Dream: Griffin Attack

Yesterday was my birthday. In line with my daily stepping outside of my comfort zone, I hesitantly agreed to a birthday party celebration. Usually I play down my birthday and avoid any celebrating at all because, well, the getting older part is not as fun as it use to be. lol In all the time I've been married (10 yrs this November) I've only agreed to small family celebrations if any at all to include my mom and my immediate family. Last year I did absolutely nothing to celebrate.

This was still a family celebration but it included all of my husband's family as well as my own and so it was quite a large group. My brother and SIL who just moved to Texas hosted the party so I didn't have any cleaning up afterward. Then they allowed my two oldest to spend the night there. :)

All in all I had a good time and the kids really enjoyed themselves.

Messages and Dreams

Spiritually all has been pretty quiet. My sleep is better, though still interrupted, and my dreams are becoming more memorable but often times still fade quickly upon waking.

Generally, the month of August tends to be a quiet one for me spiritually speaking. My OBEs and profound spiritual experiences drop off considerably and usually I feel unsettled and out of sorts most of the month. I highly doubt this year will be any different based upon how I feel just 5 days in.

So far this month there is a general unsettled feeling following me around. The messages coming through in dreamtime indicate that this spiritual break is a long one and the best way for me to manage it is to jump full-on into the mundane. I am trying but obviously I am not doing enough because the feeling of restless boredom finds me time and time again. Lately the push coming from within is to get a job but nothing quite feels right. I am looking but not getting anywhere. Nothing is calling to me, nothing is interesting, everything I consider feels tedious and pointless.

I have long struggled with the issue of having too much time on my hands. I am a busybody by nature. Lately, though, the feeling is different. It's a feeling like I need to make the time I have left count for something. Just keeping busy isn't going to be enough, at least that is what I am coming to realize. The impact needed comes from connecting with others in person and passing on what I've learned in some way. So getting active and spending time with my family, while it is better than nothing, is not going to cut it. Socializing, interacting and exchanging with others outside my family group is being encouraged. This is just not something I aspire to do. I like my alone time more than most I think. But I understand being alone is my "safe" place. Being with others puts me out there, opens me up to being hurt and generally causes upset on my part. I have come to the conclusion that people, in general, suck. It's hard to get beyond such a consideration.

In a dream last night I was talking with a fellow astral traveler who has gotten so good at going OOB that he has been projecting every night. I was at his house talking to him about his success and asking him what it was like. He was downplaying it, saying it was no big deal and somehow the conversation turned into a discussion about the purpose of astral travel. In the end advice was given to me suggesting that I stop using the spiritual as a means of escaping life, at least that was the general feel of the discussion when I woke up. I understood upon waking that I was being told this time (this "break") was to give me a chance to use what I've learned and apply it to the life experience. Life is the adventure, if I allow myself to fully experience it.

When I finally rolled reluctantly out of bed I was thinking, "It has all been a big, fat lie. All of it." It felt like I was being punished. I hate that feeling but it is a real one regardless. Punished by being here on this planet and seemingly forced to live by it's rules. Yet it is the resistance I have to living here that seems to be the whole point. They (whoever "they" are) want me to love living as much as I love astral travel and the spiritually profound experiences I've had. They want me to be as excited about life as I am about the spiritual. This is super hard for me and I am very resistant to the point of feeling like a punished and resentful child. And now, after the experiences I had in 2016, life feels even more empty and pointless. I just don't see how "they" expect me to love life after that. It has only made me more avoidant of living. Nothing in life compares or comes close to that feeling. And now that it is gone I feel even more dead than I did before. Yet somehow I am suppose to find that feeling within myself and then miraculously life will come back into me as will my love of life? Right. Ha!

Dream: Griffin Attack

I had a vivid dream about being in a house after something terrible had happened in the world. I was with my family and we were inside looking out and worried about invaders. It seemed like the world had gone into total chaos. All government was gone and what one had could only be kept by defending it or keeping it hidden. We were packing up the things we were going to take with us and leaving the rest behind. Staying in our home in the suburbs was not a good option anymore. There were too many people, too many eyes and too much of a threat of attack.

I recall going through my things and paper (need for a fresh start in life) was a big deal. Notebooks, copy paper, lined paper, etc - all of it was needed where we would be going for some reason. I also remember opting to take drawings done by my son for sentimental reasons.

In looking in the fridge I remember we had ample supplies but were lacking fresh and frozen veggies. I found some frozen heads of broccoli (need for spiritual nourishment) in the freezer but that was it. We would have to leave the cold and frozen stuff behind when we left, though.

We watched out the windows often on the lookout for people who weren't to be trusted. Neighbors came by but we knew them and didn't feel threatened. However, we still left early in the morning. I recall taking a backpack (decisions/responsibilities that weight me down) and going outside and sliding down a hill toward a dirt road below. I let my son go before me to make sure he would make it down okay.

As we traveled the path beneath us turned into a vividly colored map (path of self-knowledge). I remember looking down and seeing New Mexico (new outlook on family/tradition) and choosing a path that would take us south to Mexico. We stopped and took a break deciding on a spot to live before we made it to New Mexico. There I saw a dirt (aspects that are dirty, soiled) field that had been plowed by a large machine (growth/expansion). I got on it and turned it on and dug out several holes (subconscious) in the earth. We ended up walking down into one and somehow found ourselves in clear water (cleansing) that expanded into a large pool with metal poles throughout. It turned out to be a place where they made electricity (need to be revitalized). It was attached to a building and a small community of people lived there. They all had headsets on (in tune with intuition) and were communicating with others. I saw a dark haired woman and embraced her, deciding to stay because I felt connected to them and her especially.

Me and the woman walked through the compound. It had nets (feeling trapped) over all the openings/windows as if to keep something out like mosquitoes. The girl and I had decided to throw some round objects similar to eggs into the sky. It felt like we were sending out probes and that each object had a person inside. Some would make it and others wouldn't. We found a hole in the netting and I released several of these "eggs" into the sky. They exploded in a burst of smoke but out of them came monsters that came toward us, attacking the netting and trying to get inside. I recall calling them Griffins (positive aspects of change, duality, strength, courage) and running with the girl back toward the central part of the compound, shutting doors behind us to keep the beasts away.


When I awoke from this dream I thought, "This is the year I will die." What a way to wake up on one's birthday, huh? Who knows why I thought this but I wasn't upset by it. We'll see if there's any truth to it I guess.