Glimpse at Future Troubles
Prior to going to bed last night, I asked to be shown some of my future, to be given healing and to see all of my guides together at once. I also asked to not be shown or told anything I could not handle. I didn't expect all of that to happen in one night, and it didn't, but my dreams suggest that my future was the main topic of discussion.
Part 1
The main dream that I remember was in two distinct parts. In part one I was in a storage area, similar to a warehouse but there were people there with me all getting their things, sitting and eating or mulling about. I was with my daughter and we were going to look through some stuff that I had left there. Before we got to sorting through my things, I recall having to discipline my daughter because she had gotten into the pistachios and left shells and slobbered-on whole pistachios on the floor. She had done it in the night and I helped her clean up the mess. We took the pistachios and put them back into this cylindrical container with a very small opening.
We then went to look through my "stuff". I recall seeing boxes and things piled up neatly. I distinctly remember seeing several boxes labeled "counseling" with orange, four-inch wide ribbons or sashes across the tops. There were also tall, slender boxes for holding poster board-type things such as art-work, documents or similar things. It reminded me of the boxes my Mom had her old school bulletin boards stored in.
I recall focusing on a strange structure that appeared to be like a scarecrow or a really bad art piece of a man. As I took the structure apart, I noticed that it was edible. I don't remember much about it except that it had two tall, forked things that popped out of the top. They happened to be made out of chocolate and my daughter really wanted to eat them. She ran off with one of them and caught the attention of a couple who was sitting at a bench watching us. They had papers in their hands and appeared to be eating, though I saw no food.
The man of the couple began questioning me about my Mom. He seemed to be angry or just aggressive. He brought up my Mom's past and asked me if I knew all of her past. He was trying to get me to be suspicious of my mother's past. The woman, his wife, was much more passive and almost apologetic. The man had a phone with him and asked me if he could look at something I had of my Mom's. I then had a notebook in my hand that was very old and had my mother's handwriting in it. He took photos of this and told me that my Mom had been married before she married my father and that he had been her husband. He told me that I should ask her about him. He spoke with a nastiness that was palpable.
When I left that scene the dream shifted into Part 2.
Part 2
I was driving along the familiar road to my house and my Mom's house. As I drove, I got slowed down by a couple in a pick-up truck. They were slowed down for some kind of animal. I stopped also because several large birds were in the road. The birds looked like large, tan colored chicken except they were too big to be chickens. They had distinct, large black spots on them. There were three of them and they eventually wandered off the road. I didn't know what kind of birds they were but when the couple in the truck looked at me questionably I said, "Oh, they're tarragon".
I continued on the road and approached this old, two story white house. The road became overgrown with grass and I heard someone tell me that the road had not been used in so long that it was overgrown but if I looked closely I would see where it had been. I slowly followed it and it turned to the right over the top of the edge of a pond. The pond was on my right and the house on my left as I drove along it. I was focused on the road, though. At this time the vehicle I was traveling in was gone and I was on foot.
At the end of the road (it stopped by the white house) there was a gate. I walked through the gate and there was a woman there. I don't remember talking much but I know we spoke because I had all this knowledge about my Mom's past. I began walking in this field full of cows. Most were black and are a familiar sight where I live. As I walked, one cow, a white one, started running at me. I climbed over the fence and laughed at it. I even said something to it like, "You can't get me now, can you?"
I walked on the other side of the fence for a while but the cows found a low place and jumped the fence. I got a little worried they would chase me but I got to the end of the fence. There was a door on my side and on the right side there was a room inside of a house.
I ended up back on the right side and inside a room. There was a black cow dog and a man. He was telling me how to get through and keep going on my path. The cow dog rolled onto its back, revealing its tummy. I knew this dog, but not sure from where, and I spoke to her. I remember commenting on how old and thin she was and being concerned about her dying. Then the woman from the warehouse (Part 1) was there. She had been following me and was trying to get to me before I got to my Mom. I remember telling her that she needed to leave her husband. That he was bad for her; controlling. I remember she gave me information about my Mom, telling me she had other children, one other one with yet another husband I didn't know about. I was shocked but not concerned. I then began shifting the conversation back to her, asking her why she had no kids and knowing she didn't because of her father-in-law.
The dream ended there and I awoke feeling refreshed and positive.
Interpretation/Considerations
My guide, John, was there and close. I thought about my dreams and knew that we had been talking about my future, specifically the role my family played in it. I immediately was drawn to my sister and was reminded of my memory between lives when her name was on my mind right before I descended into this body.
