Renewal
The day before yesterday (Wednesday), out of the blue I had an idea to offer readings on my Facebook page and in the group I created. I did not think about it, I just did it. As I think back on the decision, I am not even sure where the idea came from.
I did not expect the response I got, either. There were so many takers that I had to put a deadline before I ended up over my head. Part of me was excited to have the opportunity to get to do so many spirit guide readings while the other part of me was a little anxious. I had not given so many readings in one day since the day I met my husband in 2007 at a Body, Mind, Spirit Expo!
I ended up doing all twenty-something readings in one day. I actually thought it would take more than a day, but I found that connecting to each person's guides came easily as did their messages. I found myself not even thinking but just typing the messages as they came to me. I also ran into some passed family members along the way, which wasn't a big surprise to me as family takes precedence over spirit guides and will come through first if they have a message to relay.
In the end I felt rejuvenated and alive. Sometimes connecting with Spirit can be mentally draining, but for some reason this just wasn't. Guides are very good about holding back their energy when/if needed and I believe this was the case for me. Towards the end of the readings I began to feel that I needed to "slow down" and "take my time". I listened to this intuitive feeling and backed off a bit, allowing myself some time to recuperate. I had awakened with a horrible sore throat and knew I was coming down with a cold, so I made sure to eat and hydrate properly.
Towards the end of the day I could feel what I can only describe as a thick energy surrounding me. It felt dense but not threatening. It was as if I were carrying something/someone around with me. If I were to try and describe it visually it would be like I was enveloped in a huge, protective balloon that extended for several feet around me. I felt some alarm at this but when I attempted to "look" at it, I got a feeling that it was okay and to not worry. So I let it alone. I assumed it was my own guides protecting me from the over abundance of family in Spirit that often comes when I tune into an individual's (or in this case many individual's) energy.
Gatekeeper
In looking back on yesterday and the strange, dense cloud of energy I felt surrounding me, I realize that I was indeed being protected by my guides. I didn't ask for it, but years ago, when developing my mediumship abilities, I had to learn to request help when overwhelmed by Spirit. At that time in my development I learned, via connections on the internet, that everyone has a Gatekeeper who assists in keeping Spirit at bay so as to not overwhelm their charge. Me, being so exuberant and fearless in my early years of Spirit communication, often opened myself up entirely to Spirit. At first I learned to handle Spirit by requesting they form a line and come to me one by one. However, this did not always work. Family members in Spirit who are very stubborn or pushy almost always cheated and found their way to the front of the line and interrupted other more passive individuals. So, eventually I found that I needed to call upon my guides for assistance. Turns out, it was much easier to do that than to try and control it all by myself.
Ultimately, it all worked out and I began to "see" Spirit as well as sense the "gateway" that was formed by my guides when I attempted connection to the Other Side. However, I never once remember feeling such a huge amount of energy envelop me as did yesterday. Perhaps it was there and just had become so familiar with it that I didn't even notice it? Or, maybe this is something new, something I need to be aware of that perhaps will lead to an expansion of my ability?
Merging
All this contemplation of gateways and energy has me wondering again about the merging my guide told me was occurring. I believe not long ago, after reading a post in the astral projection group I am a member of, I have a realization about this merging process. You know how, when you are thinking of how something works or trying to picture something in your mind, and you have an "ah ha" moment that it seems like a missing piece has finally been found making the picture complete? Well, what was said did this for me.
The post in the group was about how when someone has successfully merged their ego self and their higher self that being in the physical and the astral/spiritual becomes one in the same experience. This is fascinating to me and I wonder, how this could happen and, if it did, what it would be like? And, if this has happened to others (members of the group claimed it had happened to them) then could it possibly happen to me? What would that mean for my life? For my connection with other both in Spirit and in the physical?
I also wonder if my sensing this new, protective energy around me has anything to do with the merging process?
Flashes of Spirit
For a few months now I have been getting flashes of Spirit throughout my day. This occurs when I am going about my normal, mundane activities. Out of the corner of my eye I will see a human shape. Sometimes I will get an entire flash of an individual. I will turn, and there will be nothing there, yet in my mind I can see them clearly and feel their energy. At first I just shrugged it off to pregnancy hormones, fatigue or coincidence. I should know better than that! But yesterday it happened again and this time it was very, very obvious and clear.
I actually jumped the guy surprised me so much. I saw a tall man wearing buckskin standing to my right. I can still see his clothes, the pores of the leather and the rich tan color. I can see the strips of leather that hung off the sleeves and pants. I never got a good look at his face, but the energy said male and it felt like someone was right there next to me!
Is this the result of merging? Will I not only see Spirit and guides in my dreams but also in waking life? Is it even possible? I think it is. I have actually asked for it to happen for many years, begging my guides to help me "see" and "hear" in my waking, physical state. But part of me is afraid of it. Afraid it will make me seem insane to those around me. Afraid it will make it hard for me to distinguish between the two realities.
But as I type this I get a feeling that the separation between the two worlds will be tangible; noticeable to me. And again I see the vision I was shown way back in 2003 when my guides first made contact. The vision of me standing in a foggy haze, between worlds. On one side the mundane and on the other side the spiritual. The vision doesn't scare me anymore. Instead I am curious and excited.
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