In Present Time
I have been experiencing something amazing lately that I can only explain as me being in present time or as some would say, being in the "now".
For over a week on my drive to and from work I have been feeling this peace flow over me and a happiness I cannot describe. It all starts with me feeling compelled to look around me at all of life and it's goings-on. I look at the trees, the birds, the plants and the clouds/sky. I even look at the man-made things like cars and buildings, utility poles and street signs. As I looked on these things that comprise my route to work each day all I could think of was how beautiful they all were and how amazing life is. It was as if time stood still for me and I was there experiencing the moment in all its beauty.
One specific moment still stands out in my memory. Every day, at approximately 7:30am, I pass by a young teenage girl standing on the corner waiting for the bus. She is always there. Sometimes she has red hair, sometime black or black with streaks of blue. She usually has on cute clothing and carries a heavy backpack while listening to her IPod. I see her every day and usually I just barely notice her there. I usually consider her a sign that I am on time to work and that is all. But this particular drive into work I saw her and I smiled and thought to myself, "One day when I have left this body and am recalling my life I am going to come to this moment. This very moment will be here for me to look back upon. It is a good time in my life and I will look at it fondly". I saw the young girl, standing in her place as usual and I felt love for her and remembered a time when I saw her smile and wave at the bus driver of another bus as it drove by. I remember seeing her do it a few other times as well and I thought to myself, "She is a good person". I have felt many times like slowing down and saying hi to her or starting a conversation with her but have always continued on so as to not freak her out as so many kids are told to be careful of strangers and not talk to them. But that day, when I saw her, I smiled and felt pure joy and love for this stranger on the corner, who apparently was not a stranger to me at all, but someone I know in the deeper, more spiritual sense of the word.
I can't recall ever having the feeling of being in the present time for such a long period of time. Usually it is just fleeting moments that I happen to catch myself living in the present, in the "now", moment-to-moment. To be able to have it every day for two weeks has been a huge blessings and taught me so much about myself. I recognized that so often I am thinking ahead, of things I have to do, of the upcoming day and how I am going to handle the day-to-day business of my job and duties. Other time I have caught myself thinking of the past or dwelling on some past issue or lessons. In these last two weeks my mind has not been on such things. Instead I am not thinking of the future or the past. I am not thinking of anything in particular, really. I am just noticing life and enjoying being in life. In those moments it actually feels like I slow down and life catches up with me; like there is no time, really.
I also realized that I have spent much of my life resenting my day-to-day routine, seeing each pattern as a curse and hoping for some slight change or random event to liven up my life. Yet, I am a person of habit and find comfort in routine. I get up every morning and do the same things in the same order. My drive to work is part of that routine. And in the last two weeks I have recognized that I like routine, that routine is comforting in that it helps me maintain control of my life and in itself, routine is life. All of the world has a routine. It is how order is maintained and how life moves on. It is beautiful in itself and I have the power to change it, even in the smallest way, and to have that power is beautiful as well.
And I still feel that one day, when I have left this body behind and am reviewing my life lived that I will go back to those seemingly mundane, habitual and repetitive routine times in my life and I will think, "Beautiful".
For over a week on my drive to and from work I have been feeling this peace flow over me and a happiness I cannot describe. It all starts with me feeling compelled to look around me at all of life and it's goings-on. I look at the trees, the birds, the plants and the clouds/sky. I even look at the man-made things like cars and buildings, utility poles and street signs. As I looked on these things that comprise my route to work each day all I could think of was how beautiful they all were and how amazing life is. It was as if time stood still for me and I was there experiencing the moment in all its beauty.
One specific moment still stands out in my memory. Every day, at approximately 7:30am, I pass by a young teenage girl standing on the corner waiting for the bus. She is always there. Sometimes she has red hair, sometime black or black with streaks of blue. She usually has on cute clothing and carries a heavy backpack while listening to her IPod. I see her every day and usually I just barely notice her there. I usually consider her a sign that I am on time to work and that is all. But this particular drive into work I saw her and I smiled and thought to myself, "One day when I have left this body and am recalling my life I am going to come to this moment. This very moment will be here for me to look back upon. It is a good time in my life and I will look at it fondly". I saw the young girl, standing in her place as usual and I felt love for her and remembered a time when I saw her smile and wave at the bus driver of another bus as it drove by. I remember seeing her do it a few other times as well and I thought to myself, "She is a good person". I have felt many times like slowing down and saying hi to her or starting a conversation with her but have always continued on so as to not freak her out as so many kids are told to be careful of strangers and not talk to them. But that day, when I saw her, I smiled and felt pure joy and love for this stranger on the corner, who apparently was not a stranger to me at all, but someone I know in the deeper, more spiritual sense of the word.
I can't recall ever having the feeling of being in the present time for such a long period of time. Usually it is just fleeting moments that I happen to catch myself living in the present, in the "now", moment-to-moment. To be able to have it every day for two weeks has been a huge blessings and taught me so much about myself. I recognized that so often I am thinking ahead, of things I have to do, of the upcoming day and how I am going to handle the day-to-day business of my job and duties. Other time I have caught myself thinking of the past or dwelling on some past issue or lessons. In these last two weeks my mind has not been on such things. Instead I am not thinking of the future or the past. I am not thinking of anything in particular, really. I am just noticing life and enjoying being in life. In those moments it actually feels like I slow down and life catches up with me; like there is no time, really.
I also realized that I have spent much of my life resenting my day-to-day routine, seeing each pattern as a curse and hoping for some slight change or random event to liven up my life. Yet, I am a person of habit and find comfort in routine. I get up every morning and do the same things in the same order. My drive to work is part of that routine. And in the last two weeks I have recognized that I like routine, that routine is comforting in that it helps me maintain control of my life and in itself, routine is life. All of the world has a routine. It is how order is maintained and how life moves on. It is beautiful in itself and I have the power to change it, even in the smallest way, and to have that power is beautiful as well.
And I still feel that one day, when I have left this body behind and am reviewing my life lived that I will go back to those seemingly mundane, habitual and repetitive routine times in my life and I will think, "Beautiful".
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