Anticipation
For the past few days I have been having this feeling of anticipation when I wake in the morning. It feels like I am waiting for something to happen. It is a good feeling, overall. For example, when I go to work in the morning I want to rush up to the people I work with and tell them the good news. Problem is, what good news? I have no idea what good news I am feeling like telling them, yet I feel like I want to tell them something. It is as if there is a welling up from inside me of this amazing, happy, celebratory feeling. Yet, nothing is going on right now really that suggests I should have such a feeling. It is an odd but welcomed feeling. I feel like I did when I was a child and each new day felt as if something wonderful would happen.
Death
I know, it is strange for me to go from talking about feeling wonderful to the topic of death, but it something that has happened recently to friends of our family. My husband came home earlier this week and announce that a friend of ours and an in-law of my husband's brother passed away unexpectedly over the weekend. It was a shock to me and I felt sad for the man's family. My husband told me, "I am jealous". Strangely, that is something I would have said so it surprised me that my husband said it. Seems it is true that married folk tend to become more and more like another as the years go by.
That same day my husband told me that his boss, and his brother's father-in-law (the same brother), was in the hospital on a ventilator and near death. My husband, knowing I can perceive the future, asked me what I saw. I laughed (I know not funny) because when he first told me of his boss's illness I had told him that his heart would give out. Now, my husband was telling me that the stress on his boss' heart may be too much and then asking me what I saw. I first told him to remember what I said to him after meeting his boss for the first time. I had seen a black area over his chest and told him that I worried his heart was in danger. At this time my husband got very upset with me to the point that I told him I would not tell him anything future related about his boss again. He responded that it was okay. I then said, "Are you sure you want to know?" He said, "Yes". So then I told him what I thought, that his boss was tough and would hang in there for a while but reminded him again that I saw that his heart would fail at some point; that what I saw in his aura said it all. This upset my husband and so I just told him to focus on the time he had with him now. Thank goodness my husband was not upset by this.
Still today his boss hangs in there. The family will likely take him off the ventilator to see how he responds. My husband is very worried and here I am feeling this anticipation feeling, as if there is good news coming. I feel a bit guilty for it.
Good News?
As I try to figure out what the good news is, a few things come to mind. One, I got news recently that my sister and our cousin, who is now her husband, have been given an eviction notice to be out of my grandmother's rental house by November 1st. Now, I don't know if this will last being my grandmother changes her mind so frequently, but the news made me hopeful that they would in fact leave and that I would not have their influence so close to my family. If it does go through then I will finally feel like my family is handling things appropriately. This would indeed be a cause for celebration.
Another thing it could be is that I am about to get a job offer. I recently had an interview on Wednesday and have yet to hear whether I got the job or not. The feeling of anticipation has been with me since the day after the interview.
The final thing it could be is that perhaps there is some kind of spiritual change occurring that could be bringing on this feeling. I have been having dreams that suggest change is coming and I have gained a guide. This option does not feel as likely to me to be the source, but it is a possibility.
Dreams
My dreams have been very vivid lately. There are odd parts of the dreams that have stayed with me and the symbolism is interesting and applicable to my life.
Broken Refrigerator
In one dream I was in a house with a man and we were discussing the refrigerator. It had broken and he took it to the shop. He said the repair man came and got it. I asked what happened to our food and he said it was still in the fridge. I then got concerned and reminded him the food would be spoiled. He said the repairman had filled the fridge with dry rice as cushioning to keep the food containers from breaking. It didn't make sense but I let it go and began talking about getting an new fridge. When the man left I noticed a ring of yellow gunk where the fridge had been. So I got out a mop and cleaned it up. I remember hearing from someone that this was a good thing.
Broken Refrigerator - Suggests the need to warm up to someone or some situation and let go of harsh feelings toward them or it.
Rice - Symbolizes success, prosperity, luck, fertility and warm friendships.
Cleaning - Removing life's negativity and overcoming obstacles; moving into a new stage of life.
Free Money
In this dream I was on a street with my husband and my son. We were walking along and talking, though I can't remember what about. At the time there were two female peacocks wandering around. I was thrilled to see them and pointed them out to my husband. He ran to catch one and I told him how to hold the big bird so he didn't get pecked. He caught one and then let her go. She ran around and I watch as she left.
As we continued walking I noticed that I was pushing a stroller but my son, who is 2 years old in real life, was small and in the stroller. Then I looked up and this man, who was wearing a number and running as if in a race, came by me. He thrust out his hand which had wads of money in it. I said, "For me?" and he said, "If you want it". I thought for a second and then took the money, shocked that I was getting free money. Then another runner came and did the same thing. I took his money also. Then a third runner came and offered me money. I hesitated again, thinking this must be a joke and looked for cameras, but eventually took the money. I showed the wad of money to my husband. I could see $1s, $5s, $10s and $20s in the wad. It was a lot of money.
