My Theory
Yesterday was the big anatomy ultrasound. My husband joined me and we got to watch an hours of our baby. He was moving around the entire time and even flipped completely over two times! The results of the ultrasound were good. The doctor said we had a healthy, and good looking baby and that he did not see anything indicating any chromosomal abnormalities! He also said the baby was measuring ahead by almost a week and said the due date looked to be more around April 5th than April 9th. The baby weighed in at 10oz, which is well above average for an 18 week old fetus.
So I am relieved that all turned out okay. The anxiety I have had since the beginning of this pregnancy is finally subsiding and being replaced with awe. I still am coming to terms with the fact that I am pregnant again. I really, truly did not think I would have a third child. It just never was in my realm of reality. Since the age of 17 I have know that I would have two children - first a girl and then a boy. I also knew that I would meet their father far in the future (at the time I just knew I would be "old"). I had my daughter's name picked out when I was dating my ex-husband and her middle name picked out 5 years before she was born and four years before I met her father. All of this "knowingness" occurred before my spiritual awakening, by the way. All of it was just intuition and shrugged off by me as a "dream" or "imagination".
But through all of this, the idea of having a third child was alien to me. Yet, it was there, in the back of my mind, from the moment I had my son and found myself so exhilarated by his birth and the miracle of him. I adored him and was full of so much love and happiness that I wanted ten more babies! lol Now I laugh, but I am so grateful to have had that experience and a part of me rejoices at the chance to have it all over again.
When people and family members asked me, "Will you try for another" I usually answered, "No" and sometimes, "Maybe". Yet I always added, "If I do, I know it will be another boy". That just makes me laugh out loud because even though I would not allow myself to consider the possibility, I already knew it was one and that there would be another little boy added to our family.
These experiences I have had in knowing about my future family and relationships, yet also not knowing, proves to me that my theory about the future and how it comes to be is correct.
My Theory
The future is something that exists only in the physical realms. I don't know if you knew that, but it is in fact the truth. As Spirit, we do not exist in time, we are are infinite beings who can be anywhere and any "time" we choose. The physical world is ever changing and as a result of this change, there exists time. If you think about it, time is what makes the physical so challenging to us. Because of it we are forced to wait. Because of it, we are forced to die, to degenerate and become old and feeble. It also allows us to grow, to learn, to experience change moment by moment. It is exhilarating and scary. It forces us to be finite, to be effected and to be the effect.
You may wonder, "But don't we experience change as spiritual beings". Yes, but we do it through time. And where does time exist? But in those realities of the physical planes (there are other planes as well but we won't go into that). Think of it this way - we learn through change and change exists in the presence of time.
The future is both a result of the present and the past. So, in essence it is us being effected by the physical world around us. We come into our body with a plan, so we attempt to control that which has yet to be but is already. Think of it this way - we exist in both planes of reality - the physical and spiritual - at the same time. So we are both being the effect and acting as the effect at the same time. Thus, we have predetermined our future but at the same time we are choosing, via our physical experience and time, to create and change (effect) our reality as we go along.
That is what we do in our dreams and on the astral planes. We choose, we reflect upon our progress and we decide whether to stay the course (the one we planned ahead of entering the body) or to tweak it. Most of the time we stay on a predetermined path - it keeps things simpler and more predictable for us which, is a good thing, since we live in such an unpredictable (or so it seems) world. But there are so many variations that we can choose, and we do this every day, every night, all the time.
So my third child was always a possibility. However, in my predetermined path he was not 100% decided upon. I gave myself the choice, to be chosen at a given time in my life. My other two children were determined ahead of time and set as a choice in my teenage years. I agreed in my physical body to that which I had preplanned in my spiritual body. The two aspects of myself jointly decided, one of them experiencing time, the other not.
So if you aren't already thoroughly confused, you are lucky. Most of this came from a part of myself that I am in awe of. I will have to re-read what I just wrote over and over and will still likely feel something is not right.
