Living Life in Between

Change is inevitable. Nothing stays the same for very long. In just a couple of weeks I will be back at work and my brief time at home with my baby and toddler will be over. And yet there is so much more change to look forward to. Yes - look forward to. Change is often thought of as a negative thing, at least by me, especially if it is not manifested, wanted or is unexpected. But my outlook on change is changing. Recent Events Marriage Since I last wrote in this blog, so much has happened. My mother was married in her back yard in a small, informal ceremony. 50 or so family and friends came to celebrate the union of two people who had long been apart only to be reunited in marriage almost 50 years later. I, for some reason, was not overly excited about the union but very happy that my mother found her long lost love and will not be alone in her golden years. Call it the curse of foresight, but I know all the well that her happy time will be brief, but then again it will be a good...

I don't know why, but for the past week or more I have been waking up around 5:00am and can't go back to sleep. It is very frustrating. On top of that, my dreams are hard to remember because I sleep so hard and so deep that when I wake up briefly, which I do at least twice a night to use the bathroom, I cannot remember my dreams even if I try to go over them in my mind before bed. Funny, as I typed the paragraph above I heard a voice say, "Perhaps you need the rest?" I guess I do, but I don't feel tired and I don't feel like I need to heal anymore. Guess I am wrong. Then I hear, "Enjoy this time. Heal and rest. Take time for yourself". But typically what I do when I "take time for myself" is meditate and/or try to astral. These things are not happening like I would like. I did a root chakra meditation the other day and felt nothing. Usually I can feel a pulling or tingling sensation in the chakra or tingling up and down my spine. Nothin...

Detox Day 5 My detox has been going well. I have not been following my diet as well as I would have liked (Easter interrupted) but all in all it has been going well. I lost 3lbs in four days and am sure I will be losing more. But losing weight was not my intention, it was flushing my system of toxins left over from my surgery and the medications they gave me. So far the only side effects of the detox have been that I wake up aching or with a headache or both. I lowered the night dosage to see if that would help and it did, though I was sore and stiff this morning from my previous day's workout. The cabbage soup has been working wonders on my entire family. My whole family likes it and with all the extra veggies it provides, they have been getting their servings of veggies, which I must admit they were not getting enough of. Unfortunately there has not been any change in my dreams since I started the detox. I am sleeping good, though, and I can't complain about that. I h...

There are two sets of quotes I want to share with you today. They come from two very inspirational people, in my opinion. The first is an important contributor to psychology and education. The second is the founder of Diantetics and Scientology. "You will either step forward into growth or back into safety". ~ Abraham Maslow “All universes are, to some degree, games and no universe would exist if there was not the spirit of play in the thetan. ... “There is little ecstasy in play for anyone who has grown to any age a...

Yesterday I got a small reprieve thanks to my mother. I was able to go into town and do some things just for me. As I was driving, my mind cleared, which is often the case when I escape the confines of my home. There is a heavy energy that can hang around one's place of residence which lessens as one moves farther away from it. I notice this every.single.time I leave my own home. Auditing The first idea that popped into my mind was that I needed to use the remainder of my maternity leave to finish my auditing. I left my last cycle hanging because I was just too pregnant and it was causing delays which was resulting, ultimately, in a waste of my time and energy. One has to be well fed, well rested and mentally ready for intense auditing and, well, being pregnant has a tendency to make one hungry, tired and absent minded. Not ideal. So, I contacted my husband and gave him my idea. He was very excited because he has been trying to talk me into finishing auditing from the minut...

Why do you do the things you do? Why do you make the choices you make in life? What motivates you? These questions were asked of me this morning as I awakened from a dream about a past decision I made. A Child Given Away In the dream I was at a doctor's office filling out paperwork with my ex-husband. My ex was the one filling out the paperwork and I remember him asking me how to answer the questions. What was odd about this dream was that he was filling out paperwork for a child that we never had together. A son who, apparently, we had allowed another couple to raise as their own. They also had a child who was my ex's from another relationship. Another boy who was not more than a year older than the other boy. Since he was the one doing all the writing, I found myself immersed in memories of my past with him, especially my time in the mountains and all the miserable cold weather I endured. In one memory I was standing at a sink in a restroom cleaning baby bottles. I ...

