Answers in Dreams
Prior to bed I again asked for clarification, this time shifting my question to, "Give me more specifics on what you mean by "face". Face what exactly?"
Dream: Suitor
I was invited to a man's home where we had dinner and a nice chat. He was a nerdy (something has been overlooked) sort of guy with a pronounced nose, thin face and light hair. He was tall and thin, wore glasses and appeared to be somewhat young. We got along well, though, and I enjoyed his company. We spoke about his plans, his education and other things. He invited me to be more than friends. I declined. I remember being attracted to the attention he was giving me but understanding the implications allowing myself to overly indulge in his attention. I did not want to encourage him knowing I was unable to reciprocate. I had thoughts about my husband and family at this time.
I remember him telling me he had bought the house (soul, self) we were in. His believed if he owned a house and was successful in his career it would somehow magically bring his life-long partner to him. The situation reminded me of a male bird that creates a nest for his prospective mate and then dances around to get her attention. I remember saying, "How do you know you will want to be here in 10, 20 years?" I don't remember his response. His idea seemed completely silly to me and him quite young and naive.
He took me outside to show me around. In the front, right corner of his yard was a patch of land. I saw it's potential and said, "If I lived here I would plant a garden (potential, growth) right there. All we would have to do is cut back some of these trees so more light could reach it." I looked up at the towering trees and saw the one that would need to be cut. He said, "That one is the neighbor's tree." I looked at the land and saw the garden that could be in my mind. Then I had to remind myself that I was not going to be with this man nor live in the house. There could be no garden. Part of me was sad about it because I do enjoy creating and planning, being newly in love and hopeful for the future. This man represented all of those things.
We discussed his plans for the future of his home. He said he had opted not to build a garage (inactivity/idleness) but instead put in a full-size, in-ground swimming pool (cleansing, wash away the past). I saw it at the back of the house and told him it was a good idea because garages are not really needed in Texas. He told me he planned to add it later.
When we parted ways I knew I was choosing my current life over a prospective new, exciting one. There was Knowing that this man would not be happy with me, that I would disappoint him in some way or that his expectations would fall short. His plan was in no way realistic and I could see the illusion of it.
Then I was sitting in a living room facing my husband whose face I never directly saw as he was sitting in the shadows. I told him about my meeting with the young man and my husband knew straight away the reality of the situation. He knew the young man had been trying to convince me to leave my marriage and run off with him and he knew I had been tempted by the offer. My husband said, "Thank you for telling me and being honest with me about." I remember feeling lucky to have a partner who did not overreact. I remember counting my blessings and thanking him.
There were many thoughts going on in my mind during this dream. Primarily I was looking at what was and what could be. In making my decision I opted to remain where I was because I saw that it was what I wanted. I had asked for what I had and received it. No it wasn't perfect but why would I give up what I wanted for a "maybe" that would most likely turn sour? There was also the consideration that I didn't want to start all over again if I didn't have to.
When I woke up I knew why I had dreamed this dream. My first thoughts upon waking were that I did indeed have everything I had asked for early in life - a family with children, stability, not having to work, a nice home, all the necessities and then some, a bright future that promised more of the same and a husband who was dedicated to me no matter what. I received the answer to the questions I asked before bed. I made the right choice based upon my wants and needs.
I was inside an elementary school and in a classroom with kids around 10 years old. I was one of them and very tired (unwilling to see something, avoidance of awareness), so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. The teacher located me and put me with a group of other kids to complete our group assignment (life lesson). There were three others kids, two boys and one girl. I sat at the open seat and saw that they were all drawing symbols (confusion or ignorance in a situation) in columns on paper. The symbols were large and colored with labels indicating their meaning. I asked, "What can I do to help?" but can't recall the answer I got. The symbols looked familiar to me. I recall one looked like the sun (insight). My first thought was they were astrological symbols but I can't be sure they were because I kept falling asleep at my desk.
The room was crowded with kids all doing similar group projects. I was reminded of a dream I had a few nights ago where I was told I had to complete the remainder of a test. It had been returned to me marked up and I had to re-do the portion I had failed. I was told I would have to re-do it until I got all of the answers correct. It was a math test and the feeling I had was, "I don't want to." lol
Dream: Bus Driver
In this dream I had just left the school in the previous dream and was driving fast along a crowded road. I remember feeling very free and happy. I could feel the wind in my hair and I laughed as I zigzagged through the streets. I even said to someone, "This is fun!"
At one point I felt a large semi-truck (feeling overburdened) behind me. I looked in a tiny mirror in front of my handlebars (I was on a bike - need for freedom/adventure) and saw the truck was only an inch from my seat. I decided to let the truck hit me and then I road on the hood of it laughing and giving the driver the finger. lol
Then the truck slowed and I was soon driving on my own again. I then realized it was no truck but a school bus (life journey needed for growth) because it got stuck in traffic. I flew by it laughing and saw all of the kids on the bus were giving me the finger! lol
Then I was driving (in control) the bus somehow and had a full group of kids in the back. Again I enjoyed zigzagging through traffic. This time I avoided pedestrians and then had to stop suddenly at an intersection (choices). I didn't know which way to go. The intersection only allowed me to turn left or right. The lady in the bus behind me didn't know the way so I opted to turn right (ration, logic).
On the road there were arrows indicating a one-way road with multiple lanes. I went to the far left (subconscious, passivity) intending to turn left but found it only led into businesses and shops. I kept going straight trying to get to the highway. Eventually I had to deal with a snotty nosed, fat kid sitting in the front. He was crying for candy and had handcuffs (feeling trapped) on. I let him out of his handcuffs and somehow we ended up walking on the road. He threw a total tantrum and fell to the ground refusing to go with me. I told him I was leaving and left him there crying in the road. Eventually I knew he would get up and follow rather than be stuck there all alone. He needed me to get home.
Considerations
When I woke I had Knowing about some things but will no go into detail about them here as they are private and relate only to me. I understood, though, that the messages I have been receiving do not mean I can't make changes to my life, just that I should accept my life as it is, however it is at any given time. Being in acceptance means acknowledging the blessings as well as the perceived "curses" but not judging either as good or bad. Acceptance doesn't judge. It sees things as they are and that is all. From a point of "truth" one an make decisions that are determined by soul need rather than by emotion. This is why resistance is not advised. Resistance promises emotion which in turn leads to emotional decisions and more of the same that brought about the resistance in the first place. The point is to end unwanted cycles, not perpetuate them.
So though I am not completely sold on what my guidance is telling me I understand why they are leading me in the direction they are (well my HS is leading me). I am like the fat (need to learn moderation) child (trying to escape responsibilities of adulthood) in the last dream. Crying for candy (indulgence, special "treats" in life), in handcuffs (held back) and throwing a tantrum (behaving immaturely). My HS sets me free but I still refuse to cooperate, as children tend to do. I lay there refusing to move and my HS leaves knowing at some point I will get up and follow because I cannot get where I want to go without her.
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