Return Home
My trip to Florida was cut short. I left for Florida on Monday and flew home last night when my intention was to stay much longer than that. It turns out I was given the wrong information and I was not eligible for services. So when I got there I was informed that I could not stay at my hotel because of my ineligibility and so I had to get another hotel and a return ticket for the next day. The entire time I was running on very little sleep so much of the events of the last few days are like a dream to me.
Rather than dwell on the negative aspects of what happened, I want to recount some experiences I had that were powerful, positive examples of the spiritual love and support that exists all around us. Although I was not accompanied by any of my family on this trip, I felt surrounded by family throughout my journey, especially during my actual travel by plane from airport to airport.
Connection to the Past
The day I left my home I experienced some very strange pangs of anxiety that were familiar to me. In fact,
when I felt them I had a complete recollection of a similar time in my life when I was taking a similar leap of faith into places unknown.
2004
During this time in my life I was feeling very lost and had been searching for a way to use my spiritual gifts in a more expansive way. I had connected with a woman in Montana who owned a ranch hidden in a valley close to where I had lived only a few years before. She had promised to be my manager and help me become a successful psychic/medium. I had never met this woman and was not completely sure that going to meet her would help me but there was a nagging feeling that I should go visit her because if I didn't go I would never know. So I went, driving the two day trip to the mountains of Montana.
When I reached my destination I soon discovered that this woman was not what she seemed. She immediately wanted me to do readings for her and her family, specifically her very ill husband. When I gave the reading for him I suggested he see a doctor and he adamantly refused. The feeling I got when I read for him told me that I should be wary of him and I struggled to not run out of the place right then and there. I pushed the feeling away and stayed, feeling very much like I should not be there and did not belong.
I spent many hours in the mountain forests around the ranch house contemplating what I was feeling and why I was there. It was obvious that I was there to learn that I did not fit in with these people. They were selfish and materialistic and had too many secrets, secrets they withheld from me and whispered about when they thought I was not listening.
I stayed in their home for about a week, learning about them and their life and intentions. The woman and her husband had made a fortune as hypnotists, selling tapes of hypnosis for weight loss. Yet this woman was not trained in hypnosis and neither was her husband. They had raised their family and paid for the home and land with the money they made for their travels and seminars. The woman was very proud of her success but I felt it was a con or at least some part of it was. I did not want to be their next scheme and felt that was what they wanted.
I made my escape one morning just as the sun rose above the treeline. They were not awake yet and I left no note saying goodbye. I never looked back and I never heard from them again. Ultimately the trip to Montana taught me that my spiritual gifts were not meant to be used to accumulate wealth or status. I was not meant to be the next Sylvia Browne or John Edwards. At the time I grieved over the loss of a dream of fame and fortune but eventually it was accepted.
Link to Now
The memory of my trip to Montana in 2004 was not necessarily to warn me that I was there to learn the same lesson. In fact, the similarities were only in that I felt similar feelings of warning while on the plane to Florida as when I was traveling to Montana. When I arrived at my destination in Florida I felt similar feelings of not belonging. I felt I did not belong there. There was not a feeling that the people there were up to no good, just that it was not the place for me at this time.
The first night I could not sleep. Every time I tried to sleep I got this strong anxiety feeling in the center of my body (solar plexus). It would hit me suddenly and each time I felt it I felt horribly anxious and worried. Turns out, the next day is when it was revealed to me that I could not stay and that I should never have come. Being I had little sleep for two days in a row, the news hit me hard and I had a strong emotional reaction. I rejected everything and everyone who came into my path after I got the news and felt very mistreated and misunderstood.
Dreams Become Reality
Despite the negative experiences that seemed to repeat my past I did have some very interesting and positive experiences on the trip.
Tennessee
On the flight to Florida I got a familiar feeling that said something was about to happen. As I sat on the plane I heard the name Michael and seconds later a man sat down next to me. He immediately turned and held out his hand saying, "Hi! My name is Micheal". Strangely I was not surprised that I had heard his name just seconds before meeting him. I guess I am getting use to myself.
