Living Life in Between

I took both my kids to the kiddie pool today to get out of the house and just do something different. I woke up feeling negative again and figured it would help pull me out of my pessimistic shell. I have been intending to take them to the pool all summer, so it was about time I did. When we arrived at the kiddie pool, we were early so we took our time getting our swimsuits on in the changing area. My daughter was really stoked and could not stop talking about swimming and playing in the pool. My son didn't quite know what to make of everything and just wanted to explore the changing area. My daughter and I both got changed and were ready to go but my son still needed changing. When I tried to change him he flat out refused and demanded we "go home". I was patient with him and kept trying to get him to change but he still refused. My daughter began to get upset and started trying to force him to change. I stopped her and she calmed down but remained panicked. She didn

I am happy to report that I was only sick the one day with the intestinal flu. I have had a bit of it recur today but not like it was. It could be that my body is still fighting the virus. I was able to kill a difficult crossfit workout at the gym, so I think I must be getting better. :) Hopefully this illness is not the parasite they keep reporting on the news. Ick! Family Reunion I had a pretty depressing day yesterday. I have not yet heard back from my last job interview and it had me down in the dumps and just plain hopeless. I spent most of yesterday moping about. Then, my husband came home and told me some pretty disturbing news. The oldest daughter of a friend of ours has bone cancer. She is only 12 years old. She had to have her left leg removed all the way to her hip. It is just so sad. She is just a child! I don't know the prognosis, but bone cancer is not any easy cancer to get rid of. It made my moping around all day about a missed job opportunity seem....well....

I couldn't sleep again last night. It is becoming a big irritation. When I can't sleep for a few days in a row then I become fixated on the problem of not being able to sleep. All that leads to is more inability to sleep. When I am not well rested during the day I am irritable and more likely to be depressed and mopy. I don't like the me that is sleep deprived. I Quit Right now my problem is both falling asleep and going back to sleep when I wake up during the night. This was the way my sleep patterns were before my recent experiment where I stopped drinking coffee and stopped taking Benadryl. I didn't mention that about three days ago I stopped smoking my one cigarette a day. I usually smoked it right before bed. In the past when I have tried to quit I have had horrible insomnia and found that if I just smoked before bed that it helped me get to sleep. So, I am pretty sure my messed up sleep patterns the past few nights are a direct result of quitting. It seem

I had an interesting experience last night. First of all, I was exhausted because I hadn't slept well the night before. I decided to do a quick mediation prior to bed. I propped myself up in bed and just focused on an area of blackness in front of my closed eyes. That was at 9p.m. The next thing I remember is being OOB and floating in a 3Ddarkness. I could see colors in shapes that morphed like some kind of psychedelic trip. The shapes of color would fly by me and around me. Some would linger and let me look at them closer. One was orange and elongated, kind of like  small, cigar-shaped space craft. I saw several of them and just followed them with my eyes, not attempting to move or follow them anywhere. As I was floating I was also aware of my physical body. I could feel myself breathing and laying on my bed. It was a surreal experience. As I floated/lay there, I could hear music. It was a song I recently bought called All Those Pretty Lights by Andrew Belle, but only the i

It's been a while since I have written. I just haven't felt the urge to. Plus, there really wasn't much to write about. I had a job interview yesterday which left me feeling so-so. I have no idea what the outcome will be and I am really not stressing over it. I have decided that I will be happy no matter the outcome. I just can't waste anymore of my energy worrying over it. I would love to be offered this job but there is part of me that does not like the idea and uncertainty of new job while I am pursuing my LPC. Rather than constantly be at odds with myself, I am just trusting that the universe will give me what I need. It is such a relief! Spirit Woman An interesting thing that has been happening the last couple of days is that I am being visited by a woman in Spirit. She touches my left arm at odd times. When she does this, my whole arm will tingle. I am familiar with the feeling and acknowledged it and it would go away. One time, I welcomed it and the feeling

Brief recap of my experiment: On July 17th I decided to stop taking Benadryl to help me sleep. That same night I had an odd astral experience that was not as bright and happy as I would have liked, but it was astral nonetheless. I decided to cut caffeine the next day since I felt it may not be helping either. The next two nights I had vivid dreams, all focusing on what I had asked to focus upon prior to bed. Then there was last night, er well early this morning at around 4a.m. to be exact. I had awakened for the third time to use the bathroom and was cursing my bladder. I was also thinking, "I guess waking up frequently is not really helping" in reference to my guide John telling me that my sleep patterns were helping me. I was not in a "bad" mood but I was not thinking positive happy thoughts either. I wanted to go back to sleep but felt wide awake. I persisted anyway. My husband had fallen asleep down stairs and I had the bed to myself. I was enjoying sprawlin

