Living Life in Between

My first day of "class" was successful. I left feeling positive, open, and extroverted compared to my normal introversion. I return today and will work with a partner to practice - drill -  communication. The first to be drilled is confront. Ha! Just what I need because, though I very often excel at confronting life and situations I encounter in life, I have been avoidant of late. I will first just sit comfortably with my eyes closed for a length of time across from my partner whose eyes will be open. After that I get to do it with eyes open and looking my partner directly in the eyes and am not allowed to look away. I will master the first without an issue but the second always brings out some interesting manifestations, usually nervousness and sometimes even grief. If you have ever looked anyone in the eyes for a long time without talking it can be quite unnerving and exposing. That is EXACTLY what it is suppose to do in the drill.  I have successfully completed th...

Today I've been unsteady but making progress on my new (old) path. I am scheduled to begin my processing next weekend. I am partnered with a friend who is well versed in metaphysical and the many strange and bizarre experiences I've had which is a positive. There is fear following me despite my knowing that this is the right thing for me to do. Fear that is unfounded which means I most likely will encounter exactly that which I do not wish to confront - which is the whole point! Currently my main goal is to eradicate the ever increasing panic attacks that I've been having since June. They are becoming a nuisance and interrupting my life. Yesterday I had one just driving to a hair appointment! There seems to be no rhyme or reason to them. I can't pinpoint the triggers and so I am constantly on the lookout for even the slightest change in my body suggestive of panic. It sucks and has proven beyond my ability to handle. Every one of them feels like a near-death experi...