Haunted School

This weekend has been a challenge for me. Well, the last two weeks have been a challenge. I am a person who thinks of my home as my sanctuary. I do not like just anybody to come into it. Plus, I am a creature of habit and I like my routine. Finally, I am someone who likes to be in control. Seems all three of these tendencies of mine caused problems for me.

Since our move, my husband has been the social person that he is. In two weeks, two of his cousins came into town at different times. One last week for four days and one this weekend for two. Of course, my husband and his brother felt they should entertain them and pay for everything. This created a conflict between me and my husband because my cousins (which are very few) would never come and expect to be entertained and their whole trip paid for by me or other family. Not only can it get quite expensive and be a burden, but it just doesn't happen very often in my family. In fact, I don't think any of my cousins have ever done that to any other member of my family. Also, my house was once again invaded and my sanctuary disturbed, which in turn disturbed me. I felt I did not have any control over what happened and that also disturbed me. Since we disagreed, my husband decided to do his own thing and this created more of an issue between us. He overspent and then told me something was wrong with me for not being hospitable. I tried to explain to him that hospitable has limits in my eyes but to him, family deserves 100% even if that means putting us in the red money-wise.

I have forever known that money is one of my lessons. I also know that I will always have enough. Honestly, the money is really not the problem. Control is. I also know that in past lives I have had partners who I trusted completely, only to have them leave me with nothing. I have also watched this happen to my own mother in this life. I am told by my guide that money is merely an object, and like all objects, if you treat it as if you lack it or worry about not having enough, you will end up living in fear of losing it. In other words, you grant it power and so it can/will control you.

I am also reminded of a video my mom posted on Facebook not long ago, where a philosophy teacher is teaching his students a valuable lesson about what is important in life. It is called The Empty Pickle Jar. The video has stayed with me and it has been weeks, maybe even a month, since she posted it. I know my lesson is to try to focus less on the sand, and more on the golf balls.

I believe my dreams last night reflected my internal struggle with the above issues in my life.

Babies and Houses

I found myself traveling by car to the countryside. I recall thinking that I was traveling to where I once lived and took note of the changes I saw around me. There were new, very nice homes where once trees and grass had been. The houses had good sized yards and paved driveways.

I went into the driveway of a small home. It had a chain link fence surrounding it and a paved driveway but the home itself was not very spectacular. It was at this point that I recognized I was not alone and my husband had been driving. We were there for him and I had just gone along for the ride.

We sat down at a metal picnic table which was located outside in the pavilion, a large, open structure with a metal roof. The family was composed of many generations, specifically the a mother and father with their daughter and grand children. I remember that we were talking about my husband's work and the transportation of these families to and from the job site. I recall that the family we were talking with were very poor and Hispanic and the new baby was premature. When I looked at the baby he was very tiny and his facial features were not normal. It actually looked like his entire face was covered in burn scars. Yet as I watched him be handed to his mother, I noticed that he looked more normal and saw her other children were just fine. I figured it was just how this woman's children looked as babies.

It was then that my husband directed our attention to the transportation and a truck with a long, flatbed trailer attached. The trailer had a bunch of people standing up on it and I was told this was the way they go in and out of town and to work. I noticed that it was raining and asked, "Is this the way you get to work? What do you do when it is raining?" Someone in the family said it was not bad since the distance between home and work was not great.

At that point, my husband and I went to our car. It moved at the touch and my husband instructed the woman on how to control it externally. I watched as they manipulated the silver Prius, as if I were also learning how to control it.

We eventually got into the car and left, heading towards our old house. I remember thinking about where we were going and perceiving what we would see before we got there. In my mind I saw a new home built where once there had been a pond. Sure enough, when we got there the pond was gone and there was a new home. It was at that time that I began to regret selling our home, noting how many new homes were in the area and recognizing how sought-after country living really was.

This dream symbolizes my struggle and acceptance of the changes I recently brought into my life. The new baby being deformed especially stood out and symbolizes that these new beginnings are considered negative but slowly being accepted by me.

Haunted School

I believe I woke up at this time and then fell back to sleep. When I did, I was with a group of school children and teachers and we were headed toward an old, abandoned school. I remember telling them that they should be careful as I had seen a documentary about the school and the evil spirits that haunted it. I told them how many people had been hurt who visited it and that there had been accidents that killed. No one seemed to believe me, laughing at what I said and shrugging it off. I felt very concerned but knew I would be okay because I knew how to handle myself. So I agreed to go along with them to the school.

The old school had been abandoned because the structure was unsafe and too expensive to keep up. The outside was crumbling in places and I showed a student how the bricks would just fall off. The student, fascinated, took one and saved it as a souvenir.

There were children everywhere and they seemed to be middle school aged. I had a feeling of anxiety the entire time - worry over what might happen to one of them. The front doors of the school were open and the kids and other teachers went inside. I again cautioned them, but they didn't listen.

Inside, the kids wandered about and I recall seeing something out of place. There was this conveyor belt machine and the kids were playing with it. The belt led to a chute that was filled with water. The water tumbled out and went into a larger chute that was churning. It was a death trap!

One of the kids was playing with the conveyor belt and his lanyard got caught in it. The belt pulled him towards the chute and he was sucked into the water. Another kid was right behind him. I was horrified. I ran to the end and saw they were both fine and having a great time, yelling and laughing in the water. To them it was a fun ride. I still worried someone would get hurt.

I followed students into the cafeteria of the old school. I was surprised to find that they had prepared food and the cafeteria was full of people eating and having a good time. I noted how familiar it was and a little part of me felt relaxed for the first time. I went to an area where there were boxes of food items for sale. I immediately wanted the candy bars but they only sold them in packs of 10 for a dollar. I found some Milky Way bars for 10 cents each and grabbed two. I recall reading the nutrition info that said each bar was 50 calories, 3 fat, and 1 carbohydrate. I did not stay, though, and left, still feeling the safest place for me was outside of the haunted school. I could not wait to get out of there.

This dream symbolizes my resistance to my past. It suggests that I am still in the process of learning a lesson and there is repressed emotion remaining that I am resistant to. There is a hint of communication and consideration that the experience could be fun if I allowed it to be. I need to stop worrying and be less fearful of the unknown.

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