Music of the Night
As I was laying in bed last night trying to go to sleep, I began to see images flash through my mind. This is not unusual. It typically means I am nearing sleep and sometimes it means I am nearing the point where I can exit my body. I began seeing images of people and things long ago after my spiritual awakening, so I am use to having these things occur. However, the frequency of such occurrences has decreased significantly since 2007. I guess because I have been so busy creating and raising a family.
Inner Child
I really took no notice of the images because I was talking to one of my guides as I drifted off to sleep. We were discussing my current concern about not enjoying life. I started the conversation but it felt as if it were one that had been started previously, though I had no memory of it. When I brought up the question of how I could enjoy life more and my guide told me that I needed to find her, the me buried deep inside who held my joy. When he said this, I knew he meant what many call the "inner child" - the one who feels joy, loves life and lives in the moment. I also thought of my 4 month old son and how he was pure joy to me.
When I recognized what my guide was saying, I noticed emotion begin to well up from within. However, rather than be overwhelmed with it, I merely saw it there and made it stay. I did not allow myself to feel it. This was odd to me as it seemed that I could see it there within in, a ball of greenish-blue, swirling color. If I touched it with my mind, I would feel the emotion. If I let it go, I merely knew it was there. When I questioned my guide about it, he said I could control my emotion and I understood that I could. It was very interesting to me. I remembered in my early astral travels how I had to control my emotion or else I would not maintain astral. Perhaps I could do the same in life?
Visit
The conversation continued and I must have started to doze. That is when the images became more clear. I don't remember most of them but I do remember the last one. As I saw it I mentally exclaimed, "That was Nanny!".
The image I saw was of my grandmother with her back to me. I saw her hair pulled up in a bun like she always wore it, I could even make out the streaks of gray in her fading brown hair.
Excited, I wondered if she were there and immediately knew she was. I said to my guide, "She's here, isn't she?" Without waiting for an answer, I began to talk to her. It was not long before I heard her reply, "I miss you".
After acknowledging her and perceiving her message, I began to allow myself to drift back to sleep. I was still thinking about what my guide and I had been talking about. He was telling me, "We will help you". I was asking if I could see change my astral experiences so that I could learn how to release my inner child. My guide mentioned family and as if he and I became one, I knew that my family would come to visit my dreams. I specifically thought of those that were living and began to fantasize about astral traveling with them, especially with my baby boy.
It was at that time that my thoughts were interrupted by a voice calling my name. It was very loud, as if I were being yelled at. The sound of my name being yelled startled me. I instantly recognized that my grandmother had called my name. I told her, "You don't have to yell. You scare me when you do that. You made my heart pound!".
I immediately felt her close and knew she was with me. My heart continued to pound, but not because I was scared but because I had experienced something so rare. Not only was it my own family member who was trying to contact me, which is rare in itself, but the way she went about it was new and unusual even for Spirit who is not family.
What was new about it? Yes I hear Spirit often but 99% of the time it is as if it is my own thought. The voice comes from within me yet is separate. It took me a long time to learn to differentiate between my own thoughts and those of Spirit. I am pretty adept at it now and my guide tells me they choose to speak with me this way for two reasons: 1. I can hear them that way and 2. It takes more energy and effort on Spirit's part to make themselves more noticeable. I also, personally, think they don't want to scare me or freak me out as it always makes my heart pound. It is similar to how one would feel if they were in bed trying to sleep and a strange voice yelled at them.
I will try to explain how I heard my name called but it is difficult. It echoed in my head rather than coming from outside of me and sounded as if it moved from one side of my head to the other, mimicking someone walking around behind me. I have heard something similar in movies when they try to replicate what it might sound like if someone were hearing voices. It was very similar so whoever came up with that did a good job of replicating it.
After finally calming down from the initial surprise and awe of being spoken to this way, I settled down and began to talk with my grandmother. I figured she must have something to say if she was going to yell at me, you know?
We talked for quite a while. She told me how smart she thought I was and how much she loved me and missed me. I told her I was not excited about starting my new job in two weeks and she said, "You are smart" as if that were going to dissolve all my concerns. She also indicated that I was worrying over something I should not, especially my worry about working with young children. The image she sent me in my mind was older children - tweens mostly.
