Change is Coming

Change is inevitable. Nothing stays the same for very long. In just a couple of weeks I will be back at work and my brief time at home with my baby and toddler will be over. And yet there is so much more change to look forward to. Yes - look forward to. Change is often thought of as a negative thing, at least by me, especially if it is not manifested, wanted or is unexpected. But my outlook on change is changing.

Recent Events

Marriage

Since I last wrote in this blog, so much has happened. My mother was married in her back yard in a small, informal ceremony. 50 or so family and friends came to celebrate the union of two people who had long been apart only to be reunited in marriage almost 50 years later. I, for some reason, was not overly excited about the union but very happy that my mother found her long lost love and will not be alone in her golden years. Call it the curse of foresight, but I know all the well that her happy time will be brief, but then again it will be a good time full of joy, peace, healing and love. After a lifetime of turmoil and broken relationships even a short period is better than nothing.

Decline

The morning after my mother's marriage, during the honeymoon in fact, my grandmother fell in her home and was rushed to the emergency room by ambulance. She fell twice. The first time the ambulance was called and my grandmother refused to go to the hospital. The second time she fell she thought she broke her arm and so went to the hospital. Turns out she dislocated her shoulder and bumped her head badly resulting in bleeding under her scalp and a concussion. My mother, who had not had much time to enjoy her honeymoon, rushed home to get things in order. When she arrived at the hospital it was obvious that my grandmother could not go back to her home because she would not be able to take care of herself. So my mother, the newlywed, took her into her home. The next morning, however, my grandmother began to complain of a headache, groin pain and numb legs so she ended up back in the hospital again. My mother and her new husband had tried to take care of her but could not lift her or help her to the bathroom or even reposition her to help ease her symptoms. My mother, exhausted, accepted the fact that her mother would need better care. She has been visiting nursing homes since and my grandmother is in the hospital for observation.

Eviction

I have not written about my sister and her drama in a long time. The main reason I don't write about her is because I have moved past whatever issues I had with her and her choices. I also knew that her time living near me was coming to an end. I was told months ago that April would be the end. Turns out, my grandmother, with help from two of her children and the Sheriff, was able to get the eviction process started. When my cousin (my sister's husband) realized it was inevitable that he was going to have to move, he began the process of leaving, though he was intent on making it difficult and caused all kinds of problems for others along the way. They began the moving process the day of my Mom's wedding and are still moving out. They found a house to rent that did not do background checks and rented it, for $800 a month. Considering they cannot make payments to my grandmother of $250 a month, we all suspect they will be evicted from this new place as well. With my grandmother in the hospital and likely going to a nursing home, her house and land will either be sold or rented to someone by her children and so the chances of my sister and her husband getting back into the rental house is very unlikely.

Abundance

Meanwhile, in my own life, things are taking a turn for the better, though they haven't yet "taken off" like I feel they will in the near future. My husband and I are indeed putting the house on the market. I have not change my mind about the decision, which surprises me. The realtor will be coming out this week to talk with us and take pictures. We have decided on a price already and the realtor actually insisted we list it for quite a bit more. We will be selling all of the land with the house, so there will be nothing left to come back to when it sells. I also was told (more of a knowingness than actual message) that something will happen in regard to the house selling within 8 days of us listing it. Could be we get an offer or we sell it. We'll see.

In addition to the house being put on the market, my husband has been doing exceptionally well in his job. The market has improved and his bonuses are increasing to the level at which they were when I met him. This means a potential increase in his salary by tens of thousands of dollars a year. He is confident that this year will be his biggest yet and the money is already coming in.

Another form of abundance I am experiencing is the abundance of love and joy that comes with being with my children. Though my days begin at 6am and often do not end until 8pm or later, are filled with continuous activity, and often end with me exhausted, I am finding it very fulfilling in a way that my other jobs have not been. I have enough time for myself in the day to rest and heal which gives me the energy to spend time with my husband in the evenings. This new routine has helped me recognize that staying home with my children will not be as unfulfilling as I once thought.

Decisions

With all the changes going on around me right now and the messages I have been receiving from my guides, I am certain things are lining up for another big moment in my life similar to the one when I met my husband. Before I met my husband I had an epiphany - my beliefs were restricting my life. Specifically, I held the belief that life happens in a certain order - meet someone, fall in love, get married, build/buy a house and have babies. I decided to throw out that belief and build my house and it began a string of events that led to the life I wanted for myself, just in a different order. My dreams and my waking life have me considering tossing out everything I believe about money and going a different direction in life. Every day I am more confident that I can overcome my fear and make some much needed changes in my life. Already I am following through with some difficult decisions. I am unsure right now if I will go back to work in two weeks but I am certain that even if I do go back I won't be there long. What I will do afterward is not clear yet, but I am not as afraid as I have been. In fact, the whole situation is quite freeing.