In Between
In between worlds - that's me. Lately I have been mostly in this world. My kids, husband and household occupy most of my time. I feel like I have been lost in a whirlwind by the end of the day; not knowing my front from my back.
Life shouldn't be like that. It use to not be like that.
I remember when I use to have all day to philosophize and speak with the Other Side. It was nice. I knew myself then. Well, my other self that is. I felt comfortable being with Spirit and learning from them. 75% of my day was in conversation with Steven, my guide, or others in spirit who wished to communicate with me. The other 25% was with people who knew only the mundane aspects of life. People who had no idea what went on around them, two feet above them and to the left. The silent voices of Spirit passed them by like so many whispers in the wind. For me, though, those voices were a light in the darkness. MY world. They made me special.
Back to reality.
Today my son decided to sleep in until 7am. My daughter fought her nap, again. It was too hot to go outside so I spent the majority of the day on my computer scrolling through Facebook posts and hoping to find something interesting. But, alas, there was nothing new, and my day zipped by without much of a thought.
Now there are good things about my new life. My tiny baby boy changes and grows so much each day! I am fascinated by how aware he is and the love he has already for his big sister, mommy, daddy, nana and mema. He is fully of pure innocence and joy. Such a great place to be. My little girl, who is barely 3 years old, finds joy in the simplest things - throwing a toy in the air or building a tent out of blankets and sheets. Her favorite outfit is her bare naked skin and tangled hair. Her blue eyes so large you could swim in them and her smile so bright it melts your heart. In the mornings she sneaks up behind me and hugs me. It use to startle me but now I strain to hear the pitter patter of her little feet as she climbs the stairs and I usually hear her before she wraps her arms around me.
These simple things are my new life. It is beautiful, but in a different way.
As I sit here thinking of how my life has changed I hear a familiar voice at the back of my head, just a little to my right, but always behind me. I see a glimmer of a tall man with slender shoulders and dark hair. I see a speck of white which means he is smiling and I hear him say, "You are in between. Just look over here and you will see us."
And it's that simple. Just look. Just take a break from this reality and glance into the other one. I am standing on a line. On one side is this life, this physical body and the people and experiences that go with it. On the other side is me, also, but in another form, one that can go and be anywhere it chooses and who, despite what the one in the physical body may believe, has an infinite amount of knowledge at their fingertips.
How easy it is to get caught up in this world. So many responsibilities. So many people who depend on me. Sometimes I can't sleep at night, thinking of all the things I need to do, didn't do and have yet to figure out I need to do. What if? That is a question that is always lingering at the back of my mind. What if the house burns down? What if my daughter falls off the deck? What if I decide to quit my job and go back to the spiritual path I was once on?
What if's are unnecessary. They bog down the mind and trap it beneath fear and trepidation. The freedom we have in spirit all caught up in the net that is the human mind. It makes me resentful of life; of this body and the restrictions that come with it. Oh how I long for a night of restful sleep so I can be free of my body and explore the realms around me.
Last night I was almost free. I felt myself jumping. Tall leaps and bounds into the air. So high I could almost touch the stars. But I told myself, "Not too high. Don't go too high." Even as I tried to escape the body the body reached out through my subconscious and pulled me down. Perhaps another night I will find a way out, just for a few hours, like I use to do. Astral travel, as it is called by many, use to be a past time of mine.
Not now.
Life shouldn't be like that. It use to not be like that.
I remember when I use to have all day to philosophize and speak with the Other Side. It was nice. I knew myself then. Well, my other self that is. I felt comfortable being with Spirit and learning from them. 75% of my day was in conversation with Steven, my guide, or others in spirit who wished to communicate with me. The other 25% was with people who knew only the mundane aspects of life. People who had no idea what went on around them, two feet above them and to the left. The silent voices of Spirit passed them by like so many whispers in the wind. For me, though, those voices were a light in the darkness. MY world. They made me special.
Back to reality.
Today my son decided to sleep in until 7am. My daughter fought her nap, again. It was too hot to go outside so I spent the majority of the day on my computer scrolling through Facebook posts and hoping to find something interesting. But, alas, there was nothing new, and my day zipped by without much of a thought.
Now there are good things about my new life. My tiny baby boy changes and grows so much each day! I am fascinated by how aware he is and the love he has already for his big sister, mommy, daddy, nana and mema. He is fully of pure innocence and joy. Such a great place to be. My little girl, who is barely 3 years old, finds joy in the simplest things - throwing a toy in the air or building a tent out of blankets and sheets. Her favorite outfit is her bare naked skin and tangled hair. Her blue eyes so large you could swim in them and her smile so bright it melts your heart. In the mornings she sneaks up behind me and hugs me. It use to startle me but now I strain to hear the pitter patter of her little feet as she climbs the stairs and I usually hear her before she wraps her arms around me.
These simple things are my new life. It is beautiful, but in a different way.
As I sit here thinking of how my life has changed I hear a familiar voice at the back of my head, just a little to my right, but always behind me. I see a glimmer of a tall man with slender shoulders and dark hair. I see a speck of white which means he is smiling and I hear him say, "You are in between. Just look over here and you will see us."
And it's that simple. Just look. Just take a break from this reality and glance into the other one. I am standing on a line. On one side is this life, this physical body and the people and experiences that go with it. On the other side is me, also, but in another form, one that can go and be anywhere it chooses and who, despite what the one in the physical body may believe, has an infinite amount of knowledge at their fingertips.
How easy it is to get caught up in this world. So many responsibilities. So many people who depend on me. Sometimes I can't sleep at night, thinking of all the things I need to do, didn't do and have yet to figure out I need to do. What if? That is a question that is always lingering at the back of my mind. What if the house burns down? What if my daughter falls off the deck? What if I decide to quit my job and go back to the spiritual path I was once on?
What if's are unnecessary. They bog down the mind and trap it beneath fear and trepidation. The freedom we have in spirit all caught up in the net that is the human mind. It makes me resentful of life; of this body and the restrictions that come with it. Oh how I long for a night of restful sleep so I can be free of my body and explore the realms around me.
Last night I was almost free. I felt myself jumping. Tall leaps and bounds into the air. So high I could almost touch the stars. But I told myself, "Not too high. Don't go too high." Even as I tried to escape the body the body reached out through my subconscious and pulled me down. Perhaps another night I will find a way out, just for a few hours, like I use to do. Astral travel, as it is called by many, use to be a past time of mine.
Not now.
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