At this point I was given a photo album. It was lost and very old. I looked inside and saw photo IDs of people who looked like my family members. One woman even looked like me. To the far right was a photo of a man who had two sets of eyes, one set above the other. I was shocked by this. I was told the photo album had belongs to a famous medium and he was the one with two sets of eyes. In the album I saw a building in Los Angeles I recognized. It had a single, white box with a letter in the middle of it. I want to say the letter "r".
I decided to go to the building and investigate. When I got there I ran into a man who was the medium but very old. A woman, his guide, was talking to me about him. I don't remember what she said now but her words and voice were very clear. I went into another room and saw his sister. She had some kind of autoimmune disease and was trapped in a plastic room. I was told she loved to sing and saw her singing inside the box with a tiny open window right in front of her face. Then I ran into the medium, he was older and looked worn out. I told him I met his guide and that she told me that his gifts prevented him from doing things in life. I said this after trying to remember what his guide had told me. It felt like the message was more for me than him.
Then I was back on the street with my wad of money. We crossed the street and I lost some of the money. In my attempts to grab at it I noticed it had turned into cigarettes. When we got to the other side of the street I had a hand full of cigarettes. Some were butts and some were unused. I dropped them and began to pick them up. I spoke with a man and I said to him, "I don't really need them" and began to leave some. The cigarettes in my hands caught on fire and I had to drop them. I sorted through then and found the one that was lit. I took a few drags but then noticed it was burning wrong and so dropped it. Then we lay down on a blanket and watched the female peacock jump over a fence and head towards the park and a huge river.
Peacock - Represents Spring, new growth, longevity and love. It can also represent manifestation. Since it was a female I believe it symbolizes feminine energy.
Money - Success and prosperity are within one's reach; confidence, self-worth and success.
Cigarette - One is in need of a break; may also indicate there are issues of dependency that need to be handled. Also suggests that one look at things they are doing in life that may adversely affect their health.
Eyes - To have two sets of eyes doubles the significance of the symbolism of the eye. Eyes represent intuition, enlightenment, knowledge.
It seemed like in this dream that I was being made aware of some things in my life and contemplating how I have responded to life's challenges thus far. The most significant part was the message that my gifts actually prevent me from doing things in this life. As I contemplate this I feel it to be true. I also am reminded of my past life and how I had strong intuition in that life. I was able to perceive the intentions of others and their true nature. Unfortunately, I was killed at a very young age by someone who felt threatened by my intuitive nature. These very same gifts are with me in this life and cause me to retreat from groups of people and limit my friendships. It can be hard when you sense the emotions and intentions of others, especially when they may be negative toward you or threatened by you. I am also aware that others cannot read me like I read them which may cause them to be distrustful or wary of me. When I feel this from people I meet it makes it more difficult for me to open up to them. There are few people who can read me well and they are the ones who I have let in. Those who I have not let in will never truly know me. Perhaps this is how I have limited myself in this or perhaps the message is just that I so fear rejection that I do not take chances that I should.
I know, it is strange for me to go from talking about feeling wonderful to the topic of death, but it something that has happened recently to friends of our family. My husband came home earlier this week and announce that a friend of ours and an in-law of my husband's brother passed away unexpectedly over the weekend. It was a shock to me and I felt sad for the man's family. My husband told me, "I am jealous". Strangely, that is something I would have said so it surprised me that my husband said it. Seems it is true that married folk tend to become more and more like another as the years go by.
That same day my husband told me that his boss, and his brother's father-in-law (the same brother), was in the hospital on a ventilator and near death. My husband, knowing I can perceive the future, asked me what I saw. I laughed (I know not funny) because when he first told me of his boss's illness I had told him that his heart would give out. Now, my husband was telling me that the stress on his boss' heart may be too much and then asking me what I saw. I first told him to remember what I said to him after meeting his boss for the first time. I had seen a black area over his chest and told him that I worried his heart was in danger. At this time my husband got very upset with me to the point that I told him I would not tell him anything future related about his boss again. He responded that it was okay. I then said, "Are you sure you want to know?" He said, "Yes". So then I told him what I thought, that his boss was tough and would hang in there for a while but reminded him again that I saw that his heart would fail at some point; that what I saw in his aura said it all. This upset my husband and so I just told him to focus on the time he had with him now. Thank goodness my husband was not upset by this.
Still today his boss hangs in there. The family will likely take him off the ventilator to see how he responds. My husband is very worried and here I am feeling this anticipation feeling, as if there is good news coming. I feel a bit guilty for it.
Good News?
As I try to figure out what the good news is, a few things come to mind. One, I got news recently that my sister and our cousin, who is now her husband, have been given an eviction notice to be out of my grandmother's rental house by November 1st. Now, I don't know if this will last being my grandmother changes her mind so frequently, but the news made me hopeful that they would in fact leave and that I would not have their influence so close to my family. If it does go through then I will finally feel like my family is handling things appropriately. This would indeed be a cause for celebration.
Another thing it could be is that I am about to get a job offer. I recently had an interview on Wednesday and have yet to hear whether I got the job or not. The feeling of anticipation has been with me since the day after the interview.
