It's the thought that counts
My new guides have been challenging me in a familiar way. Their words are easily drowned out by my daily routine but they still get through. They are masters of getting messages through to even the deafest of us!
In the beginning of the week my husband left for a business trip that took him to the Northwestern region of the country - Washington state. He was gone for four days and three nights. I was not very happy about it. I have difficulty handling life at home without his help. I had to do it, though, and so I just got over the disappointment, determined to get through it unscathed.
Surprisingly enough, the days and nights went by without incident. I felt calmer than normal when I was home and more at ease. It was a nice reprieve - not at all what I expected. With more time to be alone in the evenings and less stress at home to preoccupy me, I noticed my thoughts being interrupted more often than usual. The interesting thing about this is that the types of things being said to me were similar to what was said to me by my guides when I first started hearing them - words and phrases to make me question my thoughts and my beliefs. For example, one morning I was thinking about the previous day at work and quite down on myself. One of my guides said "Stop that!" and I felt that I needed to be more positive. Then he said, "Control your thoughts". "Control your thoughts" was what Steven use to tell me in the beginning. When I asked how, he would say, "Tell them to stop". When I told them to stop, they did.
So this whole week I have been very aware of my thoughts, much like I was when I first opened to my gifts. This, of course, makes me very aware of my guides. When I am alone they are very obviously there and I feel them and what they are thinking almost instantly. The morning my husband was to arrive home from his trip I was told, by Horace I think, "You will be surprised". When I looked for him to tell me more he just chuckled and said, "That is all I can say". So far, no surprises, but that is okay. I don't usually like them very much! lol
Thursday, at a meeting I had to go to after work, I had another "thought" come to me. It started off with me waiting for the presenters - other teachers from our schools - to give finish their presentation. There were three in the group and the second one was one of the teachers I work with. I don't necessarily dislike her, but she is rumored to be someone you don't want to make an enemy out of. So far I have not made her list that I know of. This woman is probably in her mid-fifties and has pure white hair. She loves to sing and brag about her family and her ability to teach. She is also grossly obese. I often wonder how she got so fat and I must admit, I am bit disgusted by her.
Well, this teacher who I will call Whitey because of her white hair, got up and did some relaxation techniques with the group. She was wearing a low cut tank top. This is not normally an issue except today she was bending forward and her breasts were hanging out. I couldn't look and many of the male teachers were looking away. But she was having a blast nonetheless. I was embarrassed for her and a bit horrified by the whole thing.
When that was over (big relief) she invited another teacher from my school to assist her. This teacher is also grossly overweight. She wasn't that way when I started working with her 4yrs ago but has put on a good 100lbs since I met her. Whitey asked this teacher to turn on some music and then Whitey asks us all to sing along to the song (can't remember it now). Whitey starts dancing and so does the other teacher. Both of them were bouncing and so was their fat. I had difficulty watching, and again, was embarrassed for them.
While I was looking away I had a thought enter my mind: Would you rather be overweight and having fun, like them, or thin and healthy but being a bump on a log? I immediately knew my answer: having fun, of course! Then I felt horribly guilty and another thought came to mind: Once you die, will you care if my body was healthy or will you care if you had a good time while in it? My thought in return was of course I would care more about if I had fun and probably wouldn't care much about whether my body was fat and out of shape.
Around the time I was having this little conversation with my guides, Whitey comes over to my table smiling as she sang and danced, trying to get me to have fun. I couldn't. All I could think of was how I had my priorities completely messed up. I also felt horribly guilty for the way I felt about them. No wonder I am so grumpy!
It looks like I still have a lot to work on and my guides are helping me see that. You know the saying, "It's the thought that counts"? It is true but not in the way it is typically used. Our thoughts determine our reality. If we can control them, then we can control our reality. In spirit we control with thought and intention but we have forgotten how to do that in the physical world. Our thoughts run rampant, like unattended children; some happy, some sad, some throwing tantrums and others confused and bewildered. Rather than take the time to sort through them, we leave them be, push them back into the deepest recesses of our mind and pretend they don't exist. We all know what happens to little children who are ignored for too long? They make themselves known in often unpleasant ways. And when they do, we act all shocked and don't understand how we could have such a thought or belief nor do we understand why we then act in such a way that doesn't fit with who we are. Then we make excuses and blame someone or something else for what we said or did because we truly don't know why we said or did it. Then we store it the memory of what we did or said and the excuse we used to justify it in the back of our mind, hoping we will never have to confront it. But it is always there.
The fact is we have become slaves to our thoughts. Our thoughts control us. Sometimes they make us feel horrible and we don't understand them - like mine did at my meeting. I know from experience that whenever that happens it is a signal to me that something is wrong; something doesn't make sense. That is when I know I need to find the answer; I need to fix what is broken.
