Living Life in Between

I haven't been posting much lately out of sheer laziness.  From the wake of my husband's boss and best friend to my elective ultrasound and crazy pregnancy dreams, there has been plenty to write about. Where to start? Pregnancy I guess I will update everyone on my pregnancy. I am fast approaching 18 weeks and my BIG anatomy ultrasound! Yay! And then, ick! I am such a worry wart that all I can think about is the what if's. What if the measurements show that something is wrong with baby? What if there isn't enough fluid around baby? What if baby's heart beat stopped? and so on and so forth. I can't help it. I guess it comes with being a mommy and pregnant. In my worry I chose to do an elective ultrasound last week. I wanted to make sure baby looked like a baby and didn't have some deformed features like a long tail or swollen head. I hadn't seen baby since around 8 weeks, so who knew what might have happened? Well, baby looked like a baby. :)...

Lately I have been having dreams of moving. The night before last it was a dream involving me being resistant to moving. I recall seeing a map and discussing locations to move to with my husband. In the end we split up and I remember being very upset with him and also devastated. In last night's dream I again saw a map but this time we both chose to move and we were house hunting. We found a house up North near water and I was happy with what we found. I remember seeing the house and the back yard and thinking it was perfect. In both dreams the discussion about where to move involved places up North where there was snow. In the first one I remember Colorado was discussed and I was against it because it snowed. In the second I saw Montana on the map (I use to live there) but the place we ended up was not in Montana as it was near an ocean or large lake. I also recall compromising with my husband on being in the Southern part of the state. 2:15 When I woke from both the dreams ...

I never know when I will get a "visit" from one of my guides. It is always nice to have one, but they don't seem to come when I want them to. Instead, they "pop" in for a visit and then I never know when they will come by next. When I say visit, I don't mean via dreams. I pretty much expect my guides to visit my dreams. There really aren't too many dreams in which I can't identify one or more of my guides. If the dreams are lucid or turn astral then it is always wonderful to be conscious of their presence. Unfortunately, when I am busy like I have been, consciousness in dreams or astral travel are few and far between, although I do think I am more lucid in my dreams than most people. The kind of visit I am referring to in this blog is when one or more of my guides is closer energy-wise than normal and make their presence known. This is done when I am fully conscious, not in the dream state or astral. Typically my guides are back from me. It is ...

The frog was in my dreams last night. It was a very strange dream, too. In the dream I was going around from shop to shop with my best friend from high school. I kept not going into shops because of this or that. One shop we went into I did not want to go in because it looked like people were dancing in it. When I looked closer, however, they were going down the middle of the shop and at the end were given a prize. My friend did this and got a tube of pink lip stick. I decided I wanted some lip stick, too. So I went down and got some for myself but it was blue. I didn't want blue, though. My friend went down and got more make-up, this time some powder. She really liked it and was talking to a sales rep. I remember telling her I couldn't wear powder because of my wrinkles. I said she didn't have any and she showed me she did. I decided at that point to go down and get more. However, this time I had to catch a frog. From out of the side of the building (elevator maybe?) thi...

Yesterday was a scary day for me. I woke up from a dreamless sleep with a bad feeling. I tried to remember my dreams and only remembered one part. In that short bit I remember there was news that I had protein in my urine. That was it but the bad feeling went with it. I immediately remember my first pregnancy when I was told I had pre-eclampsia and assumed the bad feeling belonged to that memory. When I got to work all was normal. Then I went to the bathroom and found blood on the toilet paper. The feeling that came over me was absolute dread. I even stopped breathing. Then I started shaking. This could not be happening. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest and so I tried to relax. But I couldn't. I ended up calling my doctor's nurse and leaving a message. I needed reassurance. As I waited I noticed that I was cramping slightly. This scared me even more. I knew that bleeding with cramping equals miscarriage. Miscarriage. I shuddered and started shaking again. ...

Unlike Thursday and Friday, Saturday and then today I woke up feeling disappointed. I am not sure exactly why. Perhaps I misread the anticipation, thinking it would mean good news because I felt so good. Usually how I feel is a direct result of what I perceive, even if I do not know exactly what it is I perceive. Fire Saturday morning I woke from dreams in which there was a lot of fire. I remember running from a dorm room where a fire had started. I went to a hotel where another fire was in full swing. In both places I was grabbing things that I wanted to save from the fire. I don't remember now what I took with me but I do remember seeing toys and leaving them behind. When I woke up I knew the dream was about death and transformation. I did not feel good or bad, just blah. The image of the fire was still clear in my mind when my husband told me the bad news. His boss and best friend had indeed passed away. He passed that very morning. I was surprised because I thought that...

For the past few days I have been having this feeling of anticipation when I wake in the morning. It feels like I am waiting for something to happen. It is a good feeling, overall. For example, when I go to work in the morning I want to rush up to the people I work with and tell them the good news. Problem is, what good news? I have no idea what good news I am feeling like telling them, yet I feel like I want to tell them something. It is as if there is a welling up from inside me of this amazing, happy, celebratory feeling. Yet, nothing is going on right now really that suggests I should have such a feeling. It is an odd but welcomed feeling. I feel like I did when I was a child and each new day felt as if something wonderful would happen. Death I know, it is strange for me to go from talking about feeling wonderful to the topic of death, but it something that has happened recently to friends of our family. My husband came home earlier this week and announce that a friend of our...