Steven, where are you?

I can't find Steven.

Two nights ago I was outside sitting and taking in the cool breezes and silence and pondering over a strange feeling I have been having this week when I heard a voice say to me, "You are safe". The voice seemed to be coming from my left at first but when I focused on it more, it really just seemed to come from all around me. I was a bit worried because I thought it was a spirit just coming by to say hi and in the evenings I really prefer to have only my guides around me, it makes it simpler and less distracting. So I did as I usually do when I feel there may be more spirit around than I am comfortable with and said, "Only my guides and angels around me at this time". It always woks to say that. I again heard, "You are safe".

The feeling I have been having this week - a feeling that something is different and changing around me in the world or perhaps even closer to home - had me on edge as it was, and now hearing this new voice coming from seemingly all around me put me on alert. Who was this spirit? Where was Steven?

I asked for Steven. No answer. I looked for Steven on my right where he always tends to be. Nothing. What the heck? No wonder I am feeling things are not the same!

So I turned to my right, where I figured the voice was, but I couldn't feel the energy behind that voice in that one location. It seemed to be all around me, or maybe above me. It is hard to say. I tried to see the energy but had no success. The closest I could get to seeing was to know the energy was male.

I continued to look over the next couple of days. Maybe Steven would show himself and this strange male presence would be explained away as just a visiting spirit, not a replacement for Steven? But something told me that Steven was gone and, strangely enough, I was not upset; a bit sad perhaps but not upset. I knew the time would come where I would need guidance of a different sort. I guess that time has come.

I feel like all this change started around my birthday when the 12 came to visit and applaud me successfully making it to the age of 35. The voice that I am hearing now is familiar. It was the same voice that said to me, "Don't be afraid" when I saw the intensely white light and felt myself leaving my body.  It was the same voice I have heard countless times in my life during periods of change or transition. Of course, I always thought that voice was Steven's. But now I believe it is the voice of change. The voice of a guide who comes to help me with this change. What will that change be? I am not certain, but I believe it will be a spiritual change. Why do I believe this? Because, the times when I recall hearing that voice before, happened before major changes in my life occurred.

The first time I heard the voice it said, "Hold on". I heard it as I closed my eyes and held my breath. My car was rolling onto its top and I was terrified. But at the moment I heard the voice I felt calm and instantly gripped the wheel. In my mind the memory is in slow motion, but it all happened in only seconds. At the time, I thought the voice came from an angel. I did not look to find its source. I just knew it had come to reassure me that I would be okay. And I was okay.

That car accident was when I was 17 years old. Within a year's time I met my first husband and made some major life decisions, decisions that would shape who I am and prepare me for years of self-sacrifice and sadness. I call them my "dark years" because I have never felt so uncertain as I did then.

The next time I heard the voice was 9 years later. I was sleeping and awakened by a loud voice that said, "Get out now". I listened and within a week was on a plane back to Texas. This marked the beginning of more significant change in my life. Divorce from my first love, my first-ever teaching job, and my spontaneous spiritual awakening to my mediumship ability - all these things happened within 6 months of me hearing the voice.

So it seems to me that this voice is significant. Strangely enough, it has again been 9 years since I heard the voice tell me to "Get out now". 9 years and in those years so much change, so many good things and so many lessons learned. I hope that this time it brings with it positive change, like the last time I heard it. I specifically hope it brings about another spiritual awakening, one that brings me one step closer to answering the many questions my last awakening gave me.

So I say to this new guide (or guides as I believe there is more than one), "Hello. Nice to see you again. I am ready for whatever is to come and I am pleased to have your help once again. And this time I feel more confident than ever that I can handle these changes". Tomorrow is another day and I feel secure in knowing that my life is full of possibility and potential and that truly it will be whatever I make it.