Be happy with what you got
Last night I heard a female guide to my left. I even got a glimpse of blonde hair. I didn't pay much attention other than to notice she was there and to hear her comment. I was feeling very blessed last night and thinking, "I am very blessed" and she said, "You have a good life" and nodded. I agreed and went on to enjoy the evening think about how wonderful of a life I have.
For me to be in such a calm state is odd considering how hectic this week and last week have been. I don't know if Mercury is in retrograde or if I am just going through a transition period, but I have been very moody and negative about my life lately. It has been causing me to reevaluate everything and think about what it is that I would like to do next. Problem is, I am not really sure and even if I were, most of the things would be difficult to near impossible with two young children running around.
I realized that I have really gotten everything I want in life when I have asked for it. I know that our thoughts and desires really do manifest and I know to be careful of what I wish for. I have been very specific when I ask for things lately and in the recent past. It has worked. However, it is hard to manifest something when not exactly sure what it is you wish to manifest.
Somewhere in all my thinking I recognized just how good I am at manifesting. I specifically asked for the life I have and I got it! The husband, the house, the job, the children, the peace and tranquility of the country-side...the list goes on. It seems almost like there is nothing left to ask for. I feel as if I have it all! Unfortunately, when I get into feeling like I have it all, I get complacent and then after that I get restless. I need to have something to strive for or I am just down right bored. Boredom is boring!
I don't like being negative and grumpy but that is what boredom does to me. When I look at things I want to change in my life, my children come up as a consideration. It would be so much easier to make decisions on what I want if I were single! But my children come first. I thought of going back to school, but I just don't know if I could find the time or quiet to think and focus like I need to. It is 8pm or later before they go to bed each night and I go to bed usually at 9pm. It would mean staying up later to work on assignments and papers. I am not sure I have the energy for that now. I would like to do more readings, but the distractions are constant! It is almost impossible to find time to even sit and write this blog! So any future I choose to manifest will have to be something I can do now, while I have the distractions of mommy-hood.That doesn't leave much, really. In fact, I can't think of anything I can accomplish with the little to no free time I have now. It can be quite overwhelming and discouraging.
I had a dream the other night which I recognized as being my way of coping with the fact that right now may not be the best time for me to do anything really big with my life. I dreamed I returned to college but I got lost on the way. I ended up in a hotel with a family and was trying to be quiet so as to not wake their baby. There was even a baby ferret they had as a pet! I remember thinking that I was getting farther and farther from the buildings of the college I wanted to go to. I could see out the window and it was too far away for me to walk to. I felt very disappointed in the dream but when I awoke I knew it was me recognizing that there is a perfect time and place for things in life and right now it is the time to be a mother and raise my wonderful children and there is nothing wrong with that. I just sometimes feel like I am getting old and when I think of when I will have time to do some of the things I want to do, I will be well into my 40s and to me right now, that is a long way away and, well.... old!
Thinking too far ahead is not always good for me. I have to think of the future in little chunks. Sometimes I can handle looking years ahead but other times I need to look at months. Right now, I need to look only months ahead so as to not overwhelm myself with pessimism. That is just my way, though. I wish I could be more optimistic but I guess life has thrown me too many curve balls for me to see the glass as half full.
For me to be in such a calm state is odd considering how hectic this week and last week have been. I don't know if Mercury is in retrograde or if I am just going through a transition period, but I have been very moody and negative about my life lately. It has been causing me to reevaluate everything and think about what it is that I would like to do next. Problem is, I am not really sure and even if I were, most of the things would be difficult to near impossible with two young children running around.
I realized that I have really gotten everything I want in life when I have asked for it. I know that our thoughts and desires really do manifest and I know to be careful of what I wish for. I have been very specific when I ask for things lately and in the recent past. It has worked. However, it is hard to manifest something when not exactly sure what it is you wish to manifest.
Somewhere in all my thinking I recognized just how good I am at manifesting. I specifically asked for the life I have and I got it! The husband, the house, the job, the children, the peace and tranquility of the country-side...the list goes on. It seems almost like there is nothing left to ask for. I feel as if I have it all! Unfortunately, when I get into feeling like I have it all, I get complacent and then after that I get restless. I need to have something to strive for or I am just down right bored. Boredom is boring!
I don't like being negative and grumpy but that is what boredom does to me. When I look at things I want to change in my life, my children come up as a consideration. It would be so much easier to make decisions on what I want if I were single! But my children come first. I thought of going back to school, but I just don't know if I could find the time or quiet to think and focus like I need to. It is 8pm or later before they go to bed each night and I go to bed usually at 9pm. It would mean staying up later to work on assignments and papers. I am not sure I have the energy for that now. I would like to do more readings, but the distractions are constant! It is almost impossible to find time to even sit and write this blog! So any future I choose to manifest will have to be something I can do now, while I have the distractions of mommy-hood.That doesn't leave much, really. In fact, I can't think of anything I can accomplish with the little to no free time I have now. It can be quite overwhelming and discouraging.
I had a dream the other night which I recognized as being my way of coping with the fact that right now may not be the best time for me to do anything really big with my life. I dreamed I returned to college but I got lost on the way. I ended up in a hotel with a family and was trying to be quiet so as to not wake their baby. There was even a baby ferret they had as a pet! I remember thinking that I was getting farther and farther from the buildings of the college I wanted to go to. I could see out the window and it was too far away for me to walk to. I felt very disappointed in the dream but when I awoke I knew it was me recognizing that there is a perfect time and place for things in life and right now it is the time to be a mother and raise my wonderful children and there is nothing wrong with that. I just sometimes feel like I am getting old and when I think of when I will have time to do some of the things I want to do, I will be well into my 40s and to me right now, that is a long way away and, well.... old!
Thinking too far ahead is not always good for me. I have to think of the future in little chunks. Sometimes I can handle looking years ahead but other times I need to look at months. Right now, I need to look only months ahead so as to not overwhelm myself with pessimism. That is just my way, though. I wish I could be more optimistic but I guess life has thrown me too many curve balls for me to see the glass as half full.
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