Wasp Nests
Warning
I slept very deeply last night until my third wakening to use the restroom. When I got back into bed I saw that it was 3:30am and knew instantly that I would have trouble going back to sleep. I had a nagging feeling and knew my guides were signaling me to communicate with them. I had felt this signal prior to going to bed and had considered doing self-healing but opted to use my downtime reading. At 3:30am it seemed my guides had had enough of me delaying listening to them and so I did in fact toss and turn rather than go back to sleep.
In my frustration I finally asked them what was up. I ran into a guide that I am not familiar with, at least not consciously. I did, however, know to call him "Michael", which surprised me. He was reminding me of the dream I had not long ago that forewarned me of this baby coming earlier than expected. I asked him why he was bringing it up and he said, "To prepare you". I did not like that answer and it scared me. Fear is not a good thing to have when communicating with one's guides so the rest of the information I got I will not share since I cannot guarantee the accuracy of it (too much fear on my part). However, I cannot ignore the messages I have been getting in my dreams or the feeling that I have had with this pregnancy from the beginning.
Running into the Past
I tried to go back to sleep but my guides continued to stay close. I had/have four of them around me but Michael was the most prominent. I asked to OBE or to at least get some sleep. I contemplated just getting up but it felt so good lying in bed that I eventually drifted off to sleep around 4:20am.
I found myself in a semi-lucid dream. I was in a bedroom that was unfamiliar and sitting on a bed with fluffy pillows and a plush comforter. I recall the colors were brownish and the room was dark.
I was in and out of lucidity throughout the dream. I believe that is why I was in bed in the dream as I was struggling to remain as conscious as possible and not succeeding completely. I recall talking with a man and the more I spoke with him, the more I recalled who he was. He appeared to be an ex-boyfriend of mine and I was happy to see him. I had been not so nice to this man when I was with him and I was apologetic. All I wanted to do was hug him and pull him close. I recall him being resistant but I convinced him to just hug me and get close. It was nice to be near him.
While I was hugging him I felt to be in two places. One in the bedroom and the other in a different place, a plain room with no furniture where I would talk with my guides. In this instance I was semi-lucid and we discussed my current lessons in life. I explained that I was not interested in graduating high school - I had already done that. I was told I did not have to go to school. I asked if I could skip for the day and was told I could. When told this I immediately became happier and more relaxed.
Then the scene shifted and my guide became my ex and he was taking me to a restaurant for breakfast. It was an old, white house. I thanked him for his generosity but the restaurant was closed. He then asked if I would take a picture of him in front of it and I instantly knew it was haunted. I took some photos and two older woman came by commenting on the place. I recall seeing images flash in front of my eyes of two older woman and thinking about the haunted house.
Then the scene shifted and I was back in the bedroom. I was sitting on the bed with my ex and began to think about my other ex's. I struggled to remember them but did remember the face of one and watched as my ex's face turned into the face of the ex I couldn't remember the name of. I sat there confused for a moment. What man was I with now?? I thought of my ex-husband and knew he was not who I was with but could not for the life of me remember my current husband and father of my children! This concerned me and I got flustered. Why did I have amnesia??
Eventually I did remember my current husband but it took a lot of focus within the dream to do so. Once I remembered him I was transported to yet another scene. This time I was in the back yard of my Mom's house, or what appeared to be her yard. I was talking with a guide who morphed into my current husband and then back again more than once. I was talking to him about yard work and we came upon three large, red wasp nests. They were not the normal wasp nests. Rather than being up high in a tree they were anchored to the ground and appeared like small trees. I remember thinking we needed to kill them but then was shocked to see that there was so many new wasps. Recognizing they had multiplied since we last tried to kill them I told my husband we needed to do something about them. I recall feeling a bit overwhelmed by the task at hand and thought about using a long pole to remove the nests. I eventually gave up, though, because there were so many nests and wasps.The feelings I had towards the wasps was avoidance and distaste.
Interpretation
Considering the feelings I was having when I had the above dreams, I am not surprised that I had encounters with my past and the feared red wasp. I was feeling pretty anxious about life in general when I fell asleep and so the fear likely permeated my dreams.
A red wasp in one's dream symbolizes fear, anger and negative feelings in general. The wasps were not bothering me nor were they chasing me, which is good. I was merely watching them from a distance. Since I had tried to exterminate them in the past unsuccessfully it suggests that the wasps are connected to a long-standing issue. The wasps are also multiplying, which suggests that the problem is not only unresolved but getting worse.
Since I was with my current husband watching the wasps and their nests I believe the issue to be directly linked to my marriage. There have been some long-standing issues in my marriage for a while now and I admit I have not done much to resolve them. Recently my husband and I had a disagreement and it is likely that this was coming out in my dreams. I have been worrying over the argument since it occurred and have been having feelings of anger and resentment resurface. Wasps are symbolic of my feelings resurfacing.
I am also very familiar with the school symbolism that came up. I have been considering taking a break from working but have instead continued to work despite my dissatisfaction with my work in general. I had hoped that being a counselor would help that but my exhaustion lately and the paperwork that has been my priority has not been as fulfilling as I had hoped it would be. With a new baby very soon to be joining our family I have been anxious about finances and despite wanting to stay home with my baby and just "be" for a while, I am terrified of what it might mean for us financially. It especially upsets me when my husband wants to spend more than we have and I struggle with trusting him to be the sole financial provider for the family.
It is obvious to me that I need to devote time to building trust in my husband. I feel this is more a past-life issue that is resurfacing than a present time one and is one of my life lessons. Part of me wants to take the plunge and force myself to trust him by quitting work for a time and letting him take over for a while. I am overwhelmed and really just need a good rest. However, I know better than to push myself into such a situation as I tend to overreact and it can lead to bad things. I have to find a balanced way to confront this in my life.
Why is it so hard to put trust in someone else?
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