Ultimately my theory is that our lives are both predetermined (fate) and decided upon (choice) at the same time. Most (not all) will have a very obvious path with predestined points along it. This is what I see as a psychic and what helps me help people who feel they need guidance. I can even see the "choices" they will be faced with, if they predetermined them or if, in their current state, those choices are already being considered. However, I am limited by what the individual preplanned or is currently experiencing. There always exists the element of choice and that change can only be predicted by the individual themselves.
Behind-the-Scenes
When I find myself in astral (or in an Out-of-body experience) I feel like I have been given a glimpse of what goes on "behind the scenes" of my life. I learned early on just how easy it was to manifest my reality within the astral realms and thoroughly enjoyed getting what I wanted and the exact moment I wanted it. It was so freeing and natural! It showed me my potential and gave me the ability to test different realities and choices. In my early years of astral travel I was being taught about my potential, how to create/manifest, and the effects of my emotions upon my experience. I was lucky enough to be given a glimpse of what goes on when I am not fully immersed in the physical (asleep).
Though my astral travels lessened as my focus became more and more on the physical experiences, it did not cease to exist, it just went on subconsciously. More of my energy went into my goals and intentions on the physical plane and so left little energy for the transition into astral. Yet, I still have powerful dreams and visions and my guides visit me often, passing on pieces of information to help me remember.
I remember sensing Spirit around me around the time I conceived. I remember having dreams where I discussed the future of my children and the possibility of being pregnant. I remember dreaming of my own baby and of others having babies. I woke up crying and so full of joy for the experience. Yet part of me rejected it because it was so not part of my current reality.
My dream experiences, a shadow only of my out-of-body experiences, very obviously revealed how I came to the conclusion to have another baby. Perhaps I was approached by my unborn child and presented with a proposition that I be his mother (I believe this to be true as it feels true). Perhaps he was not yet certain of his desires to be in this life when I was planning my own life? Or he was still in the planning stages of his own, not yet decided upon the exact body he would be taking? Or, maybe he just needed to see the choices I made in my own life before he agreed to be a part of it? There could be a million reasons why we all chose this path (all meaning so many people even I do not know of them all). The weeks leading up to the conception of this child were indeed a planning period and I made a decision. All I can do now is trust that decision. Who knows, I may be helping an amazing individual learn a very important lesson? That is most likely.
So I am relieved that all turned out okay. The anxiety I have had since the beginning of this pregnancy is finally subsiding and being replaced with awe. I still am coming to terms with the fact that I am pregnant again. I really, truly did not think I would have a third child. It just never was in my realm of reality. Since the age of 17 I have know that I would have two children - first a girl and then a boy. I also knew that I would meet their father far in the future (at the time I just knew I would be "old"). I had my daughter's name picked out when I was dating my ex-husband and her middle name picked out 5 years before she was born and four years before I met her father. All of this "knowingness" occurred before my spiritual awakening, by the way. All of it was just intuition and shrugged off by me as a "dream" or "imagination".
But through all of this, the idea of having a third child was alien to me. Yet, it was there, in the back of my mind, from the moment I had my son and found myself so exhilarated by his birth and the miracle of him. I adored him and was full of so much love and happiness that I wanted ten more babies! lol Now I laugh, but I am so grateful to have had that experience and a part of me rejoices at the chance to have it all over again.
When people and family members asked me, "Will you try for another" I usually answered, "No" and sometimes, "Maybe". Yet I always added, "If I do, I know it will be another boy". That just makes me laugh out loud because even though I would not allow myself to consider the possibility, I already knew it was one and that there would be another little boy added to our family.
These experiences I have had in knowing about my future family and relationships, yet also not knowing, proves to me that my theory about the future and how it comes to be is correct.
My Theory
The future is something that exists only in the physical realms. I don't know if you knew that, but it is in fact the truth. As Spirit, we do not exist in time, we are are infinite beings who can be anywhere and any "time" we choose. The physical world is ever changing and as a result of this change, there exists time. If you think about it, time is what makes the physical so challenging to us. Because of it we are forced to wait. Because of it, we are forced to die, to degenerate and become old and feeble. It also allows us to grow, to learn, to experience change moment by moment. It is exhilarating and scary. It forces us to be finite, to be effected and to be the effect.
