Messages From Beyond
A friend and I were talking about an issue she has been plagued with for many years. Her father passed away from an illness and she had promised him she would be there by his side so he would not be alone. Her father had always told her he wanted the death of a Shaman and she had agreed to help him achieve that but had been unable to get the hospital to release him so that he could pass away peacefully at home. One day, she had left his bedside in the hospital and gone down the hall with her husband when she felt him leave his body. In a panic, she rushed back to his bedside only to find that he had indeed already crossed over. Her grief at losing him was overwhelming but her guilt for not being there when he passed was more intense than any other emotion involved in his death. She felt she was a bad person for not being there for her father, so much so that she had convinced herself that she was a bad person altogether. Because of her not being able to forgive herself for not being by her father's side when he passed, she was unable to move past the grief and devastation his death caused her, was unable to accept her role in his death, and experienced all the raw emotion of his death and the events surrounding it every time her father's name was brought up. It was as if she was stuck in the moment of his death and unable to release herself from it.
Many times my friend approached me for a mediumship reading. She desperately wanted to communicate with her father. I, however, was unable to connect with him or anyone in Spirit for her because of my connection with her. I told her to pay attention to signs and to speak to him as if he were still alive. She told me she did, but it was not helping her get past his death.
My friend recently took a college class. In the class, the professor asked each of them to recount the death of a loved one and how they reacted to it. She shared her story with her class, breaking down in tears and shaking from the impact it still had on her. After class, a classmate approached her. She didn't know this classmate very well and was a bit uncomfortable since she had just wept in front of the whole class. The classmate told her, "You said your father wanted the death of a Shaman?" My friend said, "Yes". The classmate went on to say, "In death, a Shaman prefers to be alone, so you gave your father exactly what he wanted. He purposefully chose to die when you weren't there". This information was life changing for my friend. She realized that this classmate was correct. All these years she had not even noticed that her father did indeed die the way he wanted - like a Shaman. The intense guilt was immediately lifted from her shoulders and she realized she was not a bad person at all. The realization was invaluable and it came out of the blue from a complete stranger.
This story just goes to show that when Spirit has a message to give to a loved one who is still living and struggling on this Earth, then they can get their message across. It took my friend over ten years to get her message. It was there before then, however, had she been willing, able and emotionally ready to accept it. Her father had tried to communicate with her in dreams, but the meaning was always lost in symbolism and not direct enough for my friend to get a clear message. Instead, her guilt and pain overwhelmed her every time she had a dream of him. She saw signs in nature as well, such as when a bird, one her father often remarked was his favorite, got caught inside her house and then, even after being released, continued to frequent her home. Instead of feeling the bird was a message of how well her father was doing and that he loved her and did not blame her, my friend saw the bird being trapped as a sign that her father was trapped and it disturbed her to no end. Eventually those kinds of signs ended, as if her father had given up on communicating with her. Then this message came out of the blue and was exactly what she needed to hear. Her father never gave up because he knew she would eventually be ready to recognize that she was indeed a good and loving person and did not let him down.
So, if you are struggling with the death of a loved one, remember that your grief and blame of yourself is blocking their messages from getting through to you. Similarly, any negative emotion towards them such as anger, blame or resentment can also block communication. It is very important that you come to peace with their passing because they are already at peace. All your loved ones want for you is for you, too, to feel that peace and to rejoice in the fact that they are in a better place. They want you to remember that one day, you too, will be there with them, and until that day, they will be with you in spirit.
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