I had a lesson on that in the beginning of my spiritual awakening. I guess I forgot about it.
In the beginning of the week my husband left for a business trip that took him to the Northwestern region of the country - Washington state. He was gone for four days and three nights. I was not very happy about it. I have difficulty handling life at home without his help. I had to do it, though, and so I just got over the disappointment, determined to get through it unscathed.
Surprisingly enough, the days and nights went by without incident. I felt calmer than normal when I was home and more at ease. It was a nice reprieve - not at all what I expected. With more time to be alone in the evenings and less stress at home to preoccupy me, I noticed my thoughts being interrupted more often than usual. The interesting thing about this is that the types of things being said to me were similar to what was said to me by my guides when I first started hearing them - words and phrases to make me question my thoughts and my beliefs. For example, one morning I was thinking about the previous day at work and quite down on myself. One of my guides said "Stop that!" and I felt that I needed to be more positive. Then he said, "Control your thoughts". "Control your thoughts" was what Steven use to tell me in the beginning. When I asked how, he would say, "Tell them to stop". When I told them to stop, they did.
So this whole week I have been very aware of my thoughts, much like I was when I first opened to my gifts. This, of course, makes me very aware of my guides. When I am alone they are very obviously there and I feel them and what they are thinking almost instantly. The morning my husband was to arrive home from his trip I was told, by Horace I think, "You will be surprised". When I looked for him to tell me more he just chuckled and said, "That is all I can say". So far, no surprises, but that is okay. I don't usually like them very much! lol
Thursday, at a meeting I had to go to after work, I had another "thought" come to me. It started off with me waiting for the presenters - other teachers from our schools - to give finish their presentation. There were three in the group and the second one was one of the teachers I work with. I don't necessarily dislike her, but she is rumored to be someone you don't want to make an enemy out of. So far I have not made her list that I know of. This woman is probably in her mid-fifties and has pure white hair. She loves to sing and brag about her family and her ability to teach. She is also grossly obese. I often wonder how she got so fat and I must admit, I am bit disgusted by her.
Well, this teacher who I will call Whitey because of her white hair, got up and did some relaxation techniques with the group. She was wearing a low cut tank top. This is not normally an issue except today she was bending forward and her breasts were hanging out. I couldn't look and many of the male teachers were looking away. But she was having a blast nonetheless. I was embarrassed for her and a bit horrified by the whole thing.
When that was over (big relief) she invited another teacher from my school to assist her. This teacher is also grossly overweight. She wasn't that way when I started working with her 4yrs ago but has put on a good 100lbs since I met her. Whitey asked this teacher to turn on some music and then Whitey asks us all to sing along to the song (can't remember it now). Whitey starts dancing and so does the other teacher. Both of them were bouncing and so was their fat. I had difficulty watching, and again, was embarrassed for them.
While I was looking away I had a thought enter my mind: Would you rather be overweight and having fun, like them, or thin and healthy but being a bump on a log? I immediately knew my answer: having fun, of course! Then I felt horribly guilty and another thought came to mind: Once you die, will you care if my body was healthy or will you care if you had a good time while in it? My thought in return was of course I would care more about if I had fun and probably wouldn't care much about whether my body was fat and out of shape.
Around the time I was having this little conversation with my guides, Whitey comes over to my table smiling as she sang and danced, trying to get me to have fun. I couldn't. All I could think of was how I had my priorities completely messed up. I also felt horribly guilty for the way I felt about them. No wonder I am so grumpy!
It looks like I still have a lot to work on and my guides are helping me see that. You know the saying, "It's the thought that counts"? It is true but not in the way it is typically used. Our thoughts determine our reality. If we can control them, then we can control our reality. In spirit we control with thought and intention but we have forgotten how to do that in the physical world. Our thoughts run rampant, like unattended children; some happy, some sad, some throwing tantrums and others confused and bewildered. Rather than take the time to sort through them, we leave them be, push them back into the deepest recesses of our mind and pretend they don't exist. We all know what happens to little children who are ignored for too long? They make themselves known in often unpleasant ways. And when they do, we act all shocked and don't understand how we could have such a thought or belief nor do we understand why we then act in such a way that doesn't fit with who we are. Then we make excuses and blame someone or something else for what we said or did because we truly don't know why we said or did it. Then we store it the memory of what we did or said and the excuse we used to justify it in the back of our mind, hoping we will never have to confront it. But it is always there.
The fact is we have become slaves to our thoughts. Our thoughts control us. Sometimes they make us feel horrible and we don't understand them - like mine did at my meeting. I know from experience that whenever that happens it is a signal to me that something is wrong; something doesn't make sense. That is when I know I need to find the answer; I need to fix what is broken.
I had a lesson on that in the beginning of my spiritual awakening. I guess I forgot about it.
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