Micheal was a very friendly man and we talked the entire flight. He told me about his family, specifically his children. He was very proud of them and from him I learned that he was from Tennessee and on a business trip. The more we talked the more I was reminded of a recent dream I had. In the dream I was in an airport discussing a plan to fly to Tennessee. It seemed no coincidence that I was there on the plane talking to a man who was from Tennessee. He also seemed very familiar to me and I wondered later if he might be a member of my Soul Family.
Helga
When I made it to my destination I met a woman who was to become a person who was the bearer of bad news. She was also someone who was very familiar to me.
In a recent OBE I ran into three women. One of these women was a tall, German-looking woman with short, blonde hair. She was very uptight and strict and did not show much emotion except when I hugged her. I called her "Christina" in my dream though she appeared to be a "Helga", which to me is a typical German woman persona.
Well, I met the woman who I saw in my OBE. She fit her description to a T, though her name was neither Christina or Helga. I have no doubt it was the same woman and her message was the same - you do not belong here. She was also very rigid in her beliefs. When she discovered I could speak to people who had crossed over she was in disbelief. She reacted the same when she learned of my other spiritual gifts. While in her presence I felt invalidated, my very being was rejected by her. I will not go into detail about the entire sequence of events that occurred but I will say that I was happy to leave when I was finished being handled by her. I hope to never see "Helga" again.
Message of Love and Acceptance
The day I left to return home I left for the airport 4 hours before departure time. I actually changed the time I was to be picked up by the shuttle in order to arrive at the airport sooner. I just felt I needed to leave the hotel as soon as possible. So I did.
When I arrived at the airport I stopped at the curbside check-in. I was greeted by two very black, middle aged men with large smiles on their faces. They spoke with a heavy island accent but the feeling from them was of pure acceptance and love. I was instantly drawn to them both, feeling calmed by their mere presence. One joked that since I was so early that the other would have to sing a song to entertain me. I told them to sing, "Don't Worry, Be Happy". They never sang for me but it made us all smile.
I had to sit and wait for a bit since I was so early and could not yet check in. When it was time, one of the men came up to me with my boarding passes in hand. He reached out and grabbed my hand and held it in his own for a moment. I did not pull back but instead grabbed his hand back as if he were an old friend. His energy was so familiar and calming. He made me feel safe and loved by his very presence.
I remembered those two men for the remainder of my flight home and still think of them fondly as I write this. Though they did nothing more than check-in my bags, smile and treat me like family, it is what I needed at that time. It reminded me of my recent dream of being in the airport and how I clung to a man because he made me feel safe and loved. I never saw the man and assumed he was my guide. I believe these two men were guides to me at a much needed point in my journey. I thank them for their message.
Airplane
On my four trips on planes, two there and two back, I often sat in my seat and looked over the heads of the people sitting in front of me. I felt connected to them all and very much as if I had been there before. In each of these surreal moments the exit sign stood out to me. I even thought to take a picture of it as I sat in my seat on the final flight home. "Exit Salida" written in large, red letters over the wing exits on the plane seemed to be a message to me and I wondered on each flight if the plane would suddenly drop out of the sky.
I watched the paneling that made up the interior of the plane and was reminded of an OBE I had long ago where I was taken inside this ship which was made of panels that created a circular, donut shape. I wondered if it was made of the same material? Were these the predecessors of the panels I encountered in my OBE?
But the planes never fell out of the sky and I made it home safely. It is as if the Exit sign was there to give me a choice - stay or go. I guess I chose to stay.
When I got home I was never more happy to be home in my life. My husband greeted me warmly and then took me to a surprise "belated anniversary" dinner at a very high class restaurant. We dined on an 18 inch lobster tail and toasted to another 7 years of marriage. All the upset from my trip melted away and I was filled with love for my family. I missed my husband and my children so much in the few days I was gone and being there with him filled my heart with joy.
What's Next?
I am now wondering what comes next. I have options still and am considering them. I have not given up on my goal to attain Clear and though I could not stay in Florida it does not mean I cannot achieve my goal through other means. Yet all I want to do is sleep and relax right now. I am tired and need to regain my energy.