Yesterday was a really good day. I felt positive and upbeat most of the day. For the first time in ages I found myself staring at the beauty around me and soaking it up. The clouds were especially beautiful for some reason and the land was so green from all our recent rain. It felt like Spring and I let myself get caught up in a kind of "Spring fever". I felt calm and happy most of the day. It was nice to feel so at ease; no resistance was coming from me. I was just accepting of the gifts of life. Interestingly enough, I got a phone call for an interview. I have not even been thinking about looking for work. I left that concern behind me and have been focusing on other areas of my life. So, it was a nice surprise to get this phone call and interview. I once again slept without Benadryl and once again got a good night's sleep. I also chose to not drink my morning coffee and didn't get any side effects. This morning I am drinking a nice, decaffeinated herbal tea a

Day two of my sleep experiment and I got a relatively good night's sleep. I woke up feeling well-rested and positive. Today I am dropping caffeine from my morning routine to see if that helps with me getting a better sleep. I don't drink caffeine any other time than in the morning, so I will be completely caffeine free today. I expect I will get the normal caffeine withdrawal headache that I normally get for a couple of days. After that I will be fine, though. Prior to going to bed last night, I asked to be shown some of my future, to be given healing and to see all of my guides together at once. I also asked to not be shown or told anything I could not handle. I didn't expect all of that to happen in one night, and it didn't, but my dreams suggest that my future was the main topic of discussion. Part 1 The main dream that I remember was in two distinct parts. In part one I was in a storage area, similar to a warehouse but there were people there with me all get

It has been raining here for three days now and rain is forecast for every day this week. In July. In Texas. Very abnormal. The first day the high temperature only got to 70 degrees. Again, very abnormal especially when last year we had 100 degree weather for so many days I lost count. And the strangest thing is that the weather system that brought and is still bringing all this rain and cooler weather came from the East . The winds in the U.S.typically flow from West to East, not the other way around. Very odd. I was told by my guides prior to my trip to New Mexico to expect flooding. I was also warned that other natural disasters would be coming, specifically earth quakes. A couple of days ago India was hit with massive flooding. Today China was in the news for flooding. Weird. And the rain continues here in Texas. I can only hope that all this flooding is just coincidence. I can only hope that a devastating earthquake is not next on the list of natural disasters. Sleep Issu

Today I started my first graduate course out of five to receive my LPC certification. I am on my way to becoming a licensed professional counselor! Sunday, when the coursework and syllabus appeared online for me to view, I became a bit indecisive about whether I wanted to keep going. I finished my graduate coursework for my master's in school counseling a couple of weeks ago, so I keep feeling DONE. Yet, to get my LPC certification, I have to continue on. It won't take me long - I will be done early Spring 2014 - but I was feeling so unmotivated. I took some time to think about it and was reminded of my primary reason for pursuing my LPC - to be able to use my counseling license along with my spiritual gifts to help people. I went online, researching others who were already doing what I wanted to do. They were out there and it reassured me that what I wanted to do could be done. So, I went ahead and did my first week's assignments. When I finished, I felt a bit co

After my interesting experience with binaural beats earlier in the day, I decided to try it out before bed. Unfortunately, my husband's snoring could be heard through the binaural beats even when I increased the volume. Also, the earphones were quite uncomfortable and noticeable. I ended up moving to another bed downstairs but again could not relax as much as I needed. I did listen for about 32 minutes and experienced some similar sensations to my previous attempt - semi-lucid dreams and heavy, numb feeling limbs - but 32 minutes was far too long in my opinion. When I turned off the binaural beats, my ears rang for a while and I could not go to sleep. I think I had the volume up too loud. I also again felt discombobulated for a short time afterward. You may be curious why I am even trying binaural beats. Well, I have been trying to astral for a couple of months without success. When I say "trying" I merely mean that I have been mediating before bed and asking my g

Since my dream last night involved hearing binaural beats which then led me to a lucid state, I decided to try one this afternoon. I must say the experience intrigued me. I downloaded an MP3 of free binaural beats from a website and then put it on my ipod to listen to. I found a comfortable place, laid on my back and closed my eyes. At first I thought it just sounded weird but it was bearable. The sounds did not distract me but seemed to lull me into a bit of a zoned-out state. I think that is the point, though. The sounds eventually lulled me into a semi-lucid dream. I say semi-lucid dream because I was aware that I was talking with someone and was following their story. A young man was telling me how, as a boy, he witnessed a murder and I can still see the picture vividly in my mind of this young, sandy-haired boy hiding near a doorway and watching as a strange man crept into his living space. I  also heard him as an older man, telling me the story. I did not finish seeing this