Decision

Yesterday when I opened up my next online course and I saw all the work that was involved I cringed. This happened with my last course, the one I just successfully completed. However, there was more dread this time and I knew that my heart just was not in it anymore. I considered dropping the course and then, after thinking on it some more, I considered a complete university withdrawal.

I sent an email to inquire on what I would need to withdraw and waited on the response. I spent the remainder of the day thinking about it. How badly did I want to be an LPC? Do I need it to do what I want to do in life? Actually, what do I want to do in life?

I had trouble sleeping last night but finally went to sleep at about 1a.m. When I awoke this morning I had complete certainty that I wanted to withdraw and forgo obtaining my LPC. I told my husband and gathered up the documents I needed, filled them out and emailed them to the records department. I expect a reply email on Monday confirming the withdrawal, or, the worst case scenario is that I filled out the wrong form and need to send in the correct one.

I feel as if a weight has been lifted off of me. It is amazing. I did not realize that it was such a burden to be pursuing my LPC. I started recognizing my resistance last course when I was given assignment after assignment that required me to diagnose a fictional person with this or that mental disorder using the DSM-IV-TR. I absolutely hated it. I hate diagnosing people with mental disorders and I don't want to do it. Most of the "disorders" are vague, their criteria applying to most normal individuals at one time or another in their life. Most importantly, how can I diagnose someone with a mental disorder when I, myself, would qualify for many of the disorders just because of my spiritual abilities? Who is to say that these people are mentally disabled because they hear a "voice" or have an out of body experience or unexplainable experience? Who is to say someone needs to take a ton of medications to be "normal"? That is not who I am, never has been. I do not need a license to help people and I don't want a license to diagnose people or go along with some mental diagnosis that may or may not be accurate.And the course that sent me into this tailspin was a course whose requirements were that I learn specific counseling skills and techniques and prove that I can use them by videoing myself with a client. The techniques are all find and dandy but to restrict myself to learning certain acceptable techniques is not in my nature. Most of what I do when I help someone or counsel them is intuitive. It is not a "technique" with a name, it just is. I did not feel that spending the next five weeks proving I am capable is something I would enjoy or that is necessary for me. I would much rather be exploring my spiritual side, flying out of body on astral adventures and helping others using my gifts.

So much for the LPC idea. I guess it served its purpose.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Memory of Between Lives

Image
I keep being amazed by the things I am remembering. Today I remembered the moments before I entered into this body. I had always remembered seeing Earth and feeling drawn to come down into a body, but I could not remember anything more. Well, I did today. I remembered walking along a path with a woman who I instantly recognized as "Mom" but not from this life but maybe another one but I cannot place the life at this time. She had shoulder length brown hair that was very smooth and pulled back from around her face. She was smiling and very happy. Can still see her clearly. She was excited and encouraging. The place where we were was very bright and looked like Earth with green grass, trees and blue sky. I could see benches along the path that were bright white and the walkway we were walking on was lined with a similar white stone edging. The woman walked with me to a domed shaped building. It was not very large and seemed almost out of place as it was just sitting at th...
Read more

Steven, where are you?

Image
I can't find Steven. Two nights ago I was outside sitting and taking in the cool breezes and silence and pondering over a strange feeling I have been having this week when I heard a voice say to me, "You are safe". The voice seemed to be coming from my left at first but when I focused on it more, it really just seemed to come from all around me. I was a bit worried because I thought it was a spirit just coming by to say hi and in the evenings I really prefer to have only my guides around me, it makes it simpler and less distracting. So I did as I usually do when I feel there may be more spirit around than I am comfortable with and said, "Only my guides and angels around me at this time". It always woks to say that. I again heard, "You are safe". The feeling I have been having this week - a feeling that something is different and changing around me in the world or perhaps even closer to home - had me on edge as it was, and now hearing this new voice...
Read more

Past Lives Part II Continued

460AD I am a man. I can barely see and am dizzy. I am very hungry and thirsty. I can see a sandy color all around me and an open window to my left. I can see the blue sky outside. The ground is also sandy colored and I can feel that it is dirt. When I look down at myself I see my ankles are cuffed and chained to the ground. I want to die and try to close my eyes. I hear a man's voice above me shout, "You can't die yet" and feel a pain in the side of my head. The dizziness returns and I black out. 1610AD I recalled this life in hypnosis. I am a young woman in France, probably around the age of 19. I have dark hair and am about 5 feet tall. I am very thin and fairly attractive. I am married to a Duke or someone of royal ties. He is much older than me and I consider him very unattractive. He has dark hair and is very tall and slender. His nose is very pronounced.  I resent the fact that I am married to my husband. It was an arranged marriage by my parents. I beli...
Read more