Setbacks

For the past few months I have gotten every thing I have asked for. It has been an amazing ride full of high stress, amazement, awe and seemingly never-ending lists of things to do. Now that I have made it to the other side and gotten to my destination - a house sold, a house bought, a job lost, a job found - I find myself running into a road block. My last goal, to reach the state of Clear, has been slowed.

The road block would be considered a "bump" by some, but for me it is more than that. I was told I needed to complete more actions than I anticipated. One in particular needs to be completed before I leave and it is a particularly long one that requires a minimum of 20 days. The main issue I have with this one is the time it takes because I have committed to starting my new job on September 1st. I did this in order to have more time just in case a set-back occurred. However, I did not anticipate a setback like this or I would have said my start date needed to be October 1st! The other thing is I do not feel I need it at this time.

What is this additional step I need to complete? It is called the Purif and it is a program intended to clear the body of toxins left by medications, radiation, diet, drugs, alcohol, etc. The Purif consists of a daily regimen of vitamins and minerals, exercise and time spent in the sauna. It takes a minimum of 20 days to complete because the individual slowly increases vitamins and time in the sauna until they reach a specified amount.

I completed the Purif in 2007. However, they believe I need it again. I am not surprised. I had three children since then and one, the most recent, was major surgery where I was pumped with some potent medications. I know it is for my own good to complete this program but I just really wasn't anticipating it and really don't want to do it right now. It is slow, time consuming and boring. Every day you go in to the church, take your vitamins, jump on the treadmill for 30 minutes and then sit in the sauna for ever increasing amounts of time. The program is very successful and is used in the Narconon drug rehab program to help individuals kick drug addiction. I just really don't want to do it right now. :(

In addition to the Purif, I will have to complete another action later on. I have also already completed it and don't really feel I need it. It is also boring to me because like with the Purif, there is no digging into past lives, which is the part I love the most.

Options

I have a couple of options. One, I can call my new place of employment and tell them I will not be able to start when I anticipated and let them decide if they want to rescind their offer. The second is that I can wait until next summer when I will have more time.

The thing is, I don't want to wait that long. I feel I can't afford to wait that long. Another thing is that I have been second guessing taking the job I was offered. I still don't know if counseling in an educational environment is what I want to do and feel I may have put myself into another position which I may later regret. However, because of unforeseen financial obligations, I need to be working at least part-time.

Writing this, the choice seems obvious but I hesitate because I hate to throw away such a perfect employment opportunity, one that allows me to set my own hours and is in the perfect location. But I do not feel 100% about it and there is a nagging feeling that goes with putting aside my spiritual goals and hanging onto something for purely monetary reasons. There is also this feeling that I am meant to be somewhere else and that the opportunity has just not presented itself; that my path will be revealed in time. It all comes down to Trust, and I have always struggled with that.

If I am going to change my mind about my new job, I need to do it today. I do not want to put the man who hired me in a position where he is scrambling to try and find someone at the last minute. That would not be fair to him and I have already strung him along for a week.

Update

While writing this post, I realized that my heart is just not into working part-time yet. So, I called my husband about my considerations and he informed me that he would be making bonuses enough to handle our bills for the next nine months. So, my understanding is now that I do not need a part-time job. This frees me up to do whatever I wish in terms of work and spiritual pursuits.

I hate to call and tell them I changed my mind because it cannot be undone. Once I say no, that is it. It puts me in a bad position with them and may burn a bridge. However, sitting around and doing nothing will only makes things worse. I plan to call them and explain today before it is too late. I am trusting myself and my intuition on this one. No more settling for that which is not part of my Truth. 




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