Living Life in Between

If you've noticed, I've not been posting much in this blog. I've been attempting to shift back to WP but find myself limited by it. Limited meaning I don't feel safe to post the more mundane and personal aspects of my journey. There is an expectation that goes along with my WP blog, an expectation to post about OBEs, dreams, and the spiritually profound. Anything else is lacking. I mentioned in my WP blog today that there are things that happened on the 10th and 11th that I couldn't write about on there. Well, I will share some of that here now. Whatever "change" the 11/11 portal brought for you, for me it seems to be a full letting go of a particular dream of mine. Giving up is a better word, though. Giving up on a person, really. On 11/11 my FB feed showed a pic I had posted last year. The pic showed my old office telephone with 11/11 and the time 11:11 am. I recalled the horrible pain I was going through at the time and recognized how far I have ...

Auspicious: A a word that came to mind when considering how my life has recently changed. It actually popped into my mind while responding to a FB post about current astrological events and their potential effects. For me, the change began around October 10 when Jupiter entered Scorpio. I don't know much about why this astrological change in planet location would affect me the way it did but I felt the shift the day before and have been feeling it ever since! It initially felt like a burden lifted off my shoulders in the way I perceived it. Then there was a definite relaxing of my physical body and even my mind relaxed as my inner dialogue slowed to a trickle. I continue to feel more calm and relaxed. It's like my subconscious received the message, "The threat is over" after being on alert for way too long. Doors Will Open I received the message, "Doors will open for you now" not long ago. When I heard it I Knew it was truth but I did not speculate a...

Prior to bed I again asked for clarification, this time shifting my question to, "Give me more specifics on what you mean by "face". Face what exactly?" Dream: Suitor  I was invited to a man's home where we had dinner and a nice chat. He was a nerdy (something has been overlooked) sort of guy with a pronounced nose, thin face and light hair. He was tall and thin, wore glasses and appeared to be somewhat young. We got along well, though, and I enjoyed his company. We spoke about his plans, his education and other things. He invited me to be more than friends. I declined. I remember being attracted to the attention he was giving me but understanding the implications allowing myself to overly indulge in his attention. I did not want to encourage him knowing I was unable to reciprocate. I had thoughts about my husband and family at this time. I remember him telling me he had bought the house (soul, self) we were in. His believed if he owned a house and was ...

Butterfly visit yesterday - 10/10/2017 Woke early this morning at around 5:30am with no dream recall whatsoever. Super tired, I rolled over to try and return to sleep despite hearing tiny footsteps on the stairs outside my room. Dream: Injured Cat I was in a garage (period of inactivity in my life) with my mom about to get into the car to go somewhere. It felt like early morning. My mom told me my brother was checking on an injured cat (feminine spirit, sexuality) he saw in the road that had been hit by a car. He was going to take it to the vet and see if he could save its life. I remember thinking, "My brother the cat hero" or something like that and thinking about how he always did have a big heart. In my mind I saw the cat - gray with thick fur and wrapped in a towel. It reminded me of one of my mom's cats that recently died, attacked in the night by some animal and left in my mom's front yard for her to find in the morning, entrails strewn all over. Dr...

Seriously tired of crying - in my dreams, when I'm meditating, when I have down time/alone time.......crying in general! I never know what will set me off, either. Sometimes it is beautiful things, sometimes sad things, other times it's memories, and then sometimes I have no idea why I'm crying. If I'm busy, I'm good to go. Stay occupied = no crying. Got it. But the minute I'm alone and unoccupied then my heart grows heavy and I get all sappy and weak-like and usually end up crying either a little or a lot. UGH! Then, lucky me, I get to cry in my dreams!!!!!!!!!! No, it's not an all-the-time thing, thankfully, but it happens enough still that it is bothersome. I'm getting a bit grumpy/angry about it now. Dreams When I woke at 6:15am I had no memory of my dreams and fell back to sleep. When I woke again I was in tears, full-on sobbing, but suddenly had an entire night's worth of dream recall. School dream with burning car - Dreamed I was i...