I also thought about my Mom and how she had been in a messy situation involving my sister. To make a long story short, my Mom cosigned for my sister so she could get a car. The deal they made was that my Mom would pay for the car for 6 months and then my sister would take over payment. My sister had just gotten out of jail and had no job, no income, etc. My sister had also been lying to us for years about all kinds of things and was untrustworthy. I knew it was a bad idea for my Mom and warned her, but she did it anyway, believing my sister would be true to her word.
Six months later, my sister was not paying the car payment and my Mom's credit score was being damaged. My sister did a lot of other things that I won't go into now, but lets just say she made very selfish decisions. She continues this pattern to this day and my Mom is all distraught over it. My Mom is planning on paying off the car but is undecided about her next step. I have had to step back and not get involved. It use to really upset me and I would get very angry but now I just don't get involved and don't give advice or anything. I listen and I intuitively know how this will end. It won't be a good ending and apparently that is what my dreams were all about.
Interesting, the "tarragon" bird from my dream popped into my mind and I was curious about it. Tarragon is a spice, not a bird! When I looked it up, I found that tarragon in dreams can symbolize treachery or betrayal. That seemed appropriate being my first thoughts were about my sister upon waking.
The cows in my dreams also stood out to me. Cows indicate an individual's passive or docile nature. To be in a herd or around a herd of cows indicates the need to belong. I think the white cow chasing me could be indicative of me resisting changing my stance of being uninvolved and "passive" in my family's disputes. Also, running from the cows could indicate that I am trying to avoid my family's issues. The door appears at the end and so I am able to get past these issues, an alternate route is available.
The fence in my dream was a barrier that I climbed over, so overcame the obstacle but not necessarily by legitimate means. The cow climbed over, too, though, so apparently the success will be limited or be stifled by someone else in my family doing something similar. I think about the "legitimate" word and it indicates a connection to the law. There has been talk about resolving the car situation by doing something not quite legal and trying to get me involved in that process. Hmmm.
The black dog in my dream suggests that I will uncover someone's true intentions. It can also indicate the "shadow" aspect of someone I know. Being the dog is old and thin, it could be someone older than me or someone who appears or feels old.
I also believe there is a secret. It is not revealed in the dream, but the dream contains a lot of discussion about things my Mom has purposely not told me. So there is something that is unknown to me right now. Whatever it is, I feel the need to be prepared for the knowledge of it and to keep my cool when I discover what it is.
Advice
Long ago, when the family issues began getting to me, I was given advice by Steven. He said, "Step back". I understood this as "mind my own business". I also got the message to "let them learn their lessons" and "stay out of it". I got this message after passing on information that was then used by a member of the family to cause a lot of upset. I opened my mouth and caused upset. I decided it was true, that to be involved would do no one any good. So I have successfully stayed out of it. I am proud of myself for being able to do so. It is hard seeing family do stupid things and then have to face the consequences of it, especially my Mom. I want to protect her and get revenge for her. That is not my job, though. I tried as much as I could to get her to understand things, to see what I see, but she just doesn't.
Apparently the "bumpy ride" message I got from my guide John applies to family drama. I am not looking forward to it. It bothers me to know that my Mom is being unfairly treated; to know that my sister would take advantage of not only her but anyone else who allows themselves to become a victim. I feel like my sister is lost to me. I don't understand her or know her anymore. I love her, but I don't like her at all. I would never hang out or be friends with someone like her. That kind of dishonestly and selfishness is toxic.
All of this family drama is part of my lesson here. I was very curious what lesson my sister could be learning. I was told it had to do with controlling human emotion and physical desires. From what I can tell, she is failing miserably at it. I was reminded how I had a similar test years ago. I passed it, though I recall just how hard it was on me. I struggled a lot. The specific weakness I put myself through was having a physical attraction to someone who was not good for me. This attraction was addictive and when indulged brought out parts of me that I had no idea existed. The human body can be very difficult to control when the right circumstances are present. The emotions that arise from it can also be very destructive. I experienced the most intense jealously that I have experienced in this life. It was horrible and it brought out nastiness in me that I am thankful I was able to repress. I cried, I felt empty and I was confused. Yet somehow, I knew how to overcome it. Time. Distance. It worked, too, though it seemed like it took forever!
In being shown the memory I was allowed to reflect on my past experiences, how they affected me and what I learned. I also knew that I had tested myself to make sure I had learned that lesson and to help me understand my sister now, at this time in our life.
My sister is being controlled by her body and emotions. She is not succeeding in overcoming herself. The longer she stays and indulges in it, the worse it gets. I pity her. I also know the only way for her to overcome her problem is to get past her physical emotions and bodily urges and listen.
I intuitively know that I will "know" when to finally get involved in my family's dramas. I have not had that inclination yet. I think it will be a long time coming. If this is the "bumpy ride" John was referring to, then I am happy that it is not something worse. My family I can deal with. Step back. Let them learn. Listen. Easy, right?
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