My grandmother seemed different from when we last talked which was about a week after her death this past May. I asked her about it because she was so bubbly and happy then and now she seemed more calm and focused. She explained to me that it was still her and that when I last spoke to her she was reveling in the feeling that comes when a person is released from the burden of life and body. She explained that the feeling is such a release that there is a celebration of being reunited with the true Self. She then told me that our true nature is joy. When we return Home we remember that and overflow with ourselves.
We continued to talk for a while after that. It was very obvious to me that she and I were more connected than I ever thought. I did not feel a strong connection with her in this life. I loved her, yes, but I did not trust her and felt a distance between us. She told me that was okay and said, "We are friends". I knew instantly that she was my soul family. I thought how odd it was that I never felt that in life. I also realized that she was able to speak to me more than my other family in Spirit because I did not grieve her passing. Rather than being hurt by it, she took advantage of it so that she could speak with me. I asked her to continue talking with me in my dreams because I needed to rest. Unfortunately, I could not fall asleep. I kept feeling like I would be missing something if I did sleep.
The Music of the Night
When I did finally fall asleep, I was awakened by my baby crying and had to spend a while walking him in the carriage to get him to go back to sleep. Then my other son woke up. I ended up awake for about a half hour.
When I did fall asleep I found myself in a mansion. I was dressed in 19th century clothing and wore a white, lace shawl over my shoulders. I heard a woman who was with me call me, "Mistress". I knew instantly that she was the nanny to my child, though I did not see my child.
A man, my husband I presume, came in and was very abrupt in his speaking. He ordered us to wait for him while he was at court and then he left. I remember thinking it was normal for him to go to court. He was also dressed in similar clothing to my own, a white collar and tan, embroidered vest.
When left alone, the nanny and I began to talk. I don't remember what we spoke about but I do believe she was my grandmother from this life, who was also took care of children. She even appeared similarly, with dark brown, wavy hair.
I remember we went up and down a spiral staircase and then she began to sing. I recognized the song and
sang with her, but mostly listened to her. As she sang, we were transported into a cave with tunnels. She stood at the edge of a clear pool of water in the cave as she sang. It had moss and other aquatic plants in it and I could see aquarium fish in it - large, red guppies specifically.
I knew my grandmother was singing "The Music of the Night" from The Phantom of the Opera. I began singing along during one of the times when the song hit a high notes. My grandmother sang a lower note and I knew it was because she always sang alto and that I was suppose to sing soprano. I then looked at the pond and said it was beautiful and pointed out the red guppy. It came to the surface as if it thought I were feeding it. It much larger than it should have been, at least the length of one of my fingers.
I awoke intent on finding the lyrics to the song and when I heard it I got goose bumps all over. I am familiar with the song from my high school days. We played it in marching band. I never learned the words, though. I am not certain of the message but I know that music plays a very important role in my life, both here and on the Other Side. It fills me with joy and being that is what I was talking with my guides about before bed, I am certain they wanted me to remember and tap into that joy.
Inner Child
When I recognized what my guide was saying, I noticed emotion begin to well up from within. However, rather than be overwhelmed with it, I merely saw it there and made it stay. I did not allow myself to feel it. This was odd to me as it seemed that I could see it there within in, a ball of greenish-blue, swirling color. If I touched it with my mind, I would feel the emotion. If I let it go, I merely knew it was there. When I questioned my guide about it, he said I could control my emotion and I understood that I could. It was very interesting to me. I remembered in my early astral travels how I had to control my emotion or else I would not maintain astral. Perhaps I could do the same in life?
Visit
The conversation continued and I must have started to doze. That is when the images became more clear. I don't remember most of them but I do remember the last one. As I saw it I mentally exclaimed, "That was Nanny!".
The image I saw was of my grandmother with her back to me. I saw her hair pulled up in a bun like she always wore it, I could even make out the streaks of gray in her fading brown hair.
Excited, I wondered if she were there and immediately knew she was. I said to my guide, "She's here, isn't she?" Without waiting for an answer, I began to talk to her. It was not long before I heard her reply, "I miss you".
After acknowledging her and perceiving her message, I began to allow myself to drift back to sleep. I was still thinking about what my guide and I had been talking about. He was telling me, "We will help you". I was asking if I could see change my astral experiences so that I could learn how to release my inner child. My guide mentioned family and as if he and I became one, I knew that my family would come to visit my dreams. I specifically thought of those that were living and began to fantasize about astral traveling with them, especially with my baby boy.
