What I Learned Today
When we arrived at the kiddie pool, we were early so we took our time getting our swimsuits on in the changing area. My daughter was really stoked and could not stop talking about swimming and playing in the pool. My son didn't quite know what to make of everything and just wanted to explore the changing area. My daughter and I both got changed and were ready to go but my son still needed changing. When I tried to change him he flat out refused and demanded we "go home". I was patient with him and kept trying to get him to change but he still refused. My daughter began to get upset and started trying to force him to change. I stopped her and she calmed down but remained panicked. She didn't want to lose out on the kiddie pool!
I figured my son would change his mind when we went out to the pool. As we headed towards it he kept saying, "Go home now, Mommy". My daughter was super stressed out from her brother not wanting to swim and kept trying to force him to want to go. She said,"You DO want to go swimming!" He was still insistent. He did not want to go to the kiddie pool.
We got out to the pool and my daughter went straight for the water. We got out her floaties and were trying to get my son to notice. He noticed but he still wanted nothing to do with the kiddie pool. The lifeguard approached us and said my daughter could not have her floaties because they were not regulation. So I took them off her. This caused my daughter to have a meltdown. My son was wandering around the pool area demanding, "Go home Mommy! Go home!" The lifeguard told me that if my children were in the pool I had to be in the pool. I realized that this wasn't going to work. My son didn't want in the pool and he had to be supervised while he was out of the pool. My daughter definitely wanted to be in the pool and I had to be in the pool if she was in it. Dilemma, dilemma!
I stayed calm but my daughter did not. She began crying uncontrollably and was hysterical. Her hopes of swimming dashed by her brother. She was angry at him but held it in quite well. Every time I asked her to stop and calm down, she listened and did it, but soon fell back to hysterics after only a few moments. My son was adamant about not swimming. I had no choice but to leave the pool area. My daughter was devastated and cried the whole way to the exit, pleading for us to stay.
I had an idea, though. I decided to check and see if I could use the recreation center's daycare for my son. If they would allow me to let him stay there me and my daughter could swim. I asked and sure enough my son could stay there for a very tiny fee - $3. It was worth it to me to see both my children happy. Strangely I was not panicky or stressed out through the whole thing. I just stayed calm and I believe it helped my daughter, though she struggled greatly to overcome her disappointed sorrow.
When I took my son down to the daycare he took one look at it and ran through the door and into the playroom. He could care less that he left Mommy behind. He was in heaven.
So my daughter and I returned to the kiddie pool and she played and swam about for over an hour. I stayed with her and was able to coax her into the deeper areas. I also was able to get her to practice swimming. When she was ready she just got out and got her towel and announced she was done. Perfect. Moments later the later from the front desk came up to me and said the daycare was calling for me. Perfect again. We were on our way out anyway.
When I went to get my son he was happy to see me and announced to me, "Mommy, go home!" Then, when I mentioned that I figured he would be hungry, he said, "Mommy, restaurant!" The daycare girls and I had a good laugh at how grown-up he sounded. I am very proud of him.
As we left the recreation center my daughter said to me, "Thank you Mommy. I had so much fun at the kiddie pool!"
I told her, "You're welcome. And you know what? I am so proud of you! When you were crying and upset over not being able to stay and swim, you listened to me and calmed down. And see? All your upset was for nothing! You got to swim in the kiddie pool just like you wanted!"
She turned to me and said, "Yeah" with a big smile on her face.
Then I told her, "You know, often times we get upset about things when there really isn't any need. If we are patient, we get just what we want".
As I told her this I realized I needed to listen to what I had just said and I laughed out loud. I even said to myself, "Yep". I did not hear the voice of my guide passing on a message, I just knew that I needed to listen to what I was telling my daughter. I suddenly saw myself in her - throwing an unneeded tantrum because I perceived that I wouldn't get what I wanted. Wasting my time and energy for nothing. If I am patient, I will get exactly what I want.
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