Physical Changes and Sensitivity
Some physical things have been occurring that are unusual, though. The night before last I was awakened in the middle of the night by very strong muscle fasciculation (twitching). My right arm (bicep/tricep) was twitching so violently that it woke me up. There was no pain, just visible twitching of the muscles. I tried to massage the muscle to no avail. I moved my arm and that would stop the twitching for a while, but it would return as soon as I tried to relax and go back to sleep. Eventually I just got up and went about my day. However, the muscle twitching continued on and off throughout the day in my right arm mostly, though once it occurred in my lower, left back. The twitching went into the evening to interrupt my sleep and continues today, even as I am typing this blog! It is very annoying!
At first I thought that the muscle twitching could have been caused by the margarita I drank the evening the twitches started. I only had one (I rarely drink) and remember feeling icky as I went to bed and felt that the alcohol had not been a good choice. During the night, when the twitches first occurred, I awoke and felt dehydrated and had indigestion which left me to blame the margarita and conclude that I had "poisoned" myself with it. When the twitches continued, I figured I had low magnesium. I usually take a magnesium supplement called Calm before bed, and I hadn't taken it the night the twitches started. Unfortunately, even taking magnesium seemed to have no effect on the twitching. So, I wondered if I had some kind of rare neurological condition, but my research online convinced me that was unlikely. I figured the twitching would stop on its own and have been patient. Last night I fell asleep despite some slight twitching and slept pretty well, but the twitching is definitely not gone. And this morning the buzzing/tingling on either side of my nose is back along with communication from Steven.
Apparently, the merging going on is affecting me physically. That night I wanted to try and astral but Steven said, "You drank". I was then left with a feeling that something was different in me. The ill feeling I had for the entire day following the margarita was ridiculous! One drink and I felt like I had a hangover from hell. On top of that, I had nasty indigestion. That and the twitching really had me worried and I spent most of the morning concerned that I was pregnant (very unlikely, but who knows?) because I rarely get indigestion, and usually only when I am pregnant.
Then today I looked online to see if muscle twitches could be a physical symptom of spiritual change. The first hit was Kundalini Awakening symptoms. Ah, so maybe the twitching is part of the merging process Steven said was occurring? Apparently, there are changes in the central nervous system when one experiences Kundalini energy. Central nervous system changes could very well cause muscle twitches.
Aside for the muscle twitches and extreme sensitivity to alcohol, everything else has been normal - until this morning. I had dreams where I would be stopped mid-dream to have a discussion about what the dream meant. It was very odd and I remember it vividly. The dreams last night seemed to be to discuss the decisions I had made in this life. The dream occurred in a house and I was discussing a play with two women. At first I didn't want to be in the play but saw it was short and so reconsidered. Apparently the last play I had been in had been long and was a musical (I don't like musicals). As I was considering the script, I was distracted by this guy and kept wanting him to approach me. I had this desire to cheat on my husband but didn't follow up on it directly. It was at this point that the dream stopped and I was talking to a man about why I wanted to do this and other instances in my life where I had similar inclinations. After the discussion, the dream continued and I was trying to leave the house. I was the last one there and had been asked to lock up. I wanted to leave before nightfall because I was afraid it was haunted. When I tried to lock up, the door, which was covered in multiple locks, would not lock. I spent a long time trying to lock it and never succeeded. I was going to leave it unlocked but felt guilty because I didn't want someone to break in. That is where the dream ended.
When I awoke, Steven was there and for some reason I asked about my other guides. He told me there were two: John and Yowanda. Both names sounded different than that but I think I am more comfortable with those names. When I asked what they did, I was told that John listened to my thoughts and Yowanda was an energy worker or distributor (healer?).
Steven then went on to ask me about my past decisions in this life, one specifically where I was tempted to cheat on my ex-husband. He kept asking questions like, "Why did you do it?" over and over, even after I answered. I kept thinking it was because I was selfish, but Steven kept asking me the question which indicates that I have yet to find the truth. Eventually, I got stuck on this feeling that I got on more than one occasion. It is a feeling of being frozen and not being able to act - as if I am more of an observer than an actor in my own life. In my mind I would feel that I was doing something wrong, but my body would be as if on autopilot. I finally recognized that I failed to control my body. That the physical impulses overpowered me. Many, many of these times (all, maybe?) I was under the influence of alcohol and sometimes in combination with anti-anxiety medications or other drugs (yeah, stupid, I know). I then remembered this life where I was addicted to alcohol and cheated on my wife repeatedly. Ugh, not a good memory but it helped me recognize that I have difficulty with sexual temptations when under the influence. So, maybe I should not drink alcohol? (I long ago stopped taking/ingesting medications/drugs that would be harmful). "It would be a good idea," says Steven.
I have long known that drugs and alcohol can be destructive and made a decision many, many years ago to stop. Alcohol and nicotine have not been thoroughly eradicated from my life, though. Steven says they will be. I am beginning to understand that it will happen and how.
I was also shown a book table of contents with headings and subheadings of chapters and sections. I instantly knew it represented my life. I was unable to read it. Later, I was shown a list numbered 1-10 and knew the first thing on the list was Amsterdam Project. It meant nothing to me but thought I would write it here just in case it is in reference to something in the future.
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