Living Life in Between

Trying to figure out what to do with this new beginning has me a bit flustered. I can't think of anything I want to do and am still struggling with depression that won't let up. Life is still not interesting and sleep is really the only place I feel comfortable and at ease. When I get like this I just fill in the time gaps with things that keep me mentally or physically occupied. Usually exercise is one of those thing but now with the panic attacks creating an issue with going to the gym, I am forced to either go running outside in the brutal heat and stay cooped up in the house exercising to YouTube videos. Staying inside is obviously not ideal and doesn't give me the same after workout satisfaction. It is limited and confining in so many ways. Running in this heat is just a bad idea. Even waking early it is too hot and the evenings are the same. Why is Texas so hot? It didn't use to be this hot when I was growing up (did it?). My main focus to fill in the time ga...

Today I've been unsteady but making progress on my new (old) path. I am scheduled to begin my processing next weekend. I am partnered with a friend who is well versed in metaphysical and the many strange and bizarre experiences I've had which is a positive. There is fear following me despite my knowing that this is the right thing for me to do. Fear that is unfounded which means I most likely will encounter exactly that which I do not wish to confront - which is the whole point! Currently my main goal is to eradicate the ever increasing panic attacks that I've been having since June. They are becoming a nuisance and interrupting my life. Yesterday I had one just driving to a hair appointment! There seems to be no rhyme or reason to them. I can't pinpoint the triggers and so I am constantly on the lookout for even the slightest change in my body suggestive of panic. It sucks and has proven beyond my ability to handle. Every one of them feels like a near-death experi...

Hi everyone. I know this blog has been set to "private" for a while now and that I have not been blogging here since 2014. Well I am shifting back to this blog and away from my WordPress blog. It's not that I have found the WP community unfriendly. Not at all. It's that I feel my time there is over for now. The reason for this is that I have recently realized that the path I have been on for the last three years is coming to an end. It's time to revert to the path I was on previously. What does this mean? If you have been following my WP blog then you have an idea of what I have been through these last few years. It's been a wild ride - a spiritual awakening all over again and brand new. However, the ride was never meant to last and here I am shifting back to where I left off. When I say "where I left off" I mean that my path is reverting back to auditing and continuing my processing. I stopped for many reasons - Kundalini began to rage, spiri...

In case you all haven't noticed, I have stopped posting in this blog. I am instead posting in my new Wordpress blog and have been transferring posts from this blog for some time now. I am not done transferring posts but have decided I will leave this blog active until I notice the stats decrease significantly. When that will be? I have no clue. In case you missed the post where I gave the link to my new blog, here is the link again: http://livinglifeinbetween.wordpress.com/ Thank you! I also wanted to take a moment and say thank you to everyone who has been reading this blog and following along with my life's up's and down's. My new blog will not include as much personal information, so if you have read this one you got quite a bit more about me, personally, than the new blog will reveal. Count yourself lucky - or not. I am, by nature, a very open and bluntly honest person, so I am sure I will struggle to resist posting some days. Who knows, maybe I will use thi...

I awoke hearing this song this morning. It completely threw me because it did not go along with the dream I was having. The main lyrics I was hearing was the part at the end where it continues to say "If you leave" over and over. I could hear the "Oh, oh-oh" as well. I assume the message was from Spirit telling me they would like me to stay in this life a little longer. Purpose It is funny how every time I start wondering what I am doing here on Earth this life, I get an answer. Lately, the answers are much easier to recognize. Instead of just hints or intuitive hunches, I actually get messages in words or pictures. I have even recently received intense urges or impulses. To receive such a strong message along with an urge has only happened one other time in my life, so it is a very rare thing indeed (for me). It makes the messages very difficult to ignore and even the stubbornest person (that would be me ) cannot talk their way out of it. Yester...

My husband is out of town so my sleep was interrupted more than usual since I didn't have any help with our baby. It seemed to makes no difference, however, to my dreams. I had a couple very vivid and detailed dreams last night.   Vampire War This dream was very intricate. I could write an entire novel from the details of just this one dream! In summary, however, the dream entailed the events leading to and culminating in a war between vampires and humans. I don't know which side I was on but I think I was on the human side, at least at first. The beginning of the dream included the revelation to me, my family and other humans, that vampires lived among us and they were tired of being hidden. The vampires came after children first. Not only did they kill them but they also created tiny vampires out of them. In one vivid scene, a vampire baby was birthed by a vampire mother. This was a shock in itself because vampires cannot have children! Yet, in the dream,...

I was awakened at 6:30am by my middle child looking for me. I did not want to get up but followed him down the stairs and saw that my mother-in-law had been at our home but was not there at present. Her stuff was there, though, and our baby was gone. I assumed she was out shopping and would be back so let my son play and went back upstairs. I asked my oldest, who was awake, to go down with him and I curled up in her bed. First OBE I fell back to sleep easily and suddenly found myself fully aware in the midst of a sexual dream. I was in my bed with my husband about to do "the deed" but when I looked up to see him this old, gray haired, skinny, wrinkly guy was staring at me with a smile on his face. I wondered who he was but couldn't place him. He did not scare me until he pointed down to his manhood. When I looked down I saw this huge penis that had to be three feet long. I immediately popped back into my body and then lay there, eyes closed wondering what had j...