So the family drama saga continues..... The day after the cat was let out of the bag I received FB messages from my sister. Here is a screenshot of one of her loving communications with me: At first I couldn't tell whether she was mad or making a joke because she sent the funny cartoon and then seemed to make a joke. I don't like messenger or text so kept my reply short but then she sent another graphic of a woman laughing. Again, not sure what her tone was I opted to not reply. Then she started going off and it was obvious what her tone was, as you can see for yourself. So I asked her to call me. I actually didn't read anything past my message and kept cleaning up breakfast but she wrote more and threatened to expose my "secrets" to my mom. So, I picked up the phone and called her. My mom answered, oblivious to what was going on. I quickly explained and she handed the phone to my sister who answered with, "What do you want?" I told her tha...

I've been stressed out. Even when nothing is happening to stress me out I feel stressed out. It is an anticipatory stress, like the other shoe is about to drop. It keeps me on edge most of the time and I am really beginning to hate the feeling. I wish it would go away. There are minor things that create this stress - kids fighting and tantrums, financial strain, family drama. None of them is really out of the ordinary yet right now they seem to feel like huge burdens on my shoulders. Every little thing causes my pulse to quicken and gives me a sick feeling in my stomach. This can't be a good thing for me physically, either. Sadly, I got a slip from post office yesterday stating I had missed signing for certified mail. That has intensified the stress feeling and caused me to lose sleep last night. I keep thinking of when my guidance told me this time in my life is about "experiencing". Does that mean experiencing mundane problems? Message I've been watchin...

Still recovering from that cold but doing a bit better. Still some congestion and clogged ears. Right now morning's are rough but the rest of the day I'm fine. This tends to be how the cold ends so I know I will be 100% soon. Yesterday I woke up and my entire left shoulder was a giant knot that seemed to follow the entire length of my scapula all the way around to my latissimus dorsi. It hurt to move in certain ways and if I inhaled deeply it felt like a rib was poking me. My husband gave me a massage which helped only temporarily. Then I used heat and that helped a tad bit more. By evening and after two sessions of Hatha Yoga the pain subsided enough that I barely noticed the pain. The Yoga I did that focused on the lower body seemed to be what helped the most. Thinking the pain source was not my shoulder at all but my lower back and/or hamstrings. Weird but then the back tends to be like that. I have no idea what triggered my back to do that. Usually sleep heals. This ...

Still battling a cold but am past the sore throat stage already. Now I'm just dealing with stopped up ears, evening headaches and congestion. Thankfully I've been more stable mentally and emotionally so as to counter the physical setbacks of the cold. In fact, I've felt so stable that I attempted a workout in the gym and passed with flying colors. No panic attack, not even a near-miss. Perhaps the panic/anxiety was just a temporary side-effect of recent integration and/or upgrades? My sleep continues to be deep and uninterrupted but my dreams are slowly becoming more lucid and memorable. Last evening my guidance interrupted my thoughts for the first time in a while. I was contemplating the whole walk-in confusion I went through and the last thing I thought to myself was, "I am not a walk-in, never was." It crossed my mind that if I got that wrong then I likely got many other things wrong about my journey; that none of it has ever been what it appeared to be. ...

Feeling pretty crappy this morning. I have another cold, the kind with a lovely sore throat and headache. My husband and daughter have it, too. 😕 Hoping it is short-lived. The last sore throat I had was in June when my family visited South Padre Island. That was horrendous compared to this "baby" sore throat, though. I have now lost count of how many colds I've had this year but I think this is the fourth one. For someone who rarely if ever gets sick this is ridiculous!!!! Though I've been avoiding reading about ascension and astrological events and trends I couldn't help but notice a few fellow bloggers mentioning the Lion's Gate and eclipse energies wreaking all sorts of havoc on their bodies (physical and otherwise). As I mentioned in another post, August tends to be a crappy month for me in general. My birthday starts off the month and then it generally goes downhill from there. "Positive" spiritual experience decline in August and typicall...