation for blogging is mostly my spiritual experiences and it has been eerily quiet lately except for seeing a lot of combinations of 11, 111, and 1111's. No lucid dreams or OBEs, no Kundalini, no strange feelings or "ah-ha" moments - just the mundane, physicality overload.

No Job, No Worries

I've still not heard anything about the job. Yesterday I got a call from another manager of a store, though. He asked me to consider working for him and gave me the address so I could check it out. I was shopping for shoes at the time with my son, Elek. The new pair I bought at the beginning of the month caused my left foot to get sore and so I had to send them back, so, I needed a replacement pair. When I got the phone call, Elek saw his chance to escape and went on a run across the store at full speed. It was very hard to…

Auspicious

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Auspicious: A a word that came to mind when considering how my life has recently changed. It actually popped into my mind while responding to a FB post about current astrological events and their potential effects. For me, the change began around October 10 when Jupiter entered Scorpio. I don't know much about why this astrological change in planet location would affect me the way it did but I felt the shift the day before and have been feeling it ever since! It initially felt like a burden lifted off my shoulders in the way I perceived it. Then there was a definite relaxing of my physical body and even my mind relaxed as my inner dialogue slowed to a trickle. I continue to feel more calm and relaxed. It's like my subconscious received the message, "The threat is over" after being on alert for way too long.

Doors Will Open

I received the message, "Doors will open for you now" not long ago. When I heard it I Knew it was truth but I did not speculate as to wh…

Answers in Dreams

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Prior to bed I again asked for clarification, this time shifting my question to, "Give me more specifics on what you mean by "face". Face what exactly?"

Dream: Suitor 

I was invited to a man's home where we had dinner and a nice chat. He was a nerdy (something has been overlooked) sort of guy with a pronounced nose, thin face and light hair. He was tall and thin, wore glasses and appeared to be somewhat young. We got along well, though, and I enjoyed his company. We spoke about his plans, his education and other things. He invited me to be more than friends. I declined. I remember being attracted to the attention he was giving me but understanding the implications allowing myself to overly indulge in his attention. I did not want to encourage him knowing I was unable to reciprocate. I had thoughts about my husband and family at this time.

I remember him telling me he had bought the house (soul, self) we were in. His believed if he owned a house and was successf…