Two Bodies
Why would I expect to be in a good mood? Because I had an interesting double body experience - well really it was an OBE but it was peculiar.
Two Bodies
It began with me being awoken by my husband opening the garage to leave for work. One of the unfortunate aspects of having a master bedroom located over the garage is that when the door is opened it is pretty loud. I heard it right through my ear plugs and so woke up with a start. I could not go back to sleep after that because the dream I had been having was so vivid and I was mulling it over.
About an hour later I heard my children wake up and turn on the t.v. downstairs. I did not want to get out of bed, though. I was so comfortable and it was chilly in the room making getting up that much more unappealing. I was a bit stiff so positioned myself somewhat on my back (can't sleep on my back because I am pregnant) and stretched myself out. It felt nice and I closed my eyes just wanting to lay there and relax.
The next thing I know I am sitting in a large, open room at a table with two women. One woman is a counselor from my old place of employment. I recognize her blonde hair and mannerisms instantly. I listen as she speaks with another woman I do not recognize. They are discussing scheduling and I listen in, ever so often I offer up my opinion but am mostly just awed by the fact that I am sitting with the counselors and that, well, I am a counselor! I tell the woman I once worked with, "It is nice to be working with you as a counselor". I do not recall her replying.
I look behind me as the other woman speaks to someone across the room. There is a woman preparing a projector as if she is about to give a presentation. There is no one else in the room. I look around and something about the space and the situation "wakes" me up. When I become lucid the scene disappears and I feel myself laying in my bed.
I have only my mental vision when I look around me so the colors are all variations of black, white and brown and the scene is very shifty, as if the room is moving in slow motion. This is the usual when I see with my mental vision, but for some reason I notice more about it than I typically do.
The room is not my bedroom but a similar room in that it is arranged the same with the door in the same place and about the same amount of space between the door and bed. I am aware of people outside of the room as I can hear them talking but cannot make out what they are saying. The bed I am laying in is very small, perhaps twin sized, while my real bed is a king. I get up and feel myself in two places as I do so - I am both in the bed and walking across the room to the door at the same time. The feeling is odd in that as I separate from my physical body there is resistance and if there had been sound (there was none) I would have heard the sound of static or Velcro.The separation is a particular feeling and I struggle with it. Why am I in both places? I want to be with the me across the room, not the me in my bed. Why am I separating so slowly and not completely?
I do end up walking to the door as if to leave but my confusion at being in two places keeps me from leaving the room. The separation ends instantly and I am back in my physical body but my consciousness is still not so aware as for me to completely wake up.
I look around the room and notice a man walking past. He has no shirt on and a white towel is wrapped around his waist. I ask him who he is and he tells me he is just passing through. For some reason I get interested in this man and invite him over to me. When he comes close he disappears but I can still feel his presence. I then feel my left leg and then my right leg lift up into the air as if they are being held or are resting on someone. I do not feel hands on me, though. The peculiar feeling of being in two places hits me again. I can feel both pairs of my legs and am willing myself to go with the legs that are raised. Unfortunately, something about me willing myself to move out of body shifts me into full awareness and I find myself settling into my physical body.
I do not open my eyes. Instead I think about what just happened and, knowing I could easily return, I let
Realizing I need to wake up, I slowly open my eyes but am instantly not in a good mood. I tell my guides I want to go back and to stay. I get messages from them to try and get me to stop considering such a thing. One familiar one is, "Think about your life". Another one I hear is, "You have much left to do". I am not pleased to hear these things.
Resistance
While I am pleased that I was able to have such an interesting OBE, I am now very on edge and cannot seem to get myself going this morning. Part of it has to do with not being able to return and stay in astral for a longer period of time. Another part of it has to do with the fact that my week long vacation is almost at an end. I do not look forward to having to wake up early and come home late from work. I do not look forward to resuming my hectic schedule. It is nice to have nothing to do.
I also notice that I am resisting something about my future. I am not certain what it is exactly but I do have a longing to return to my past; to when I was so deeply connected to the spiritual. I miss that connection and feel that no matter what I do right now, that deep connection will not return for some time. I resent the things in my life that keep me from the excitement that spiritual connection brought. I was constantly learning new things about life and myself. I was astraling frequently and able to block out the bland mundane reality that was my life whenever I wanted. That is not the case now.
Part of me wishes I had never started on the spiritual path because now that I know what I am missing it makes living in this physical reality that much harder. I will always be longing for Home. Yes, I longed for it before but it was not a conscious thing. I didn't really know what it was that was missing from my life. Now that I know, now that I have a taste of what it is that was/is lacking, I will forever yearn for it.
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