I have learned that I am loved and supported by my family. My husband came to my aid and showed me that he would support me no matter what. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law are doing the same. So are the other members of my extended family. They will not give up on me and want me to reach my goals. I had doubts that my own husband believed in me and my spiritual abilities. I do not doubt that now. He helped me understand that this journey I am on will be supported by him and others like him/me. We are here to support one another despite barriers or group inconsistencies. I am one lucky woman.
Rather than dwell on the negative aspects of what happened, I want to recount some experiences I had that were powerful, positive examples of the spiritual love and support that exists all around us. Although I was not accompanied by any of my family on this trip, I felt surrounded by family throughout my journey, especially during my actual travel by plane from airport to airport.
Connection to the Past
The day I left my home I experienced some very strange pangs of anxiety that were familiar to me. In fact,
when I felt them I had a complete recollection of a similar time in my life when I was taking a similar leap of faith into places unknown.
2004
During this time in my life I was feeling very lost and had been searching for a way to use my spiritual gifts in a more expansive way. I had connected with a woman in Montana who owned a ranch hidden in a valley close to where I had lived only a few years before. She had promised to be my manager and help me become a successful psychic/medium. I had never met this woman and was not completely sure that going to meet her would help me but there was a nagging feeling that I should go visit her because if I didn't go I would never know. So I went, driving the two day trip to the mountains of Montana. When I reached my destination I soon discovered that this woman was not what she seemed. She immediately wanted me to do readings for her and her family, specifically her very ill husband. When I gave the reading for him I suggested he see a doctor and he adamantly refused. The feeling I got when I read for him told me that I should be wary of him and I struggled to not run out of the place right then and there. I pushed the feeling away and stayed, feeling very much like I should not be there and did not belong.
I spent many hours in the mountain forests around the ranch house contemplating what I was feeling and why I was there. It was obvious that I was there to learn that I did not fit in with these people. They were selfish and materialistic and had too many secrets, secrets they withheld from me and whispered about when they thought I was not listening.
I stayed in their home for about a week, learning about them and their life and intentions. The woman and her husband had made a fortune as hypnotists, selling tapes of hypnosis for weight loss. Yet this woman was not trained in hypnosis and neither was her husband. They had raised their family and paid for the home and land with the money they made for their travels and seminars. The woman was very proud of her success but I felt it was a con or at least some part of it was. I did not want to be their next scheme and felt that was what they wanted.
I made my escape one morning just as the sun rose above the treeline. They were not awake yet and I left no note saying goodbye. I never looked back and I never heard from them again. Ultimately the trip to Montana taught me that my spiritual gifts were not meant to be used to accumulate wealth or status. I was not meant to be the next Sylvia Browne or John Edwards. At the time I grieved over the loss of a dream of fame and fortune but eventually it was accepted.
Link to Now
The memory of my trip to Montana in 2004 was not necessarily to warn me that I was there to learn the same lesson. In fact, the similarities were only in that I felt similar feelings of warning while on the plane to Florida as when I was traveling to Montana. When I arrived at my destination in Florida I felt similar feelings of not belonging. I felt I did not belong there. There was not a feeling that the people there were up to no good, just that it was not the place for me at this time.
The first night I could not sleep. Every time I tried to sleep I got this strong anxiety feeling in the center of my body (solar plexus). It would hit me suddenly and each time I felt it I felt horribly anxious and worried. Turns out, the next day is when it was revealed to me that I could not stay and that I should never have come. Being I had little sleep for two days in a row, the news hit me hard and I had a strong emotional reaction. I rejected everything and everyone who came into my path after I got the news and felt very mistreated and misunderstood.
Despite the negative experiences that seemed to repeat my past I did have some very interesting and positive experiences on the trip.
Tennessee
On the flight to Florida I got a familiar feeling that said something was about to happen. As I sat on the plane I heard the name Michael and seconds later a man sat down next to me. He immediately turned and held out his hand saying, "Hi! My name is Micheal". Strangely I was not surprised that I had heard his name just seconds before meeting him. I guess I am getting use to myself.