It was at that time that my thoughts were interrupted by a voice calling my name. It was very loud, as if I were being yelled at. The sound of my name being yelled startled me. I instantly recognized that my grandmother had called my name. I told her, "You don't have to yell. You scare me when you do that. You made my heart pound!".
I immediately felt her close and knew she was with me. My heart continued to pound, but not because I was scared but because I had experienced something so rare. Not only was it my own family member who was trying to contact me, which is rare in itself, but the way she went about it was new and unusual even for Spirit who is not family.
I will try to explain how I heard my name called but it is difficult. It echoed in my head rather than coming from outside of me and sounded as if it moved from one side of my head to the other, mimicking someone walking around behind me. I have heard something similar in movies when they try to replicate what it might sound like if someone were hearing voices. It was very similar so whoever came up with that did a good job of replicating it.
After finally calming down from the initial surprise and awe of being spoken to this way, I settled down and began to talk with my grandmother. I figured she must have something to say if she was going to yell at me, you know?
We talked for quite a while. She told me how smart she thought I was and how much she loved me and missed me. I told her I was not excited about starting my new job in two weeks and she said, "You are smart" as if that were going to dissolve all my concerns. She also indicated that I was worrying over something I should not, especially my worry about working with young children. The image she sent me in my mind was older children - tweens mostly.
My grandmother seemed different from when we last talked which was about a week after her death this past May. I asked her about it because she was so bubbly and happy then and now she seemed more calm and focused. She explained to me that it was still her and that when I last spoke to her she was reveling in the feeling that comes when a person is released from the burden of life and body. She explained that the feeling is such a release that there is a celebration of being reunited with the true Self. She then told me that our true nature is joy. When we return Home we remember that and overflow with ourselves.
We continued to talk for a while after that. It was very obvious to me that she and I were more connected than I ever thought. I did not feel a strong connection with her in this life. I loved her, yes, but I did not trust her and felt a distance between us. She told me that was okay and said, "We are friends". I knew instantly that she was my soul family. I thought how odd it was that I never felt that in life. I also realized that she was able to speak to me more than my other family in Spirit because I did not grieve her passing. Rather than being hurt by it, she took advantage of it so that she could speak with me. I asked her to continue talking with me in my dreams because I needed to rest. Unfortunately, I could not fall asleep. I kept feeling like I would be missing something if I did sleep.
The Music of the Night
When I did finally fall asleep, I was awakened by my baby crying and had to spend a while walking him in the carriage to get him to go back to sleep. Then my other son woke up. I ended up awake for about a half hour.
When I did fall asleep I found myself in a mansion. I was dressed in 19th century clothing and wore a white, lace shawl over my shoulders. I heard a woman who was with me call me, "Mistress". I knew instantly that she was the nanny to my child, though I did not see my child.
A man, my husband I presume, came in and was very abrupt in his speaking. He ordered us to wait for him while he was at court and then he left. I remember thinking it was normal for him to go to court. He was also dressed in similar clothing to my own, a white collar and tan, embroidered vest.
When left alone, the nanny and I began to talk. I don't remember what we spoke about but I do believe she was my grandmother from this life, who was also took care of children. She even appeared similarly, with dark brown, wavy hair.
I remember we went up and down a spiral staircase and then she began to sing. I recognized the song and
sang with her, but mostly listened to her. As she sang, we were transported into a cave with tunnels. She stood at the edge of a clear pool of water in the cave as she sang. It had moss and other aquatic plants in it and I could see aquarium fish in it - large, red guppies specifically.
I knew my grandmother was singing "The Music of the Night" from The Phantom of the Opera. I began singing along during one of the times when the song hit a high notes. My grandmother sang a lower note and I knew it was because she always sang alto and that I was suppose to sing soprano. I then looked at the pond and said it was beautiful and pointed out the red guppy. It came to the surface as if it thought I were feeding it. It much larger than it should have been, at least the length of one of my fingers.
I awoke intent on finding the lyrics to the song and when I heard it I got goose bumps all over. I am familiar with the song from my high school days. We played it in marching band. I never learned the words, though. I am not certain of the message but I know that music plays a very important role in my life, both here and on the Other Side. It fills me with joy and being that is what I was talking with my guides about before bed, I am certain they wanted me to remember and tap into that joy.
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