The final thing it could be is that perhaps there is some kind of spiritual change occurring that could be bringing on this feeling. I have been having dreams that suggest change is coming and I have gained a guide. This option does not feel as likely to me to be the source, but it is a possibility.
Dreams
My dreams have been very vivid lately. There are odd parts of the dreams that have stayed with me and the symbolism is interesting and applicable to my life.
Broken Refrigerator
In one dream I was in a house with a man and we were discussing the refrigerator. It had broken and he took it to the shop. He said the repair man came and got it. I asked what happened to our food and he said it was still in the fridge. I then got concerned and reminded him the food would be spoiled. He said the repairman had filled the fridge with dry rice as cushioning to keep the food containers from breaking. It didn't make sense but I let it go and began talking about getting an new fridge. When the man left I noticed a ring of yellow gunk where the fridge had been. So I got out a mop and cleaned it up. I remember hearing from someone that this was a good thing.
Broken Refrigerator - Suggests the need to warm up to someone or some situation and let go of harsh feelings toward them or it.
Rice - Symbolizes success, prosperity, luck, fertility and warm friendships.
Cleaning - Removing life's negativity and overcoming obstacles; moving into a new stage of life.
In this dream I was on a street with my husband and my son. We were walking along and talking, though I can't remember what about. At the time there were two female peacocks wandering around. I was thrilled to see them and pointed them out to my husband. He ran to catch one and I told him how to hold the big bird so he didn't get pecked. He caught one and then let her go. She ran around and I watch as she left.
As we continued walking I noticed that I was pushing a stroller but my son, who is 2 years old in real life, was small and in the stroller. Then I looked up and this man, who was wearing a number and running as if in a race, came by me. He thrust out his hand which had wads of money in it. I said, "For me?" and he said, "If you want it". I thought for a second and then took the money, shocked that I was getting free money. Then another runner came and did the same thing. I took his money also. Then a third runner came and offered me money. I hesitated again, thinking this must be a joke and looked for cameras, but eventually took the money. I showed the wad of money to my husband. I could see $1s, $5s, $10s and $20s in the wad. It was a lot of money.
At this point I was given a photo album. It was lost and very old. I looked inside and saw photo IDs of people who looked like my family members. One woman even looked like me. To the far right was a photo of a man who had two sets of eyes, one set above the other. I was shocked by this. I was told the photo album had belongs to a famous medium and he was the one with two sets of eyes. In the album I saw a building in Los Angeles I recognized. It had a single, white box with a letter in the middle of it. I want to say the letter "r".
I decided to go to the building and investigate. When I got there I ran into a man who was the medium but very old. A woman, his guide, was talking to me about him. I don't remember what she said now but her words and voice were very clear. I went into another room and saw his sister. She had some kind of autoimmune disease and was trapped in a plastic room. I was told she loved to sing and saw her singing inside the box with a tiny open window right in front of her face. Then I ran into the medium, he was older and looked worn out. I told him I met his guide and that she told me that his gifts prevented him from doing things in life. I said this after trying to remember what his guide had told me. It felt like the message was more for me than him.
Then I was back on the street with my wad of money. We crossed the street and I lost some of the money. In my attempts to grab at it I noticed it had turned into cigarettes. When we got to the other side of the street I had a hand full of cigarettes. Some were butts and some were unused. I dropped them and began to pick them up. I spoke with a man and I said to him, "I don't really need them" and began to leave some. The cigarettes in my hands caught on fire and I had to drop them. I sorted through then and found the one that was lit. I took a few drags but then noticed it was burning wrong and so dropped it. Then we lay down on a blanket and watched the female peacock jump over a fence and head towards the park and a huge river.
Peacock - Represents Spring, new growth, longevity and love. It can also represent manifestation. Since it was a female I believe it symbolizes feminine energy.
Money - Success and prosperity are within one's reach; confidence, self-worth and success.
Cigarette - One is in need of a break; may also indicate there are issues of dependency that need to be handled. Also suggests that one look at things they are doing in life that may adversely affect their health.
Eyes - To have two sets of eyes doubles the significance of the symbolism of the eye. Eyes represent intuition, enlightenment, knowledge.
It seemed like in this dream that I was being made aware of some things in my life and contemplating how I have responded to life's challenges thus far. The most significant part was the message that my gifts actually prevent me from doing things in this life. As I contemplate this I feel it to be true. I also am reminded of my past life and how I had strong intuition in that life. I was able to perceive the intentions of others and their true nature. Unfortunately, I was killed at a very young age by someone who felt threatened by my intuitive nature. These very same gifts are with me in this life and cause me to retreat from groups of people and limit my friendships. It can be hard when you sense the emotions and intentions of others, especially when they may be negative toward you or threatened by you. I am also aware that others cannot read me like I read them which may cause them to be distrustful or wary of me. When I feel this from people I meet it makes it more difficult for me to open up to them. There are few people who can read me well and they are the ones who I have let in. Those who I have not let in will never truly know me. Perhaps this is how I have limited myself in this or perhaps the message is just that I so fear rejection that I do not take chances that I should.
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