Micheal was a very friendly man and we talked the entire flight. He told me about his family, specifically his children. He was very proud of them and from him I learned that he was from Tennessee and on a business trip. The more we talked the more I was reminded of a recent dream I had. In the dream I was in an airport discussing a plan to fly to Tennessee. It seemed no coincidence that I was there on the plane talking to a man who was from Tennessee. He also seemed very familiar to me and I wondered later if he might be a member of my Soul Family.
Helga
When I made it to my destination I met a woman who was to become a person who was the bearer of bad news. She was also someone who was very familiar to me.
In a recent OBE I ran into three women. One of these women was a tall, German-looking woman with short, blonde hair. She was very uptight and strict and did not show much emotion except when I hugged her. I called her "Christina" in my dream though she appeared to be a "Helga", which to me is a typical German woman persona.
Well, I met the woman who I saw in my OBE. She fit her description to a T, though her name was neither Christina or Helga. I have no doubt it was the same woman and her message was the same - you do not belong here. She was also very rigid in her beliefs. When she discovered I could speak to people who had crossed over she was in disbelief. She reacted the same when she learned of my other spiritual gifts. While in her presence I felt invalidated, my very being was rejected by her. I will not go into detail about the entire sequence of events that occurred but I will say that I was happy to leave when I was finished being handled by her. I hope to never see "Helga" again.
The day I left to return home I left for the airport 4 hours before departure time. I actually changed the time I was to be picked up by the shuttle in order to arrive at the airport sooner. I just felt I needed to leave the hotel as soon as possible. So I did.
When I arrived at the airport I stopped at the curbside check-in. I was greeted by two very black, middle aged men with large smiles on their faces. They spoke with a heavy island accent but the feeling from them was of pure acceptance and love. I was instantly drawn to them both, feeling calmed by their mere presence. One joked that since I was so early that the other would have to sing a song to entertain me. I told them to sing, "Don't Worry, Be Happy". They never sang for me but it made us all smile.
I had to sit and wait for a bit since I was so early and could not yet check in. When it was time, one of the men came up to me with my boarding passes in hand. He reached out and grabbed my hand and held it in his own for a moment. I did not pull back but instead grabbed his hand back as if he were an old friend. His energy was so familiar and calming. He made me feel safe and loved by his very presence.
I remembered those two men for the remainder of my flight home and still think of them fondly as I write this. Though they did nothing more than check-in my bags, smile and treat me like family, it is what I needed at that time. It reminded me of my recent dream of being in the airport and how I clung to a man because he made me feel safe and loved. I never saw the man and assumed he was my guide. I believe these two men were guides to me at a much needed point in my journey. I thank them for their message.
Airplane
I watched the paneling that made up the interior of the plane and was reminded of an OBE I had long ago where I was taken inside this ship which was made of panels that created a circular, donut shape. I wondered if it was made of the same material? Were these the predecessors of the panels I encountered in my OBE?
But the planes never fell out of the sky and I made it home safely. It is as if the Exit sign was there to give me a choice - stay or go. I guess I chose to stay.
When I got home I was never more happy to be home in my life. My husband greeted me warmly and then took me to a surprise "belated anniversary" dinner at a very high class restaurant. We dined on an 18 inch lobster tail and toasted to another 7 years of marriage. All the upset from my trip melted away and I was filled with love for my family. I missed my husband and my children so much in the few days I was gone and being there with him filled my heart with joy.
What's Next?
I am now wondering what comes next. I have options still and am considering them. I have not given up on my goal to attain Clear and though I could not stay in Florida it does not mean I cannot achieve my goal through other means. Yet all I want to do is sleep and relax right now. I am tired and need to regain my energy.
I have learned that I am loved and supported by my family. My husband came to my aid and showed me that he would support me no matter what. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law are doing the same. So are the other members of my extended family. They will not give up on me and want me to reach my goals. I had doubts that my own husband believed in me and my spiritual abilities. I do not doubt that now. He helped me understand that this journey I am on will be supported by him and others like him/me. We are here to support one another despite barriers or group inconsistencies. I am one lucky woman.
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