The End is Near

 

Not meaning to scare anyone. The title is a personal reflection of what I feel and am experiencing right now in my own life, not about the world or humanity in general. Unfortunately, the dreams I had in January predicted the events of this past week and if my dreams are accurate, there will be more change to come and it won't end until the middle of March.

The first thing that happened was that a job came open at my work and I decided to put in for a transfer. Just thinking about changing jobs brought about an intense emotional response for me and I choked back tears of happiness tinged with a bit of anxiety. It was as if I knew that this marked the beginning of one aspect of my life and the end of another, but I was unaware of the significance of it at the time. Typically, an emotional response such as the one I had about this career change signifies something good to come, so I treasured the feeling even though it scared me a bit. I am not one who enjoys change, especially change that is not my choice. For some reason I did not feel ready for this change.

The next day I got an email about my transfer request simply asking me to call in and talk to someone at personnel. I immediately got a sinking feeling in my stomach that would not go away. The feeling was that something bad was going to happen. I figured it meant that my transfer would be rejected and I took a deep breath and went about my day. I had not felt fully ready for the change that a new job would bring, sobeing told I would likely not get the job was not a complete disappointment.

I called personnel and was told I would likely not be considered for the job (so my feeling was correct). I thought this news would cause the feeling in the pit of my stomach to go away. It didn't. Then a hour later I was threatened by someone and felt unsafe at my own job. Something about the emotional overflow must have touched on other repressed emotions because I could not stop the emotions and tears for the remainder of the night and I did not sleep a wink.

The rest of the week I was up and down emotionally. On February 14th I got quite a surprise that was  both a message for me as well as a predictor of world changes to come. On my drive into work I was in a good mood, feeling positive about the future and ready for change. I remember thinking, "I will get a job". As soon as I had that thought I noticed a bright light out of the corner of my eye. When I looked to my right I saw a bright whitish-blue fireball shooting out of the sky right above the power lines about 50-100 feet in front of my car. I followed it with my eyes as it flew across my line of sight. Two fragments broke off of it and burned white until they went out right before hitting the ground. Then the larger piece continued down past the tree line and its light went out.

I gasped for a moment thinking "That was a shooting star!" Then I thought, "No way, that was too close. It had to be something else. Maybe a flare gun?" I looked to my right to see if there was anyone on the side of the road. I was driving in the country where all that was around was hills and trees, so I was not surprised to find nothing and no one around. It was still dark so it was hard to see much except the outlines of trees and objects. There was definitely not another bright light or streak to indicate the use of a flare gun.

I went ahead to work, still amazed and thought to myself, "I need to make a wish!" So I did. I felt special to have witnessed such a unique event.

I reported what I saw to the American Meteor Society when I got to work. The amazed feeling I had lasted all day. I felt so blessed to have witnessed such a glorious event. I had no fear. I saw it as a message to me that my thoughts would manifest. I would find a new job.

The next morning I took the day off because I couldn't sleep again. I was again worried about not feeling safe at work. That morning I was shocked to read on the news that a huge meteorite hit Russia and wounded 1000 people. The footage confirmed that what I had seen the day before was a smaller version of what had hit Russia.

First thought: Wow. Second thought: Oh my God. I could've been killed. Second thought: What does it mean?

I let the thoughts go but there was a sinking feeling in my stomach. This time, though, it was an excited feeling. It didn't last, though. I still don't know the significance, if any, of my encounter with a "fire ball". I know that many in the world might view the one that hit Russia as a sign, especially when another fire ball was caught on film in the California sky days later. It makes one wonder and consider how small we are in this huge universe.

Maybe my close encounter was a sign indeed, one meant to help me recognize that my worries and mundane concerns are unnecessary and trivial. The awe I felt when witnessing the fire ball is one I cannot put into words. I felt honored to have been witness to such glory. It made me feel connected to the One....God....the universe.

As I write this I recognize so many things that I have not in the last few days. I feel tears welling up and my throat gets tight.

I don't want to cry anymore. The feelings that come with it are so varied, but mostly contain sadness. Sadness that I cannot help as much as I want to - I want all pain and misery to stop. Not just my pain and misery - everyone's, especially the children and the innocent creatures of this Earth. Sadness that I cannot help those that are asleep to awaken and SEE. Sad that I don't like mankind and his petty, materialistic ways. Sad that I am part of mankind which makes me petty and materialistic, too. Angry at myself for forgetting who I am and being too stubborn to admit that I am/was wrong.

Again, the words to a song pop into my mind - "It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine". As I hear the words I see the fire ball again in my mind and I also see a shining, white highway spread out in front of me. If this is the end of the world as I know it, at least I know I will feel fine.