Missed Message

Apparently I am one of the most dense psychics out there, at least when it comes to receiving messages from my guides. Of course, my guides don't typically come out and tell me future things about myself in a direct manner, making it more difficult for me to really get the gist of the message. I am sure I am much to blame for the miscommunication that exists between myself and my guides. My ego gets in the way often and even when it is not in the way, my subconscious does not like to hold onto the messages in full, so only bits and pieces get through. On top of all that, I interpret many of the messages I get as symbolic rather than direct messages.

In the end, what is really the true "gift" of a psychic is not his/her ability to get messages, it is his/her ability to accurately interpret them. Additionally, there is no substitute for one's own intuition. Intuition, or one's personal knowingness, is above all, the most blessed gift and we all have it.

So what message did I miss?

Yep. I'm pregnant. A little over 5 weeks. SURPRISE indeed!

The messages were there all along. I recognized every one of them on Wednesday when I realized I was late for my period. 6 days late.

The strangest recollection of a message received but missed was of a dream I had. I don't think I posted it because it was not much of a dream. In fact, all I recall about it was that a man asked me, "Would you like to have another baby?" I responded, "Yes, yes! I would love to!" I was overcome with such joy that it woke me up. I laid there in bed for a while thinking, "That was an odd dream" and immediately saying to my guides, "I can't have another baby. I really don't want another baby". And that was it. Dream forgotten.

The next memory I had was of shopping for groceries like I do every week. I was going to buy some melatonin to help me get to sleep (yeah, still having that problem). I saw the prenatal vitamins and thought, "I should buy some more" and for an instant thought about having another baby. I left the thought there along with the vitamins, picked up my melatonin and went on my way.

Then I recall the dream where I was talking to an older gentleman about the future of my children and their children. I did post this dream in this blog. In the dream I recall saying to the man, "Oh, then it would not be a bad idea to have another child!" The feeling in this dream was also positive and happy. I recall thinking it an odd dream but figured it was about me considering another baby, not actually being pregnant with one!

Then, in my most recent dream, there was an infant in a car seat (I also posted this dream) and she spoke to me at the end of the dream. She told me "Thank you" and, although I don't recall the entire sentence, I knew she was thanking me for being her mommy. When I woke from that dream I was already suspicious that I was pregnant but still pushed the thought out of my mind. It was just too hard to imagine that being the case.

Finally, there has been a woman in Spirit who has been hanging around me for a few weeks now. She kept hovering around me, touching my left arm and making her presence known. This is usual when Spirit wants to pass on a message so I asked her frequently what her message was. She would only say, "I love you" and "I am here". She seemed to want to comfort me but there also came with her an urgent feeling which made me uncomfortable. I kept feeling like something bad was going to happen. So I told her to back off because she was freaking me out. So she did. I now think she came because I was pregnant.

On top of all this, my sister told me last night she is 12 weeks pregnant. When she told me, I already had an inkling that I was pregnant and had been thinking of telling her but resisted doing so. When she told me, I was happy for her (which surprised me because of the negative situation in which she lives) and also happy that we would be pregnant together (I had already convinced myself that I was pregnant without a test to confirm).

Also, it now makes perfect sense why I did not get a counseling job. I don't think that it would have been ideal for me to be pregnant my first year as a counselor. I will likely take the last two months of work off for maternity leave. A first year counselor would not be looked fondly upon for that. Also, I don't know how I would have juggled a new job, pregnancy and LPC coursework all at once.

So, as I have been told by numerous people, everything happens for a reason.

I would like to ask that you pray for me, though. Yesterday, I went and did my normal workout at my gym class. It is very high intensity training with weights and lots of plyometrics. I got very overheated and my heart rate was very high. Afterward, I though I had started my period and so assumed I was not pregnant. Yet, when I went home all evidence of a period was gone. Now that I know I am pregnant I am a little worried I did something wrong and increased my chance of miscarriage. I have never miscarried but it scares me nonetheless. So please pray that the baby is fine and that there will be no miscarriage.