Wake up!
Yesterday was pretty much a normal day with little to suggest that there was any "bad" news around the corner. I was warned that something would occur yesterday, but when it didn't I figured I must have misinterpreted the message I received.
Last night I went to bed as usual and fell asleep without any problem because I read my book. However, I was awakened at 2:42am in tears from a bad dream.
Mom Going to Prison
In the dream I was in what appeared to be an middle ages or older village. There were round, wooden houses with hay stacked roofs and I was with a group of people, "family". We were going through the houses but I don't remember much about what we were doing until we entered the final house. In the middle of this house was a wooden contraption with tiny, wooden plates all over it. It went to the ceiling and spun around on an axis. A man with me took it down and I remember being excited to learn it was a machine for cooking multiple pancakes. I even remember eating some and enjoying eating them.
Then the dream goes outside the huts/houses. I am with my Mom. She is preparing to go away. I remember seeing mountains behind us with a slight snow cover. Mom was bundled up in a blanket and looking sad. I remember that I was upset because I felt an injustice had been done. She was about to go away to prison for a long time because she had helped someone. I remember saying, "It is not fair!" and then breaking down into tears.
I woke up in tears and that is when I couldn't go back to sleep. My mind instantly filled with all my worries. The top two worries: work and my sister.
After trying to quiet my mind unsuccessfully for almost an hour, I finally decided I needed to get up and do something about my work situation. I wrote an email to my bosses. It was amazing how quickly and smoothly the words flew off my fingertips. When I read over it, it was perfect and very professional. I sent it and felt heaps better.
When I laid back down I started to think about my worries again. I remember that I drifted back to sleep for a little bit and had a mini-dream about potatoes. That woke me up and I think went back to sleep.
Flying Dump Truck
When I fell back to sleep I found myself standing in my own driveway watching as a car rushed by. I remember wondering who it was. Then a dump truck came flying by and I jumped on top. When I was on top of it I realized it was spinning and going really, really fast, faster than anything normal. I also remember saying, "I am dreaming".
As soon as I realized I was dreaming I jumped off the truck and flew towards the trees in front of me. However, my heart was not in it and all my worries came flooding back to me as I tried to enjoy the experience of flying (my favorite thing to do in astral). I remember watching the colors go from vivid to blurry and then slowly fade. I saw tree branches and swirls behind my eyelids and felt my astral body settle down onto my physical body. I then heard odd noises suggesting I was still in astral but I was not interested in going back. I quickly drifted off.
Rape
When I went back to sleep I had a vivid dream of school. I was the teacher of a large class of students. We were walking to class and I remember getting to the classroom and realizing there were way too many kids. I recall telling another teacher we would have to open another room. I remember walking down an isle of desks and giving each student (all female) two Skittles. I told them, "I don't do this all the time". The girls were giggling and very obviously bad as in discipline problems.
When we took the class outside they all decided to run off. We searched for them but found nothing. I remember looking and seeing a young girl who had been in the class. She was sneaking about and only had on a shirt and her underwear. I called her to me and she crawled on her belly, obviously frightened. I asked her what happened and she whispered something. I don't remember what she said now but I recall that I yelled, "She needs to talk to an officer, she's been raped!" At that point I began to sob. I sobbed so hard that I couldn't breathe.
I woke up sobbing.
Wake up!
It seems like my warning of something "bad" happening was my dreams alerting me to the problems in my life I needed to deal with. It was as if all night I was getting the message, "Wake up!"
Today at work I am emotional. I don't know if it is the hormones of pregnancy or just my frustration or both. I forwarded the email I sent to my boss to my coworkers and got replied that said, "Excellent" and "Spot on!" which made me cry. It is at least nice to know I am not alone in my work frustrations.
I have not even attempted to handle my issues with my sister. My thoughts last night led me to the conclusion that I just need to move, to get out of where I am in life; away from my home surrounded in family drama, secrets and inability to confront and away from my job where I feel like a failure every day.
Something's gotta give.
Last night I went to bed as usual and fell asleep without any problem because I read my book. However, I was awakened at 2:42am in tears from a bad dream.
Mom Going to Prison
In the dream I was in what appeared to be an middle ages or older village. There were round, wooden houses with hay stacked roofs and I was with a group of people, "family". We were going through the houses but I don't remember much about what we were doing until we entered the final house. In the middle of this house was a wooden contraption with tiny, wooden plates all over it. It went to the ceiling and spun around on an axis. A man with me took it down and I remember being excited to learn it was a machine for cooking multiple pancakes. I even remember eating some and enjoying eating them.
I woke up in tears and that is when I couldn't go back to sleep. My mind instantly filled with all my worries. The top two worries: work and my sister.
After trying to quiet my mind unsuccessfully for almost an hour, I finally decided I needed to get up and do something about my work situation. I wrote an email to my bosses. It was amazing how quickly and smoothly the words flew off my fingertips. When I read over it, it was perfect and very professional. I sent it and felt heaps better.
When I laid back down I started to think about my worries again. I remember that I drifted back to sleep for a little bit and had a mini-dream about potatoes. That woke me up and I think went back to sleep.
When I fell back to sleep I found myself standing in my own driveway watching as a car rushed by. I remember wondering who it was. Then a dump truck came flying by and I jumped on top. When I was on top of it I realized it was spinning and going really, really fast, faster than anything normal. I also remember saying, "I am dreaming".
As soon as I realized I was dreaming I jumped off the truck and flew towards the trees in front of me. However, my heart was not in it and all my worries came flooding back to me as I tried to enjoy the experience of flying (my favorite thing to do in astral). I remember watching the colors go from vivid to blurry and then slowly fade. I saw tree branches and swirls behind my eyelids and felt my astral body settle down onto my physical body. I then heard odd noises suggesting I was still in astral but I was not interested in going back. I quickly drifted off.
Rape
When I went back to sleep I had a vivid dream of school. I was the teacher of a large class of students. We were walking to class and I remember getting to the classroom and realizing there were way too many kids. I recall telling another teacher we would have to open another room. I remember walking down an isle of desks and giving each student (all female) two Skittles. I told them, "I don't do this all the time". The girls were giggling and very obviously bad as in discipline problems.
When we took the class outside they all decided to run off. We searched for them but found nothing. I remember looking and seeing a young girl who had been in the class. She was sneaking about and only had on a shirt and her underwear. I called her to me and she crawled on her belly, obviously frightened. I asked her what happened and she whispered something. I don't remember what she said now but I recall that I yelled, "She needs to talk to an officer, she's been raped!" At that point I began to sob. I sobbed so hard that I couldn't breathe.
I woke up sobbing.
Wake up!
It seems like my warning of something "bad" happening was my dreams alerting me to the problems in my life I needed to deal with. It was as if all night I was getting the message, "Wake up!"
Today at work I am emotional. I don't know if it is the hormones of pregnancy or just my frustration or both. I forwarded the email I sent to my boss to my coworkers and got replied that said, "Excellent" and "Spot on!" which made me cry. It is at least nice to know I am not alone in my work frustrations.
I have not even attempted to handle my issues with my sister. My thoughts last night led me to the conclusion that I just need to move, to get out of where I am in life; away from my home surrounded in family drama, secrets and inability to confront and away from my job where I feel like a failure every day.
Something's gotta give.
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