Yesterday evening was a calm, peaceful one for me. I am not sure why, but maybe it had something to do with the coming of the full moon, the lunar eclipse and the fact that this moon is considered a "blood moon". The Significance of the Blood Moon When I researched the blood moon of April 15th, it appears to have significance to those who believe in religious prophecies associated with the blood moon and something known as the "lunar tetrad" - four blood moons in a row. The blood moon on April 15 is created by the lunar eclipse and so, therefore, more significant. According to prophecy, this tetrad begins with the blood moon on April 15 and then continues into 2015. Supposedly, in the past, similar tetrads were linked to war and uprisings on Earth. Prophecy advocates suggest that this current blood moon tetrad could be linked to a world shaking event such as another war or the end to one period on Earth and the beginning of another. What is interesting to me abo...

Sometimes when I am left alone my guides take the opportunity to pass along messages.Today was one of those "opportune times" I guess. My husband took our older two children with him to an archeological dig that is located near our home. It gave me time alone with my baby. I also got to write in my blog and get some chores around the house done. When I sat down to watch some television is when the unexpected message hit. Similar to my experience in 2002 (without the booming voice) I got a strong feeling that I needed to "leave now". With it came the idea to just pack up my family and head out without concern about what to do with the loose ends. When I got the message I also realized that the number of guides around me had doubled from 4 to 8. Additionally, I became overwhelmed with emotion - mostly fear. Where would we go? What would I do for income? The answers to my questions never came but a feeling of knowingness accompanied the message: it would not be a...

I have not had much time to connect with Spirit lately and have felt very disconnected for over a month now. However, there have been some animal visitors of late that are unusual to say the least. I can't help but notice them, especially when they come more than once for a visit. Hummingbird This has been my most numerous visitor. He never comes directly to me, though, but through my husband. The first time I encountered him he had flown into my house and my husband caught him and brought him to me cupped in his hands. He was small and beautiful and so fragile looking. Then my husband released him by throwing him into the air and he zoomed off as if nothing had happened. The second time it happened about a week later. We had returned home and my husband had left the garage door open. He came out with his hands cupped again and asked me if I wanted to look at the hummingbird. It had flown into the garage and become trapped and was so tired my husband had no trouble scooping ...

It has been over a week since having my baby and I am finally beginning to feel like myself again. I have been getting tons of healing chills up and down my body but most of them focus on my stomach area and incision site. Yesterday I felt good enough to go for a walk and walked over 2 miles and today I do not feel any after-effects which is a good sign. I hope to be back into my normal routine next week, but considering the messages I have been getting it may not be a good idea to go back to work just yet. C-Section Thoughts I wanted to write down a few thoughts about my c-section experience mainly for myself but also for anyone who has questions about what to expect from a c-section. I had little time to prepare for mine but I was able to research enough about them to be semi-prepared. The actual surgery itself is not one I want to experience again. The spinal they gave me is the main reason. Not only does it numb you from the waist down  (and when I say numb I mean you don...

Just a quick update to keep you all in the loop. :) I never made it to my April 4th c-section. Baby Elek decided he wanted to come earlier than that. I actually had a premonition of exactly when this would happen but I put it at the back of my mind as I often do just in case it was off. This one was not off, however. It was exactly spot on. Actually, premonition is probably not the right words. I didn't have a flash of the future or a vision or even a mental knowingness. I was told by one of my guides when he would come. I also had knowingness that corresponded to receiving the message. Typically when I get told something will happen, such as in this case, it does. I was told the week before that the 26th would be a significant day. It turned out to be so. When I was at the appointment I felt he would come earlier than the April 4th date. When I felt this I heard, "Monday" very clearly in my mind. Later, over the weekend, I kept feeling like I needed to get ready beca...