Clear Costa
"Now that which a person can create cannot have any great effect upon him. Anything that a person can create, change or destroy doesn't have any large value to him. You wouldn't think a dollar bill worth anything if you could make all of them that you possibly could want. You wouldn't think they were worth a thing. As a matter of fact, they wouldn't be worth a thing. But you wouldn't put or place any value on them. But those things which an individual cannot create - or believes he cannot create, rather - he believes he can't create something, oh-oh, that means that he can procure it only through an exchange and a communication of some sort or a line of some sort. And we have, then: only those things which a person cannot create, change or destroy can be aberrative to that person." ~ L. Ron Hubbard, The Philadelphia Doctorate Course, lecture from 2 December 1952, "A Thetan Creates by Postulates - Q2"
The quote above jumped off the pages of the magazine I was reading yesterday. It completed the messages I received in my dreams which at first did not make much sense to me. I rarely read the Scientology magazines we receive in the mail periodically. I am just too busy. But yesterday I decided to read one while I was eating breakfast.
You may wonder what messages I received in my dreams. Though the dreams are almost all lost to me now, I did not forget the message I heard as I awoke: "Clear costa". Now, that didn't make much sense to me in of itself, but considering the dream I had before involved me talking with a man about continuing my auditing and going clear, this message made sense, at least the "clear" part did. But what about costa?
Costa means "coast" in Spanish, but when I heard it I thought of the word "cost". Both make sense, though. Auditing costs money and going clear costs quite a bit of it and I had been discussing the cost the day before. I had been discussing leaving for Florida to complete my auditing and make it to the state of Clear just the day of this dream. And, as you all know, Florida has some amazing coastlines and beaches.
For those of you unfamiliar with the state of Clear, it basically means you are freed from your reactive mind, that part of you which causes you to act and say things which you do not understand and which are not in line with who you really are. My husband attained this state before I met him and I have long wanted to attain it. I know in my heart that it is what will help me overcome those things in my life which have long held me back.
Belief
The quote above jumped out at me because what it says is so very true. I was immediately reminded of a conversation I had with my guide after I became aware of my spiritual gifts. I asked him why I could do what I was able to do (speak to Spirit, see auras, heal, etc). His simple reply was, "Because you don't believe you can't". Ever since then I have slowly become more and more doubtful of my gifts because others around me showed disbelief. Eventually, I convinced myself my gifts were gone or they were illusions created by me to keep me entertained. Yet still, so many years later, I continue to surprise myself when I give a reading or speak with Spirit.
The key to this quote is the last part: "And we have, then: only those things which a person cannot create, change or destroy can be aberrative to that person". My beliefs about what I am capable of have been molded by this physical environment. It says that I am limited in what I can create; that I cannot materialize money out of thin air - that is impossible. Yet, what if I could materialize what I wanted? What if those beliefs that I attach to things in my life were not there? Of what then would I be capable of?
My husband would say I would be capable of so much more - more than I ever would think possible. He has seen others materialize amazing things - money, circumstance, ability. He has been and is capable of such things. I have seen this personally since I have met him. I have known this to be true for me, at least with my spiritual gifts and in those things which I know will happen before they do. I have experienced my true ability to some extent when I leave my body. It is an amazing thing to be out of body and the things one can do when out of body would blow anyone's mind. To be able to do those things while in a body seems impossible, but then why would it be? It is this universe with its barriers and finiteness that tricks us into thinking we are a body and not Spirit, that we are incapable of controlling that which is around us. It is a LIE.
Why Not?
As I considered my dreams and the quote above I began to remember the messages from my guides encouraging me to break free from my own beliefs that I am a limited being. "Why not?" has been asked of me so often when I have considered doing things that I talk myself out being they are "too risky" or "ridiculous". But, really, there is no limit to what I can do. This is my life and I can create from it whatever I like.
I am often asked, "What do you want?" by my guides as well. Why? Because it is so very important that we know what we want and then have no doubt that we can have it. I know what I don't want. I don't want to be imprisoned by my responsibilities - to feel I have to work a job to keep the material things I have. It slowly destroys/degrades a person to do that. I know, I have been doing it all my life.
Finish It
I stopped auditing back in January because I had to go back to work. I did not finish the process. This is no good. I need to finish it. I will be returning to auditing next week but I want to keep going. Because, honestly, what I want is to feel like I feel when I have regained the joy and amazing high of life. I have felt this so rarely in my adult life and when have I felt it? When I have done auditing. I regain a part of myself each time I get auditing and, well, I really need to get me back.
The fearful me says, "No, you can't. It costs too much money. You need to keep making money to pay off bills. Your family will think you are crazy. You don't know anyone there...." and on and on and on. But my heart aches when I consider it and I have to hold back tears because I know there is a part of me that knows the truth. It is time to be set free. To heal and be whole again.
I was told out of the blue the other day as I worried over this topic. "It will come to you" and I knew what it meant. I was worried about what to do and when to do it and I knew that the answer would come as a feeling; an impulse. You know how when you get an idea and you don't question it, you just do it? That is how it will be. That's how it should be.
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