You may wonder, "But don't we experience change as spiritual beings". Yes, but we do it through time. And where does time exist? But in those realities of the physical planes (there are other planes as well but we won't go into that). Think of it this way - we learn through change and change exists in the presence of time.
The future is both a result of the present and the past. So, in essence it is us being effected by the physical world around us. We come into our body with a plan, so we attempt to control that which has yet to be but is already. Think of it this way - we exist in both planes of reality - the physical and spiritual - at the same time. So we are both being the effect and acting as the effect at the same time. Thus, we have predetermined our future but at the same time we are choosing, via our physical experience and time, to create and change (effect) our reality as we go along.
That is what we do in our dreams and on the astral planes. We choose, we reflect upon our progress and we decide whether to stay the course (the one we planned ahead of entering the body) or to tweak it. Most of the time we stay on a predetermined path - it keeps things simpler and more predictable for us which, is a good thing, since we live in such an unpredictable (or so it seems) world. But there are so many variations that we can choose, and we do this every day, every night, all the time.
So my third child was always a possibility. However, in my predetermined path he was not 100% decided upon. I gave myself the choice, to be chosen at a given time in my life. My other two children were determined ahead of time and set as a choice in my teenage years. I agreed in my physical body to that which I had preplanned in my spiritual body. The two aspects of myself jointly decided, one of them experiencing time, the other not.
So if you aren't already thoroughly confused, you are lucky. Most of this came from a part of myself that I am in awe of. I will have to re-read what I just wrote over and over and will still likely feel something is not right.
Ultimately my theory is that our lives are both predetermined (fate) and decided upon (choice) at the same time. Most (not all) will have a very obvious path with predestined points along it. This is what I see as a psychic and what helps me help people who feel they need guidance. I can even see the "choices" they will be faced with, if they predetermined them or if, in their current state, those choices are already being considered. However, I am limited by what the individual preplanned or is currently experiencing. There always exists the element of choice and that change can only be predicted by the individual themselves.
Behind-the-Scenes
When I find myself in astral (or in an Out-of-body experience) I feel like I have been given a glimpse of what goes on "behind the scenes" of my life. I learned early on just how easy it was to manifest my reality within the astral realms and thoroughly enjoyed getting what I wanted and the exact moment I wanted it. It was so freeing and natural! It showed me my potential and gave me the ability to test different realities and choices. In my early years of astral travel I was being taught about my potential, how to create/manifest, and the effects of my emotions upon my experience. I was lucky enough to be given a glimpse of what goes on when I am not fully immersed in the physical (asleep).
Though my astral travels lessened as my focus became more and more on the physical experiences, it did not cease to exist, it just went on subconsciously. More of my energy went into my goals and intentions on the physical plane and so left little energy for the transition into astral. Yet, I still have powerful dreams and visions and my guides visit me often, passing on pieces of information to help me remember.
I remember sensing Spirit around me around the time I conceived. I remember having dreams where I discussed the future of my children and the possibility of being pregnant. I remember dreaming of my own baby and of others having babies. I woke up crying and so full of joy for the experience. Yet part of me rejected it because it was so not part of my current reality.
My dream experiences, a shadow only of my out-of-body experiences, very obviously revealed how I came to the conclusion to have another baby. Perhaps I was approached by my unborn child and presented with a proposition that I be his mother (I believe this to be true as it feels true). Perhaps he was not yet certain of his desires to be in this life when I was planning my own life? Or he was still in the planning stages of his own, not yet decided upon the exact body he would be taking? Or, maybe he just needed to see the choices I made in my own life before he agreed to be a part of it? There could be a million reasons why we all chose this path (all meaning so many people even I do not know of them all). The weeks leading up to the conception of this child were indeed a planning period and I made a decision. All I can do now is trust that decision. Who knows, I may be helping an amazing individual learn a very important lesson? That is most likely.
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